25. Halfway to 50. A quarter of a century and I’m still no closer to where I thought adulthood would take me. I look around and see people who have a fully established idea of who they are, who and what they want to be and how to get there - yet here i am still trying to piece together all of the above. I literally have no clue what i am doing at any given time or why i am doing what i am doing. Maybe one day i will become a complete, fulfilled, fully functioning human like all of my facebook friends seem to be - but today is not that day. Today i am still a little bit disjointed. A couple of pieces missing. Scrambled even.

But i am learning that it’s okay to be a little bit lost. because the only person it really bothers is me. How narcissistic of me to assume that anyone else gives a shit about how i live my life but me. The only person who brings me down is me. It has taken me 25 years to realise that i am both the cause and the cure to all of my own problems and today i am going to relish in my insecurities. I’m a scrambled woman but so what? So what about anything? Why give time and energy to solving problems that only exist in my own mind? And here in lies the paradox, by not solving the problem, could i have solved the problem?