Sirius Orion Black

~~~~~~~

“Oh yes, I almost forgot that extreme obsessive compulsive streak,” Remus said, his lips perking up in a small kind of smirk.  He’d always been a tad on the organized chaos side himself, though he would insist to everyone that he actually knew where everything was, thank you very much.  "It’ll probably take me weeks to figure out where you’ve put everything, just like old times.“

He felt the smile on his face grow infinitely more fond as Sirius leaned against his shoulder, and felt another one of those small tight pangs in his chest when he saw the way Sirius was looking at him, that soft sort of way that always left Remus feeling a little torn. "Oh stop, save the puppy dog eyes for people that can actually do something about it,” he huffed, though he was still smiling as he did it, shaking his head.  "You’re going to find a way to rule the world with those things before too much longer, put them away.“

Remus hummed and took his half of the breadstick.  "You’re also just contributing to that ass you’re so fond of getting just a little bigger too, so cheers,” he said raising his breadstick before taking a bite.  "Anyway, I think we’ll both find that statement is not entirely true, but you said I had a nice ass, so I’ll let it slide.  Far too few people complimenting my ass these days.  I’m slipping.“  He wrinkled his nose gently in thought and hummed.  "Something fun with a side of violence and too much swearing.  Like a good rich Tarantino or a Guy Richie.”  Maybe it was getting a little too close to the moon, since Remus found his tastes gearing a little harder when the moon started to get fuller and fuller.  The thought made him shiver, but he did his best to hide it.

“You can always call me for help,” he said with an apologetic smile. He had a bad habit of organizing, he was just glad that Remus really didn’t seem to hold it against him.  Sirius laughed at Remus’s comment on his eyes, his laugh only becoming louder as he said Sirius was clearly contributing to his ass. “I’m doing the people’s work, Moony,” he said with a wink. “Having a furry little problem isn’t the only reason you earned that nickname, we’ve all seen your bare ass and we appreciate it.” “How about The Man from U.N.C.L.E.? That might be nice,” he said as he rested his arm behind Remus’s shoulders, using his other hand to eat his food. “Don’t tell Marlene, but the girl in the movie reminds me of her because she’s so short.”

Something about Sirius’s voice was soothing to Rita. No mater what words were coming out of his mouth, his words flowed smoothly.

However, in that moment, his words weren’t soothing.

In mid drink, Rita snorted, causing herself to choke on her tea. She set her mug down and placed her hand over her mouth, catching herself. “Hm, sorry.” She said in a gravely voice as she composed herself.

“I always thought it was going to be me who settled down first, between the two of us.” She smiled, winking at him. “Oh, I don’t know when, I guess I’ve just been to focused on The Phoenix.” She shrugged, “You know how important my work is.”

She took another drink, studying Sirius’s features. Her feelings for him never subsided after their breakup. Deep down, Rita had a feeling he was going to come back to her; though with Severus’s confirming and Sirius her sitting in front of her boasting about his future with Marlene, she had a feeling that her dream was going to derail. Setting her drink down again and changing her position in her chair, she looked down at the stack of papers next to her and sighed.

“I guess, I just haven’t found the right man yet.” She looked back up at him, staring into his grey eyes, smiling.

“You alright?” he asked as she choked, but no sooner had she asked that she composed herself and he chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it’s strange, huh? I didn’t think I’d settle but with Marls... Everything just... Fit right, it just... Makes sense.” It was still hard to believe at all that this was his life. Being with Marlene was always a strange faraway dream he kept secret, and yet, here they were. He might as well be a married man by now. Maybe he had been for years now. “I hope you do, Rita. If anyone deserves it, it’s you, you’re... Well... Wonderful,” Sirius said sincerely, a soft smile on his lips. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he wasn’t getting too caught up in the total desolation that was his life, Remus managed to marvel at the fact that he’d managed to have people in his life at all.  And particularly those like Sirius, who cared so much for him. He’d been cared for before, of course, his mother had practically been a saint, but Remus also, in his more uncharitable times, felt that part of it was just a mother’s instinct and had something to do with the fact that he’d more or less been a sick child and not for any particular reason other than that.  

