SHE WOLF ★ ☾

For as much as Fenrir had felt separate from most of witches and wizards, there was something just genuinely nice and not something he experienced often. At least not in this level of sincerity. It was different than what he’d usually experience. Different from what he’d usually like, but it was nice every once in a while. With the right sort of person.

As Katherine asked if she could tell him something, Fenrir just nodded silently. He knew he needed to be open with the pack. Agnes had ragged on him enough about that. At least with Agnes and Katherine it was easier than with anyone else. He listened, nodding lightly, his eyebrows knitting in slight as she continued. “More how?” as he asked, he knew that she didn’t have the answer. She said that she couldn’t figure it out. “More out in the world?” He didn’t specify what part of it. People. Adventure. Just having space. He couldn’t choose for her.

“Running around or climbing trees does help. I run every day until I’m tired.  Just to start off the day.” Fenrir had seemed to find that werewolves were the sort that were physical. It solved problems, but sometimes didn’t fix them. Fenrir shifted in slight, sighing and letting his head hang back for a moment. “I don’t know if the war helps or hurts it all.”

“ No, not more out in the world, ” Katherine responded with heavy sigh. “ The world is proving to be a dangerous place. I mean, look at us. We’re both a danger and in danger constantly. ” She scrunched her nose before continuing: “  I guess I just want to be a little more like you and Agnes. Purposeful. Maybe I should just find another job, except... that didn’t really end so well last time. Being fired isn’t great for morale, y’know. ” Kate finished with a twisted smile. She had to find the silver lining otherwise she feared she would completely lose it.

“ I certainly don’t think it helps anyone, ” she responded without missing a beat. “ Does it ever... hurt you at times? ” She hesitated for a moment, but the words quickly came up like word vomit. Katherine typically wouldn’t ask Fenrir such a thing, but he was the one who brought it up. He had to know she would take that kind of bait and run wild with it.

The chance of someone running away from this wasn’t just a small potential. The majority of those who turned did. They acted like it wasn’t even there. They tries to hide from it. Tried to push it down and pretend as if it wasn’t there. That want and need even at times was there for people. It was obvious now as she spoke, that it was there for Katherine as well. “I wasn’t. I had always wanted this. I feel more that way about being human than I do about being a werewolf.”

He was quiet for a moment, before continuing. “You’re not the only one that feels that way. I think most everyone does,” he said. He meant the pack of course, but he’d yet to meet another werewolf that was as passionate about it as he was. “Letting go during the full moon usually fixes that trapped in my own head feeling. If you’re worried about what you can do, then you’ve just got to get far enough away so you don’t have to worry and you can just let go.”

Katherine was silent for a long moment as she redirected her gaze toward the treetops. A piece of her was sad knowing that’s how Fenrir felt about being human, but she could relate to a certain degree. “ Being human is hard for me too, ” she confessed as she gently squeezed his arm. “ Can I tell you something? ” She turned back to him a little hesitantly: “ I don’t think I’ve ever been fully satisfied with being just human, or just a witch. I think that’s partially why I welcomed this change, but I still feel like I’m constantly going back and forth with myself. Don’t get me wrong. This is my home. You’re my family now--you, Agnes, Albert, Phoebus. I just feel like I should be doing more, but can’t figure out what. Maybe that’s the human part talking, though. ”

She’s the worst. Just very obnoxious, though if anyone asks officially, she’s a hoot. That’s my new word. Hoot. I love it. [ she shrugs ] She’s not a huge fan of me, which is fine by me. She doesn’t like when I talk about politics, because I run a show that talks about plants. She runs a gossip show, which apparently makes it fine for her to launch her political biases into the cosmos. But that’s not really happy, sorry. [ she nods ] Of course! I’m happy to help. [ she grins ] Depends on what you’re looking for. Can you give me some hints?

“ Oh, totally a hoot. In fact, probably the biggest hoot I know. ” Katherine interjected with a playful grin. “ It’s a fun word, I can understand why you feel that way about it. ” She continued before her smile finally faltered. “ To be frank, anyone who treats you unkindly definitely makes it on the top of my shit list. It’s not a long list either so hopefully that tells you something. ” 

“ Would you believe me if I said I was completely winging it? I’m not much of a planner, ” Kate admitted with a laugh. “ I have been inspired, though. Any ideas where we can find rose water and sheet metal? They aren’t exactly standard crafting supplies so I’ve been having some trouble. ”

“Everything sounds worse once you’ve spoken it aloud,” Contessina said, her tone soothing. “What can I do to make it better?” 

“ Do you have a timeturner? Can you go back fifteen minutes and somehow stop me? Please. ”

“Yeah, it does.” She puts a bowl of macaroni and cheese down in front of Katherine with perhaps a little more force than is strictly necessary. “Start talking.”

“ There was an incident, ” Katherine responds, her eyes teeter-tottering between Agnes and the bowl of food she placed in front of her before she desperately began shoveling large spoonful's in her mouth. “ And by incident, I mean melt down. I had a melt down and got into a physical altercation, I’d tell you to check out the other guy, but I think I am the other guy. Also--you should probably avoid my room for the indefinite future. It’s not safe. ”

Are you gonna’ be okay?

“ Honestly Remus, I ask myself that question daily. Physically? Yes. But mentally, I think I lost all those marbles a while ago. ”

“I can fix that up for you, if you’d like. It’s a very easy poultice that I could make just in a moment.”

“ Really? You wouldn’t mind? I’d be indebted to you. Last time I tried myself--let’s just say, I ended up making it worse. ”

He’d never been the bet with words. Fenrir was far better with acting on things than he was about saying things or working them out that way. Either someone got it or they didn’t. He gave up trying to make himself eloquent a long time ago and instead just did whatever he wanted.

“As long as it’s not running away,” he said, looking back towards her–not entirely sure they were talking about the same thing, but confident that it was close enough to hopefully make sense. “I just feel stronger. More ready. More wild, I guess. Like I could take on anything.” He frowned a bit at the explanation she gave him about she felt. “It’s part of you. Don’t be afraid of it.” She seemed willing to try, but she needed to give into it all. Something that didn’t come easy to most.