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It’s been a while since I’ve written, but this morning I woke up with that familiar heaviness. That unexplained sadness that comes and goes without warning. If you’re someone who suffers from high-functioning depression, you know what I mean. You get up, you push through, you accomplish things—but inside, there’s a quiet battle happening.

I created this blog, ShamekaWithOneE, for us. For the ones who smile on the outside, but often grieve in silence. And today, I want to share a few things that have been helping me lately—simple hobbies that have truly made a difference on my hard days.

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Indoor Planting: Watching Life Grow

One of the most powerful things I’ve done for my mental health has been bringing plants into my home. There’s something deeply healing about watching something grow—something you’re nurturing, watering, and taking care of. You don’t have to be an expert either. I’m still learning, and yet, I’m developing a green thumb I never thought I had.

Waking up and seeing my plants bloom gives me something to look forward to. It’s such a small thing, but it reminds me that life continues—even when it feels like I’m stuck. The colors, the progress, the little changes each day…it’s all so gratifying.

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Gardening: From Seeds to Miracles

Last year, someone helped me put down vegetables in the garden. This year, I did it all by myself. I planted cucumbers, lettuce, broccoli, spinach, tomatoes—even flowers. I learned how to start from seed, and let me tell you—watching vegetables grow is nothing short of a miracle.

When I’m outside with my hands in the soil, I’m not thinking about the things that make me sad. I’m present. I’m hopeful. I feel connected to something bigger. And if you have the space, I truly recommend gardening as a way to find peace and purpose.

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Art & Painting: My Therapy Gate

Another thing that’s helped me escape the sadness is painting. Right now, I’m working on a mural on my gate outside, right in front of the garden. It’s a big project—it might take a while—but it’s so therapeutic.

Today, I wasn’t in the best spirit when I woke up. That wave of depression was hovering. But I went outside, turned on some music, caught a breeze, and started painting. With each stroke, I felt lighter. That’s what art does—it takes the weight off, even if just for a little while.

I also keep a collection of Black art coloring books. Sometimes I’ll sit down with markers and crayons like I’m a kid again, and just color. No expectations, just expression. That, too, has been incredibly healing.

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Stepping Outside My Mind

What I’ve realized is this: on the days when I’m grieving and I don’t even know why, I have to do something. I have to step outside my mind. Whether that’s planting, painting, or just reminding myself of the good in my life, I do whatever I can to not sit in the sadness too long.

Some things are out of our control. Some feelings are heavy and unexplainable. But I’ve learned to give those to God, and focus on the blessings I can see. The little joys. The growth. The colors. The creations.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, I hope you’ll try something—anything—that brings you peace. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just something you’ve always wanted to do. Something that helps you detox from the storm inside. You deserve that kind of peace, too.

Anxiety attacks aren't just moments of stress-they're full-body experiences that demand attention whether I want to give it or not. For me, it starts with brain fog, that frustrating disconnect where my thoughts feel like they're moving through quicksand. Then comes the fatigue, the kind that makes even the simplest tasks feel impossible. My hands shake, my head pounds, and an overwhelming sense of weakness sets in. That's when I know: it's time to stop.

Stop thinking.

Stop working.

Stop pushing through.

It doesn't matter if I'm in the middle of housework, school assignments, or anything else when my body waves the red flag, I have no choice but to listen. And honestly? Learning to pause has been one of the hardest lessons. I've spent so much time believing that productivity equals worth, that slowing down felt like failure. But that couldn't be further from the truth.

This is an ongoing struggle, but I share it because I know I'm not alone. Anxiety is real. The physical symptoms are real. And so is the need for rest, self-care, and support. If you're dealing with this, I encourage you to listen to your body and seek help when you need it. And trust me I'm taking my own advice.

Well, I am no expert gardener. However, I can give you a few helpful tips. This past summer, I learned about growing vegetables, specifically Tomatoes, Romain Lettuce, Collard Greens, Peppers, Callaloo, and Cannabis. Each of these vegetables has its own unique way of growing. Yet, some grow slower than others, depending on the soil or how soon you start to prepare the soil. In most cases, the sooner, the better.

The tomato has most certainly dominated the entire garden. I grew the larger tomatoes so their leaves grew wild and free. My advice to anyone growing large tomatoes—if you have the space—is to grow them in their own separate space in your garden, away from the other veggies.

Collard greens are one of my favorite veggies to grow—and one of my favorite foods, too, but that's another blog. Collards grow fast and easily. When picking them, be sure to pick the leaves alone. Do not take the stem or the root out of the soil. Luckily, when the greens are picked properly, you will start to see the new leaves growing within 1 or 2 days.

Not so much with Callaloo; it's kind of the baby. Who needs much attention, and not to be outstaged or over crowded. But, if they have their space and attention. They too can grow once picked properly, the next 1 to 2 days.