But Sirius Black was perhaps the last person on earth that should care about him, given their respective upbringings and what should have been clashing personalities, and yet, here he was, at the end of it all, when it felt like no one was left.  He steadfastly refused to let Remus waste away when that was honestly all Remus wanted to do.

“Har har, good one, Padfoot,” he managed, hearing the ‘howl’ comment as he flipped on the tap, shaking his head. It warmed his heart almost as much as the usual teasing (that seemed an awful lot like flirting to one Remus J. Lupin) bought a bit of a sting to the whole thing.  But it was a familiar sting, one that he almost welcomed.  Sometimes Remus willed Sirius to not care so much, to just take a few steps back so Remus might get some kind of closure on this now decade long infatuation, but that didn’t seem to be in the cards for him at all.  A part of him though, almost loved that little itch of heartache at the core of it all.  It was familiar.  A sort of home he’d built for himself in his heart that remained after every other part of himself felt like it had been ripped away.

Still, he didn’t let his musings get too dark, concentrating on the steaming hot water and the fact that yes, he had been rather ripe.  When he got out he was only a little surprised to see that Sirius had been cleaning, and sighed.  He finished drying his hair and threw his towel at Sirius.  "I know I’m basically an invalid, but I promise I could have done that,“ he said, glancing at Sirius archly while he fished out a clean pair of boxers and pulling them on.  "Though I can’t say I hate seeing you be the doting housewife.  It suits you.”

Remus let out a bit of a sigh as he sank down to the couch beside Sirius a moment later, reaching for one of the take out boxes and tucking himself gently against Sirius’s shoulder.  "Thanks,“ he said finally, softly and almost bashfully.  It was a little embarrassing that he needed this level of care on the bad days, but that didn’t wash away how grateful he was either.  "It…I was…well.  You know,” he finished vaguely, waving his hand a little.  "I could wax poetical about how I don’t deserve the attention, but I’ll refrain and instead ask you to stop molesting that garlic bread unless you plan on sharing it.“

“I needed something to do, you know I can’t help but clean it,” he said with a chuckle. And it was true, Sirius had always been the most organized out of the Marauders, needing everything in an exact spot and freaking out if it wasn’t. Even in their room inside Hogwarts, he needed to keep all their things clean and organized. It was a pain in the ass sometimes, but old Pureblood habits died hard. He especially liked doing it when it was for someone he cared for, and he cared for Remus more than most. 

“Any time, Moony,” he said, pushing his shoulder against Remus’s playfully, looking at his friend softly. He knew he’d never be able to convince Remus of how wonderful he was, that what he had was just like any other illness, and if anything, one that had made them all come together, but he hoped that at the very least he could add to the list of good things Remus counted on his bad days. Taking care of him was a privilege that Sirius took pride in. 

“Oh, no, I’m here purely for selfish reasons, like your nice smile, and ass,” he said with a chuckle, breaking the garlic bread in two and offering him half. “Anything of mine is yours, Moony, you know that, all you have to do is ask,” he said with a wink before he leaned forward and picked up another take out box and opened it, starting to eat the chicken alfredo pasta inside. “What would you like to watch?” he asked, grabbing the controller to try and find something worth watching.

fierylily-evans‌:

A heavy sigh escaped her at Marlene’s answer, and if Lily could facepalm she would. With a flick of her wrist, she got the kettle boiling, knowing that everyone could use a cup of tea eventually here. “I would agree with you, if he wasn’t under the protection of Bellatrix and Andromeda. They have connections too, Marls. It’s unlikely, but it could happen,” she answered calmly. 

“We don’t have to worry about Severus. If I need to, I’ll talk with him,” she murmured, knowing that she and Severus could likely come to a different agreement. “There’s also that. Bellatrix could come for your professional career, a restraining order, and add it to your record,” she agreed. It looked bad for the Order and for her professional career as well. Lily gave a tired sigh as she got up to get mugs down and started pouring the water, setting her own tea to seep. “I get why you did it. Would have been better if it hadn’t been publicly, but I get it,” she replied.

