#sides

And although he is harsh for Sides, he kinda gets really attached to him (and maybe he sees a little potential in him)

Easier to draw too,

That one art meme(?)

Ref under the cut:

Choices

Gn!reader x Manon + Sophia

summary: Reader has to choose. this doesn't come easy anymore like choosing someone to be on your team in gym class.

tags: angst? hurt/ABSOLUTELY NO comfort, Established relationship between you and Manon, Childhood lovers! Sophia and you, having to choose...

a/n: bro y'all have no idea how hard it was to choose endgame please. I SAT THERE AND WROTE PROS AND CONS BC EVEN I DIDN'T KNOW. anyways dont kill me.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

You stood there, clenching your fists so tight that your knuckles could turn white. Manon and Sophia stood there, holding their breaths. You could almost cut the tension with a knife.

Every memory came at once. The good ones. Sophia’s laugh, the way she carries herself, the way the world had always felt safe in her presence. Manon’s warmth. Her patience, the small sanctuary she had built around you and her so no one could touch you.

And then came the bad ones. The nights staring at the ceiling, feeling hollow inside as you wonder if letting Sophia go had been a mistake, the moments you would look at the door, aching for the hole inside of you to be filled of Sophia once again. The doubt you had with Manon. Constantly feeling like you would never be enough and never be able to give her all of you. All of those came crashing at once.

Staring at each of their eyes hurt. Manon’s held calmness but behind that, you saw the pain you had caused. The pain Sophia had caused you that you had promised yourself to never inflict on someone else. The broken trust you could never repair with time.

Then there was Sophia, the pleading in her eyes, the regret that anyone could see. The eyes you once fell weakness to. You could see every unsaid word, every unsaid action behind those eyes and yet you didn’t gravitate to any of them. You couldn’t.

To choose was to ruin the bond with the other. To choose was to shatter the fragile peace they had built. The stability and foundation they had for their girl group. It wouldn’t just ruin those two. it would ruin everyone in their group. Every laugh, every moment would feel like a lie once you chose.

And yet, doing nothing didn’t feel any better nor easier. You couldn’t ruin it for them. You won’t.

Manon’s eyes flicked with worry, Sophia’s with pleading. Both of them feeling like you would pick the other. Not choosing felt like the cruelest decision of all.

“Maybe we should give you time to-“ Sophia said realising how panicked you had seemed.

Manon had cut her off. Sharp. “No. You don’t get to run anymore or play the victim. Me or her. I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’ll be enough for you. Every time I say something, I feel like i’m pushing you away more than I’m pulling you back in with me!”

Her voice had cracked at the end, the desperate edge in it betraying the fear she’d been holding in for so long. You and Sophia froze caught off guard by the rawness of Manon’s pleas.

For the first time, you saw vulnerability on both sides. The girl who you had loved in the past, and the girl who has loved you since you started this new life and yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to choose and ruin them.

Every fibre in your being wanted to change your storyline, beg people why it had to be you? Comfort them both. In that moment, you had realised picking no one was a choice too.

“I cant.” You said with finality in your voice walking to who knows. Possibly the balcony as you heard Sophia’s soft pleads and Manon’s quietness. All you knew was you needed space before you broke down in front of them.

Manon’s silence cut deeper than Sophia’s words ever could, it almost sounded like resignation dressed in acceptance.

Your peace lasted a second before the door slid open once again. At your peripheral vision was Manon standing beside you. She wasn’t looking at you, staring at the night sky instead. She didn’t gravitate towards you the way she used to.

Manon was guarded. As though everything she did down to her breath was measured carefully by her. Like getting too close would break her but also break you.

“I’m going home, I’m choosing me this time.” Manon broke the silence and she didn’t even sound upset, she sounded like she finally understood that this wasn’t a winning game. Like she finally understood her worth enough. Enough to walk away from something that was only supposed to be hers now.

“Mano-“ You tried turning to her but she looked at you with tears threatening to fall in any second in her eyes and you froze.