As for Romaine Lettuce, they grow pretty face and pretty. Do not plant more than you eat. Otherwise, they may spoil quickly if they are not picked up quickly.

Peppers grow slowly. It would be best to plant them early, as soon as the weather permits, so that you can give them a great deal of time to grow. I live in New York, so we only get a good three months to grow our own veggies. And we have been known to have snow in April, so it's harder for New Yorkers to plant in April.

Last but not least, Cannabis grows fast and efficiently. And like the gangster it is, it does not need to be babysat. Just water daily, and let it be. Cannabis grows well, even in New York's inconsistent weather.

i've started a Support Group for those who are struggling with depression called, "By the Time You Read This", on Facebook. The mission of this group is to provide encouragement to those who may be struggling in silence from depression.

Many people struggle in silence with depression. Depression has no identity, and no one is exempt from having these feelings. Understanding just how these feelings can cause so much pain to others, has been the driving force behind why I wanted to create a safe space, for those who may want to share those thoughts.

Please understand,, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and you are loved. Be sure to find, "By the time you read this", support group on Facebook, and let's collectively, work towards a better, brighter, more hopeful future.

One of God's greatest creations - aside from women, that is - is cats. If you are a Cat lover, but unfortunately, your allergies will not allow you to enjoy your furry best friend. Here are a few great tips, I think will be beneficial to you.

First, you may be happy to know, that more often than not. You may not be allergic to your cat at all. You may just be triggered by their cat dander. You are not alone in this struggle. Many people automatically assume that they are allergic to their Cats. Truth is, that is not always the case. Unfortunately, Cats have a chemical that is produced from their saliva, called Fel d 1, which partners with Fel d 4 and is transported onto Cat's fur when they are grooming themselves. And you're probably wondering, how can you lessen the allergies produced by your best friend. Today is your lucky day. I am here to tell you, 8 simple ways to co-exist with your furry BFF.

Here's how.

Groom

Change their food to Pro-Plan (Live Clear) to reduce dander.

Dust your home often

Wash Linens

Vacuum

Clean Litter Box Daily

No Pets Allowed (in one room).

Place Cat covers over furniture.

Aside from these routine treatments, you can also consult with your doctor and consider taking an allergy test to see what you may be allergic to. As well as taking medicines that help with your allergies.

These easy-to-do steps can significantly help to reduce your allergies that are triggered by your best friend's dander. This will allow you to efficiently, be able to continue to be bossed around, by an always-hungry, never-want-to-give-kisses, bossy best friend. Hope this help you to get started in a healthy direction, to keep your furry family around.

Learn more about cat allergies

References

It has been a few days since my last post. And since I have been away, I have learned something new, that I thought could be beneficial to all of you. So, we have something called, "Inner thoughts", which means our daily internal monologues that we use each day. According to an article written on the American Psychological Associations website, titled, "Speaking of Psychology: Inner monologues, with Ethan Kross, Ph.D, 2020, Dr. Kross explains that everyone has inner thoughts, as he provides varies examples on how individuals, use their inner thoughts daily. Dr. Kross, further explained that our inner thoughts have different effects on everyone depending on how deep those thoughts are. ("Apa.org," 2020).

What have I discovered about myself in relation to those unwanted intrusive - non-relevant - thoughts? Well, I have learned, simply, to ignore them, and get right back on with my life as I know it. And, as much as I know that this is easier said than done. I still encourage you to do the same. Respectfully. For example, when we have financial obligations, such as mortgages, rent, car notes, student loans, medical bills, insurance, or just any bills entirely. We usually go into assuming the worst outcome possible. Yet, in most cases, the worst never ever happens.

Lately, I have found it to be completely helpful when I get out and be active. For me, this has worked tremendously. I read an article on the Anxiety & Depression Association of America website titled, "Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts", by Dr. Self and Dr. Winston, 2018, who provided helpful information on what intrusive thoughts are, but also, how they are not always accurate, and often is an exaggeration to the truth about, who, what, where and when things are going to happen to us in life. Self, Martin. PH. D & Winston, S. PsyD. (2018).

The good news, however, is that you are not alone. In layman's term, its simply, just being an overthinker. Yet, being an over-thinker causes more harm than good. And in my opinion, most of the time, we can be wrong about the things we think about. I threw, "we” in there because I am no different from all of you. I am too an over-thinker.

In summary, quit over thinking. Just stop! Get up, get active, and refrain from causing yourself unnecessary anxiety and depression. Stay in the "present", do not worry about, how you will die, how you will pay this bill, or that one, or any other intrusive thoughts, that is the farthest thing from the truth. As my mom always says, "tell Satan, to get behind you", and keep pushing. Please, remember, what we go through, we usually, get through.