Marlene rolled her head back on the wall and gave a heavy sigh as she listened to both of them speak. She hated to admit it, but they were right. This could have further reaching consequences than just spending a night in a cell. And while Peter was a coward, Bellatrix certainly wasn’t.

“Look if I could go back, I wouldn’t do it publicly. I just… in the heat of the moment all I wanted was to make him suffer for selling James out. I didn’t mean for it look bad on the Order.” she said, exasperated, looking to Lily, and then to Sirius. “Whatever happens, I can handle it.”

@shameless-siriusly​ @fierylily-evans​

“First of all, McKinnon, you should know better than anyone that you can’t just do whatever the fuck you want because of the heat of the moment,” he said stepping up to her, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “Stop acting like a rebellious child, you’re not only a Ministry worker but also part of the Order, so get your shit together. I don’t give a fuck why you did it, or that it was justified, or this or that. Do this sort of crap again, and you’ll be in probation inside the order for not being able to control your goddammed emotions. This isn’t Hogwarts anymore, this is War, so grow up.” “It’s not if you can handle it, it’s a we—Like it or not, what you do affects us, all of us. So stop acting so selfish, we all lost James. You don’t get a free pass,” he hissed at her. “We’ll think of a plan, but we’ve got enough shit to also clean up your messes, Marlene.”

One of the things she loved about sharing her flat with Regulus and Rabastan was that they could have family over at any given time. It was a neutral space to some degree, and that was comforting. Sirius had become a part of her family as quickly as Reg had, and having this time was something she truly appreciated. With a soft squeeze she let go and gave a hum, “I’m glad to hear it, though I very much agree with that sentiment. If only we didn’t all have day jobs,” she teased. Shaking her head, she answered, “In a bit I’ll have you get the noodles boiling, but for the time being I’m just breading the chicken so it can bake. Actually, if you want to grate some parmesan cheese that would be great.” 

As she started setting the breaded chicken in a pan, she contemplated how best to share her news. Sometimes, it was easier to just be direct about these matters, and she knew Sirius wouldn’t mind a more straightforward approach, “So there’s been a new development in my family history,” she started, turning to him with a softer look, she asked, “What do you know of Emmeline Vance?”

“I can do that,” he said, moving to grate some parmesan as she spoke. He could see something was going through her mind, so he waited until she spoke and then hummed in his own thoughts. “She’s in the Order, right? She’s... Clever. Has good ideas. I don’t know her well, though, why?” he asked, looking sideways at her and raising an eyebrow.

“I know. Family over everything,” she mused. It was important to her that they knew how grateful she was for their help over the last few weeks, but deep down she knew they did. “It would be, though let’s not find ourself in that position anytime soon, yeah?” she murmured, giving him a soft smile. Lily couldn’t handle another loss, let alone another major one. “That’s exciting! A bigger one? Maybe one with a yard and big enough for new family members?” she teased, giving him a wink. Lily and James had discussed trying for kids after they were married, despite leading a war, and she was glad they had waited. Lily didn’t want to end up doing it alone, or at least without him. 

Giving an almost helpless shrug, she answered, “I know it’s different but I - I don’t want make anyone else’s grief feel less?” Lily had never been good at sharing her issues with others, especially not when she thought someone else might be in a worse position or dealing with their own emotions. However, Sirius had allowed her to be there for him when he’d broken down, which was why she sunk against the counter slightly, letting the full effect of her exhaustion show. “It didn’t hit me until I bought a house. It’s mine, not ours, and that feels - as right as it can given the circumstances, but wrong all the same,” she whispered. Lily put her head against him and nodded, “I know you do. But yes, first food, and then everything else,” she agreed, taking her plate and heading towards the couch to curl up. 

Sirius chuckled, rolling his eyes, feeling his ears heat up at the suggestion. “I think Marlene would quite literally kill me if I knocked her up, Lily,” he said with a chuckle. “Though it is something I want, I don’t... Know, her job is risky, my job is risky, and we do have one dog and maybe two soon. Let’s maybe get past this year first, hm?” he teased.  Sirius kissed the top of her head before she left, taking his own plate and sitting beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders and caressing her arm. There was nothing to be said. James would always be there with them, good and bad. 

