Zaddy

have you ever thought about the kind of lover you are? thought about what it’s like loving you? 

Venus.    the goddess of love and money. our Venus energy speaks to what we value, our attachment to others and money, our sensuality, and in all, the way that we love.   mine happens to be in Scorpio. Scorpio, a water sign who is brave, passionate, and loyal. but on the other hand, Scorpio can be jealous, secretive, and a deep emotional presence that is mysterious and assertive through emotions.  ruled by Mars and Pluto, Scorpio energy is active, raw energy that can also have a dark side.   and when you apply all of that to Love…. yeah. that Venus in Scorpio.   I’m the type that loves deeply. and I’m learning not to apologize for it.  “you’re too much.” “you are too intense.” I had to stop and do a self-assessment. what did those things mean? were there things I needed to change? when I looked into my natal chart, I started to understand who I am so that I could balance it all out—and learn to choose wisely based on who I am.    in Love, I’m all or nothing. I don’t really like the in between or a bunch of maybe. either we are or we are not. I need to know clearly what we are doing. I’m loyal to a fault and I want all of you. either I’m attracted to you or I’m not and when I’m attracted to you, it is intense and for me, sometimes all consuming. problem is, I’m a sensitive person deep down and (although I’m a writer) I’m not the best communicator. I have these eruptions of emotion when I can’t find the words to express how I feel. I crave touch and attention and as I get older, my libido is through the roof. I need commitment and security, and I require plenty of PDA. after reading that, the word intense may be a bit of an understatement.   I am a flirt and men often find me intriguing because I am not the type to put it all out there. there is a bit of mystery. 

I am all feminine energy- unapologetically. 

that water sign in my Venus is not easy to Love. it’s not easy to deal with. and I have learned to be aware of when my moods skyrocket. the person on the other end can’t always hear me clearly when I let those turbulent Scorpio waters rise up.   what I had to learn and accept? I am intense. I love passionately, and that kind of Love ain’t for everyone. part of the issue is that I Loved the wrong folks. some of it Is that I had to learn to manage my moods better. not tame them. not hold back, but learn to communicate more clearly and think before reacting. having a water sign in my Venus, is that heart on your sleeve energy and I would often go with that flow. that’s not always rational.    I also had to make sure that the person who receives my Love didn’t feel smothered or overwhelmed. I know that I’m a lot to handle. but what I also learned is that a man who is truly my complement, the person right for me, will be able to deal with my ebb and flow and roll effortlessly with my tide.   he’ll call me on my behavior but won’t say it’s a deal breaker. he’ll be able to stare at me calmly when I have an eruption and simply ask me if I’ve gotten my crazy in check so we can proceed with what we are doing. he’ll have no problem spontaneously kissing me in public because he loves PDA as much as I do. all of my imperfections won’t matter and I won’t be too much.or maybe I will, but he will know what to do with me. all of me.    it’s amazing when you fully understand your innate spirit. this being unapologetic thing, it’s working for me. I actually have a lot of Scorpio energy all over my natal chart, so the depths of water are in my soul. and because I understand this now, I can require that my soul be loved properly. because my Venus in Scorpio won’t allow for much else. that man is going to have to pull me close and kiss me in the middle of the restaurant to let me know it’s really real.   and at this point in my life, I’m good with that.

kisses. ~Tee