anpan janai, ANPANANPAN DA

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

8/10 but fuck, OW.

Thinking about 13 Latvias again

I need you all to know that I think about 13 Latvias so much that now every time I meet someone from Latvia I have to resist the urge to ask "which one"

In the Latviaverse this is just a normal map

proposing a new genre of fiction called an anti-romance where u r presented w a couple at the start & the story is about their emotional journey towards a catastrophic break up

will they won't they (end this farce). there's only one bed (but for some reason they don't really want to share it). out of context eavesdropping (that paints the relationship in a better light than it deserves). chasing after them to stop them getting on that plane (and stopping them from finally being free)

nobody understands my vision i don't mean any old story where a relationship fails and it's tragic or w/e i mean a story where the intention is for the audience to root for it failing the same way u root for it succeeding in a romance. & when the relationship finally implodes at the climax of the story it's all very cathartic & everybody cheers.

like have u never wanted a fictional couple to break up so badly it hurt?

This is not a new genre of fiction. You would like After the Winter by Guadalupe Nettel. That is literally what you're describing.

that's not a genre that's the plot of one book. maybe i want a vast array of feel good stories about relationships imploding like fireworks. maybe i want to be baited by a breakup in act one only for them to get back together for absurd & convoluted reasons. maybe i want to pick up a book and go "wow i wonder how many times the protagonist is going to get cheated on before they finally call it quits". maybe i want it to be a foregone conclusion that they're going to break up and this is considered a happy ending. maybe i want to root for love to lose time & time again.

thank you for coming to my this #mythis