Marlene tutted and shook her head. “You’re terrible, Sirius Black” she teased, humming as he kissed her shoulder. There was a lightness and easiness to being with Sirius, that stripped away her harsh and rough edges. And she couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he kissed her. “Right, right.” she said, as she pulled away “Well, you still have to propose, Mr. Black.”

As chaos broke out at her painstakingly planned party, Andromeda couldn’t even be bothered to spare a thought for the fact that the event was ruined or that her family home was being trashed. Her only thoughts were directed to Bellatrix, her mother, and Ted. She saw Bella across the room, near the capable hands of Severus, but it occurred to Andromeda that it had been a little while since she had last caught sight of Ted. 

As the rest of the guests began to move frantically for the exit, Andromeda turned the other way, heading upstairs to make sure that Druella and Ted weren’t up there. She choked on a pillar of smoke in the hallway, her mind dimly registering that there must be a fire. Despite the danger, she pushed forward, desperate to find her fiance. 

“TED!” She yelled, coughing on the black ash that floated through the air, her wand still tucked into her dress, not even thinking about using magic. She had a horrible feeling in her stomach about her beloved, and she had to find him. 

Andromeda was blind to her surroundings, blind to anything but the fear and grief coiling in her stomach and rushing down her cheeks in the form of tears. She had to find Ted. She had to find Ted. She screamed his name again, over and over, desperate to hear his voice call back, desperate to know that he was safe. 

Andromeda fought back as someone grabbed her around the waist and pulled her, still clawing to move forward and find Ted. She didn’t even notice that a pillar crashed where she had just been standing, her eyes still blurred by tears and her throat raw from screaming and from the smoke. 

Sirius’ voice broke through into her awareness, and her gaze slid into focus on the mask he was wearing, but she still continued to fight against him as he pushed her toward the exit. “No!” She screamed, fighting to get free and keep looking for Ted. “Ted!” Finally breaking free, she ran in the direction where the fire lapped, entering Ted’s room. “Ted!” 

There was no one there, and Andromeda knew in her heart that she wouldn’t find him. An eye for an eye. They had taken him, just as surely as she had taken James from them. She couldn’t tell you how she knew it, but she did. Turning around, Andromeda realized with panic that fire blocked her exit. “Sirius!” She screamed, choking again on the smoke in the air as the fire lapped even closer to her, keeping her stuck.

“Shit,” Sirius hissed, watching as Andromeda ran off, running after her. He felt his fingers nearly grasping her skirts before she was running into a new room and the doorframe snapped and crumbled sealing Andromeda’s only exit, and Sirius’s chance to get to her.  Panic rose in his chest, more curses leaving his lips as he tried to think of a way to get to her. Then, she screamed his name, and he knew he had to do anything to save her. She was family, she was... She once was everything to him. He couldn’t let her die in a fire.  “STEP BACK!” he yelled through the fire, waiting a second to let her move out of the way before he aimed his wand and yelled, “BOMBARDA!” In a second, any debris and fire was blown away and he ran in, picking up Andy in his arms before he ran out, pushing past fire and broken things alike until he was outside of the house.  “Andy, Andy, look at me, are you alright?” he asked, setting her down and looking over her. A lot of soot, but no burns, she would be fine. “Breathe in and out.”

Rita smiled softly at his joke. She always saw him as ‘a bad boy’ and she was very by the book. They were two very different people, yet they were the same in some ways. She studied his face like she had laying in bed next to him on a stormy night. She loved everything about him - his scars, his imperfections…the fact that he was considered the family shame. She missed seeing his smile everyday and in a blink of an eye, it was gone. Rita wanted to just hop over her desk and hug him. He was so broken and sad and she can see it on his face as he spoke James’s name. She gave him a sad, yet hopeful smile as she chewed on her cheek as he continued to speak. She spun quickly in her chair as he spoke about his future plans. 

