evil fizz

-> MORE INFO

like he's on and off with wanting it, but ultimately he does it to regain some sense of power and control for Once in his life. maybe not entirely consciously, but the thought that he could destroy ivan's life so easily and is choosing not to is invigorating. he can never do anything against urak, but he Could to ivan, and the fact he isn't is Something

there's always been something ethereal to me about being underwater and watching the sun filter through it. letting my lungs sting. light headed

it's not that i seriously want to die. especially not by drowning. but if i had to choose a painful death it would be that.

it was my most common nightmare when i was younger. the lake would take me.

i've always tried to be very critical of the incredibly common racism in fandom art spaces of making a character's skin tone dark when they're antagonistic but not changing the skin tone of the non-antagonistic characters. it was one of my biggest issues with one of my old fandoms. it's terrible, it's racist, and i know it makes brown and black fans uncomfortable.

all this is to say, i can't tell if urak's skin tone is literally a dark red or if he's brown, but regardless, it's the kind of design i would depict as brown [or, because of my colouring style, indeed dark red] when making him a normal human.

THE ISSUE BEING. "the frail pale boy's abusive rapist father is a dark brown man" simply does not sit with me well, however drawing him with a similar skin tone to till makes me feel like i'm whitewashing him.

THANK YOUUU HEHE.

hmmmm Good Question. ivan isn't open about it and he thinks he hides it well. i think to anyone that isn't close to him, this is true enough. to mizi, it's... very obvious, to an embarrassing degree. however, she thinks this is just a harmless celebrity crush and finds it cute.

she's unaware of his full on stalking and eventual... relationship of dubious consent. i mean, she might end up aware of their relationship, but not how uncertain till is about it all.

huuuuman uraaak this fuckin nasty man !!!!

as for ivan, he works at his family's company and keeps up a very neat ideal handsome man look. he doesn't genuinely have any care for fashion or looking nice beyond how it effects the way others view him. through his obsession with till, he learnt a lot about fashion, and he uses this to try and make himself appeal more to till in a "we're similar, right?" kind of way

TILL & URAK

urak is till's father and manager. he got till into modeling and a few acting gigs as a baby before till could even speak. they don't get along, till hates urak's guts. despite this they're an incredibly successful duo. till is a celebrity, and urak has a good PR team to handle his mess ups [as well as a fist and a dick]

URAK & IO

urak met io when she was roughly 16. he was enamored by her charm and thought she was the most beautiful person he's seen, helped by her demure behaviour. despite this... she was too old for him to fully mold and use as he wanted. instead he got closer to her, groomed her, and babytrapped her. all the abuse had fully isolated her from her previous family, leaving her with no one close except for urak and till.

TILL & IO

till doesn't get to see io often anymore. as a child, he was with her a lot, but as he got older urak let them be together less and less. she had Till a few months after her 18th birthday. Io wanted to resent Till, but she can't help how much she loves him and she mourns that she didn't have the strength to take him and run when he was still a young child.

she tries to do whatever she can to support till emotionally, always expecting till to hate her. maybe till wishes he could hate her too, but ultimately they both love each other more than anything. they're each other's only true comfort.

TILL & IVAN

ivan had been following till's career since they were both preteens. they'd crossed paths in public, and once ivan later saw him [on tv or on a tween magazine cover] he became fixated on him. he eventually convinced himself he was the only one who could tell how miserable till genuinely was. he read into every little thing he could, and feels till is the only person who could ever understand him back.

knowing they live in the same city, as they get older simply following till's career became stalking. finding him in person and watching or following him from a distance.

till starts to notice ivan. he doesn't know how to feel or anything. he doesn't recognise him from their one childhood interaction, of course.

their next true encounter was ivan breaking into till's studio apartment when he knew urak was busy and thus not 'bothering' till with anything

MINOR RELATIONSHIP RUNDOWNS;

hyuna is a senior in the same alternative sphere as till. he looks up to her.

ivan is close friends with mizi

mizi lives with sua. the two are closeted and in a relationship

unsha had ivan so he could have a heir to the family business

thank you ezra for giving me ideas for till's family !!