Put it in a letter.
I have not posted in quite some time, that's not to say that I don't have about 10 drafts started, but I just could not get it together over July and August. I was definitely a little stressed about it but also needed to enjoy what was left of my summer, post Yoga Teacher Training (TT). My last post was written during my last days of TT with a recipe for some kick- a*s fish tacos ( perfect indian summer meal, so if you haven't made them yet...you should.), the one before was an under eye trouble shooting god send ( buh-bye eye bags ), and before that a recipe for a smoothie that got me through training and continues to get me through, but in each of those posts I made very vague mention of all the wonderful and challenging things I was experiencing in my teacher training with promise to share more later. So here we are and what do I have to say for myself?
Well, there is really so much to say and probably not what most people would expect. I say that because when I told friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors that I was doing a 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training I got a lot of questions and feedback. The friends I hold dearest to me were nothing but supportive but some others offered up words of "wisdom" like, I hope you don't turn into a total yogi weirdo..I've seen it happen, Are you going to be able to contort your body in crazy positions?, You are going to lose so much weight and be ripped- is that why you are doing this?, So what are you going to do...quit your job and open up a yoga studio???... No Judgements, Right? I went into this experience without really knowing what I was getting myself into. I had so many questions about myself, about yoga, about spirituality, and about where I am in my life.
On the first day of TT we all had to come with a letter we had written to ourselves about why we were there, this caused me some anxiety because I had a feeling it would be "on offer" to share with a group of people I didn't really know at all, and I did, and It went a little something like this:
Cara,
I am so thrilled for you and the yoga adventure you are about to embark on. You've been searching for greater fulfillment, contentment, a spiritual connection, a tribe, and ultimate happiness for some time now. You deserve to find all of that and more on this journey.... and I am excited to see ALL of that realize for you. You started your yoga practice as a way to balance out all of the other physical exercise you are/were involved in. By practicing yoga you realized it was providing soooo much more than a good stretch. I hope and know that these 200 hours will prove to do the same. Wishing you transformation, a deeper connection to self, the ability to just be, and movement towards the life you are searching for.
Love,
Me
I can't say that I got allllllll of the answers, in fact I think I left with more/different questions than I started with. I'm learning that, I'm learning so much but have soooooo much to learn, especially about myself. But as promised and in the spirit of sharing here are some of the most important things I learned in TT:
1. Breathe. Seriously, Just Breathe.....it makes yoga and pretty much everything better.
2. Yogis really have a problem with words like "should/shouldn't", "supposed to" and "the right way"..... I am realizing, we all "should" too.
3. Sticking a handstand does not means you've reached enlightenment, but that one time when I did for 2 seconds.....it felt pretty damn good.
4. You can learn more about yourself by staring into someone else's eyes for 5 minutes than you would imagine. Try it.
5. I am sensitive, and that is not a character flaw or a sign of weakness.
6. It's good to let yourself cry when you need to, and sometimes that happens in pigeon on your yoga mat....and that's ok.
7. Yoga is weird. I am weird. Fitting in some "box" is also weird. And isn't that great?
8. Just because you think something, it doesn't mean it's true.
8b. We are also not all the things that have been told to us.
9. EVERYONE has their shit. (period)
10. Saying Hello to a feeling, thought, or memory is important, but don't forget to say GOODBYE to it. ( *breathing is also really good here.)
11. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.
12. It's okay not to have all the answers.
13. It is not okay to thank people for letting you "practice on them" *Oh, hey Pauli ;)
14. Chant. Trust me.....CHANT!
15. Writing letters to yourself is just as therapeutic as writing a letter to someone that you never send. Write one, put it away for a few months and then read it out loud to yourself.......
Which brings me to the letter I wrote myself at the end of TT:
Dear Me,
I think you were supposed to write this letter to yourself weeks ago, but somehow we missed that. Normally I would be pretty hard on you about messing that up....but I think we are both pretty tired of that. You came into this training looking to find a deeper sense of self, community, a spiritual connection, fulfillment, maybe tone up your arms, and answers to many many questions. Even though you were excited for this experience you doubted that you would actually get what you were looking for...and here we are on the last weekend and it has far exceeded expectations. You are stronger than you think you are, you found a safe and loving tribe, you don't have ALL the answers, you are still working on that handstand and that is OKAY because you are on the right track. You have a beating heart that is full of love and a throat that's ready to share and a life ahead of you that is full of possibilities with some new amazing, smart, crazy, weird, intuitive, beautiful, supportive yogi friends. Now do us a favor and give yourself a hug. You aren't stuck anymore.
So that my friends is a little insight as to what I learned in my 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training. I highly recommend it, whether you want to be a teacher or not. Stay tuned for more on what I'm going to "DO' with all of that and more posts on the things I do and dontCARA about.
Much love and Namaste B*tches.
xoxo