She moved incredibly quickly over to the counter where Sybill left fresh pot of water on for tea. We? Marls? Rita mouthed to herself as she poured his tea. How did he just move on? Rita’s knots in her stomach grew tighter, the lump in her throat was hard like a rock, she had tears growing in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see her fall apart. Not as easily. She took a deep breath, shut her eyes and exhaled before turning around. Her hands were flat against the cold counter, her head hung on her shoulders. “A puppy, huh?” She asked softly. Trying to avoid everything to do with Marlene. Her hands shook as she picked up the tray. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and closed her eyes before she walked back to her desk. She laid the tray down gently and sat down. 

Rita shifted in her seat, placing her right leg over her left. She chewed desperately on the inside of her cheek trying to think of other words than “I still bloody love you.” She took a drink of her tea. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing well, Sirius.” She gave him a staggered smile. “I’m happy things have been going…” She paused looking at his stone cold eyes. “I’m happy things have been going really well for you.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said as she served the tea, taking a sip of it before chuckling at her question of the puppy. “Yeah, we’ve... Well, I’ve wanted one for a long time, and since we’re moving to a bigger house, I thought it’d be a good time to, you know?” he said with a shrug. He’d missed having Rita as a friend, she was easy to talk to and he needed that.  “I’m glad too, all in all, it’s going well,” he said with a soft smile. He really was lucky that he still had so many people around him. James had left a hole in his chest larger than anything else, but he was working on slowly mending it. “I’m glad they’ve gone well for you too. Though clearly only one of us has settled down, who knew the day would come when I’d happily say I live with my girlfriend and we’re buying a house together,” he laughed, still unable to believe he’d come so far. “When are you going to get a boyfriend huh? You know any man would be lucky.”

Kingsley looked up at the sound of footsteps, nodding as he realized it was Sirius who was approaching. Though Sirius wouldn’t be involved in the interrogation, it made sense that he was part of the group in the loop, and Kingsley would have trusted him with every part of the Order. This was Sirius’ family, and he knew that Sirius took that responsibility seriously, no pun intended. 

“I think everyone who’s supposed to be here is back,” he said with a nod. “Mary’s upstairs keeping prying eyes from discovering anything, and Marlene and Molly are off somewhere, not together.” 

“That’s good,” Sirius said with a nod and a sigh. He didn’t necessarily like this but he agreed that it was what they had to do. For James. He trusted Lily’s leadership, as well as Kingsley’s. “Any luck? Has he woken up at all? How are you holding up?”

fierylily-evans‌:

Lily was already thinking through where she was going to hide while they worked through their domestic. It was a tame way of describing what would likely transpire between them. Still, Lily would step out and give them some space as soon as the lecturing was over. She figured she ought to stick around for that, especially given that she had her own peace to say about the matter, even if she wasn’t likely to be quite as harsh as Sirius would be. 

“I’ll second that,” she murmured, before taking up the space behind them both. Lily followed them out of the ministry until they could apparate back to the flat. Once they were home, Lily made her way into the living room and dropped down on the couch. “Did they say if he dropped charges or not?” she asked, looking at Marlene. “You’re tough, Marls, but even you wouldn’t do well in Azkaban. If he’s going to press, we need to have a game plan to handle it,” she offered.

Marlene sighed when Sirius moved away, following after him and Lily until they were out of the Ministry and apparating back to the flat. She landed back in her bedroom, grabbing the nearest shirt she had and changing out of her blood stained one as she stepped out. It wasn’t as if she particularly cared whether Lily or Sirius saw her naked. 

“No, he wasn’t conscious enough for them to ask.” Marlene answered flatly, chucking her bloody shirt in the laundry and slipping on the other as she re-entered the living room. “Besides, I’m not going to Azkaban for anything short of killing him. The conviction wouldn’t hold.” she said as she leaned back on the wall, arms crossed “He’s too much of a fucking coward to do anything.”