“If you really loved me,” She said, eyes shining that even you could feel your eyes burning with tears from seeing her. “You wouldn’t still be deciding.” Her voice shook slightly. “I chose you every second that i met you and you can’t even choose me now without a hesitation and i’d never forgive you for that.” She didn’t wait for a response, she just walked out.

Perhaps you should have called her out, perhaps she was waiting for you to stop her but even the devil couldnt get what he wanted and you felt helpless because she was right.

Walking back in after a few minutes, you paused surprised that Sophia was still there, on the couch. She had calmed down but she was staring at the floor.

“Sophia…” You swallowed watching as she slowly turned her gaze towards you. Her eyes empty.

“I saw Manon leave.” Was all she said. “She said, I had no right to ruin you again if you were to choose me once again and then she walked away like I had broken her just by wanting you back.”

You stayed silent because after all, what was there to say? Sophia looked at you, her heart breaking into pieces at the conflicted, tired look on your face.

You were always on her side, choosing her above yourself. She was always selfish with you, never choosing you, even when she left, she chose herself and it broke you so much that you couldn’t love Manon properly when you saw her again. So for once in her life, she chose you.

“So I won’t ruin your life again.” Sophia whispered getting up. “I won’t try again with you just to be selfish when I know it will break you even more.”

You stood there, wanting to say something. To beg for her to not leave like Manon has but you couldn’t bring yourself to move as she walked to the door. “I’m on your side this time, I’m choosing you above me.” Sophia said opening the door.

“I’ll always love you.” You manage to croak out but Sophia had already shut the door and you were left with silence because if she had said it back, she would have been selfish all over again.

Loving someone never meant holding them close, it had always meant to let them go if needed even if it tore you apart and you had just let the two women in your life walk away.

───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

You didn’t know why you were here. You had told yourself they’re happier but you wanted to see it with your own eyes.

So here you were at their concert venue, just far enough to be unseen. It had been a year since that day, you watched as the crowds roar as they come on stage. Six girls, Six hearts and a crowd full of people. They had increased popularity over the year, one could almost look at be proud if not for your eyes tearing up.

You should have felt regret, anger, any emotions but all you felt was ache. A hollow, bittersweet pride as you watch the girls scan the crowd, watching their happy faces. They couldn’t recognise you with the cap and jacket on, even if they did, you had looked at the ground when they looked at your section.

You couldn’t help but wish you were there backstage, waiting with a proud smile instead of a bittersweet one.

Throughout the concert, you watched as Sophia and Manon interact like sisters once again, moving in perfect harmony.

They were happy, they didn’t need you anymore but you still needed them. “Aren’t they great!” a fan screamed starting a conversation with you as she dances to their song. Hell, if only she knew.

You forced a small smile, nodding your head politely. “Pretty amazing, actually.” You replied, your eyes never leaving the stadium they were singing on.

“I wish I was friends with them!” The fan stroke up another conversation and you held back words. You were friends with them back then. With all of them. That all ruined the second Manon left. The second Sophia decided to come back into your life.

You wanted to say you used to be. That you would sit down with Yoonchae sometimes to teach her some english words while she taught you Korean, that you and Megan would play pranks on the rest with Lara. That you would ask Daniela to teach you some dance moves to impress Manon. And in times when you and Sophia were civil, you would move in the kitchen synchronised as if you were one, making the rest breakfast and coffee.

Most importantly, you wished you could tell the fan how Manon would play with your hair and whisper in your ear after she came home from practice, or how Sophia would take care of you when you’re sick, cancelling all her schedules for that day, even once missing an exam for you during the time you two had dated before she moved.

But all of that was stuck in your throat as you realised you didn’t just lose Manon and Sophia. You lost a family, a family you never truly cherished until it was gone.

Standing there, you watched them laugh and interact with fans, your eyes always finding either Sophia or Manon. “Yeah, I wish I was friends with them too.” You whispered softly and after a few songs, you left not noticing Sophia staring at your back until it disappeared, not realising Manon shoulders tense for a second as she caught your eye in the crowd for a few seconds. Daniela, Lara, Megan, and Yoonchae dragging them back to reality.