@shameless-siriusly​ @fierylily-evans​

Sirius was still seething, leaning on a wall as Marlene changed, willing himself not to look anywhere but her face. He heard Lily talk and Marlene answer, huffing a humorless chuckle from his nose.  “You forget you have a record, and it doesn’t look good for you in a professional sense nor with the Order,” he said, his stone calmer but just as harsh and stern. “Peter might be a coward, but he’s with Bellatrix and with Severus both which have their claws in the Ministry. Azkaban might not be what they push for, but a restraining order and suspension from work are all possibilities if they do push for anything. You’re better than this, better than being volatile and attacking publicly.”

This was what depression was like, Remus was wholly and completely sure.  He had felt it before of course- spent a very many number of days laying about in his mother’s bed, musing at how utterly and completely he’d destroyed his family by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But it was almost completely unlike that now- with James gone, with Peter essentially gone, his mother’s death what seemed so quickly on the heels of everything else…  More than any other time in his storied history had the world felt more dark.  Dark with the brightness of grief and despair as if every day was an endless full moon.  Ripping himself apart physically really had nothing on this.

Remus canted his head up again slightly, his eyes clouded for a moment, something like tears catching there before he blinked them away.  There was some manner of sun outside the window, lowish, perhaps late afternoon.  But looking over to see the clock seemed a bit a bridge too far at the moment.  Moving at all seemed like too much effort.  He though, almost idly, of his mother, her last few days, wasting away in bed much like he felt like he was now.  And how much she’d hoped for the end before it came.  Was it like this?  Was this the kind of lazy despair she felt, just waiting for the inevitable?

Such contemplations could have gone on for much, much longer, probably until the glare of the sun went down and then he may have ventured out for food (or more likely alcohol) until the whole process started over.  But it was very soon apparent that was not likely to be, because he heard the door scraping open and there were a very small number of people who it could be, and one that it distinctly was, since there was a bit of smell of wet dog hanging in the air.  The worst part about it was how instantly comforting it was, and how a part of his chest just relaxed almost instantly, and he hadn’t even realized how tight it had been a moment before.   It was such a pull of love and need and sorrow and how he was generally unworthy of all of it.

“Pads, I appreciate you visiting, truly I do, but I do not have the disposition today, so if you would, ever so kindly, fuck off, I can get back to counting the spiders in my rafters in peace,” he said dryly, only letting his eyes drift to Sirius at the last moment, knowing they still had to be slightly bloodshot and wet and annoyingly obvious.  And there Sirius was, looking as beautiful as he usually did and it was just another infuriating thing that he wanted to avoid.  He sighed and managed a bit of a smile.  "And since I know you won’t, what exactly are you going to force me to do today?  I’m very much in a brooding and despair kind of mood, but I doubt that will fly today.“

( @shameless-siriusly​)

Four days was about as long as Sirius managed to leave Remus alone. It was a mix of worry and longing and impatience that didn’t allow him to have more time without seeing Remus, especially considering the current state of things. They were the only two left, and he’d be damned if he let them break apart when everything else already felt so... well, broken. Not to mention he enjoyed Remus’s company, obviously, since the two had been friends since they’d met. Well, Sirius had been Remus’s friend since they met, it took some convincing on Remus’s side to accept Sirius and James weren’t going anywhere. He supposed, that much hadn’t changed. He still felt sometimes like he was pushing Remus to be his friend, but he didn’t mind, he knew deep down Remus appreciated it. Or at least he hoped so.

Finally arriving to where Remus had decided to hole up, Sirius unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open, not wanting to wake Remus. However, a few steps inside and he could hear him shifting on the bed, and Sirius followed the sound until he found Remus looking worse for wear. 

“I’m not that bad, it’s not like I’ll ask you to run a marathon with me,” he said rolling his eyes before holding up some take out from three different restaurants—asian, Italian, and Mexican. Whatever they didn’t eat would be leftovers for Remus, since Sirius assumed he wasn’t really cooking himself full meals. “I bring gifts, so don’t you dare look at me like you’re nothing more than thrilled to see me,” he said sitting down on the bed beside Remus, ruffling the other man’s hair. “So come on, butt out of bed, onto the sofa, and maybe,” he sniffed, making a face at Remus, “A shower, Moony, because I think you smell more like dog than I do.”