Self, M. Ph.D. ABPP., Winston, S. PsyD. (2018, April 26). Unwanted and Intrusive Thoughts. Anxiety and Depression Association of America; Triumphing Through Science, Treatment and Education. ADAA Conference.

American Psychological Association. (2020). Speaking of Psychology: Inner monologues, with Ethan Kross, PhD.

Okay, first off. Let me be completely transparent. Whenever I come to provide a daily dose, of coping with depression mechanisms. I begin writing, and immediately lose my thoughts on the issue. So, let me just freelance and not overthink anything.

Last night, I was feeling that dreadful feeling of depression. And, I said, I refused to allow my thoughts to control my mood. I went to Family Dollar, grabbed a few arts and crafts, and started to create some picture frames for my graduation photos.

Now, let me say this. I immediately forgot that I was feeling a little down. I was able to get back to some more positive thoughts. And begin to refrain from overthinking, either about things that have not happened- never will - or about the past. I noticed that, hey, this might be a new thing to do. The point I am making here, well, two things. One thing is that I found that drawing, arts, and crafts, is a great coping mechanism. But, also, I wanted to encourage you to stay connected. Call a friend, go walking, or to the gym. As in my case, I decided to doodle, and make picture frames. However, stay connected to reality. What I have discovered is that my depression is solely from over thinking. But, being around others, or focusing on other things, has helped me tremendously. This may help you too.

In an article, titled, "Coping with Depression", Smith, M. M.A. et al. (n.d), on the website, Help Guide. Org, provided information, and resources on why it is important to take part in activities, and stay connected with trusted friends and family. As the article further explains, learning how to cope with depression can help get you started on a healing journey, which you may have once thought was impossible. Smith, Lawrence, et al. (n.d).

I want you also to understand that you are not alone on this journey. I am here with you, and countless others are too. However, I want to encourage you to keep fighting your thoughts. Flood your mind with positivity, and reassurance of just how important you are in this world.

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression and is looking for help. Click Here.

Smith, M. M.A., Robinson, L., Segal, J. PH.D. (n.d). Coping with Depression. HealthGuide. org. Mental Health.

The first thing many of us do, as soon as we open our eyes in the mornings, is log on to our social media accounts to see what is happening. Unfortunately, we are then bombarded with the appearance of wealthy, happy, successful people all around us. They are always on vacation, showing off beautiful homes, nice, amazing bodies, the best relationships - friends included - down, to the perfect teeth. And, if you were already waking up to a cloud over your head, those things will surely place you in a deeper spiral of depression.

The reality though, is that there are a bunch of sad and lonely people, with happy pictures. Social media is fake. When you look at all the celebrities, who you would assume had it all, from the late Chesley Kryst, Robin Williams, Stuart Adamson, and Fashion Mogul Alexander McQueen, to name a few, all who died due to suicide. You can never judge a book by its cover, and not nobody’s social media performance and appearance.

My advice on coping with social media, is to take some much-needed space, from it. Do not look at anyone else's life and compare it to your own. Life does not work like that, and you will never know when your big break will happen. Be grateful for the things in front of you and try to stay in the present. Look at what you have accomplished in your life and give thanks.

Being an adult, we often forget to do the things we’ve once enjoyed, prior to becoming an adult. Primarily because most of us have busy lives, and well let’s be frank. Bills are not going to pay themselves. Perhaps we may even assume that hobbies may simply take up most of our leisure time.

However, just like anything else we chose to prioritize in our lives. We must also learn to do the same regarding our mental health. Did you know that having a hobby can reduce anxiety, loneliness, and depression? In an article titled "The science behind why hobbies can improve our mental health”, written on the website called, The Conversation, 2021, The articled, suggested that research has shown that having a hobby reduces stress and can help to prevent depression. The article further addresses the fact that losing interest in the things that you’ve once enjoyed is a symptom of mental health issues, a term also known as anhedonia. (The Conversation, 2021).

How do we combat feelings of depression, or the overwhelming concerns of not having any purpose in life. To be completely transparent, there are more ways than one. In this case this is an intentional open-ended question. However, first, I would suggest brainstorming, to see how deep your depression is. This is to ensure that you receive the necessary help that you may need, to prevent any potential harm you may cause to yourself, or perhaps anyone else. So, allow us to first take a quick mental health test. Start Quiz

Great. Now that, that is out of the way. Let’s get back to why it is important that despite how busy you are, it is time to get back to the things you’ve once enjoyed. Perhaps, even discovering something new. Before you start with, “I just do not have the time”, let us go ahead and explore that notion too. Click here.

See, so, you do have a little leg room for the things you enjoy!

The purpose of this blog is to encourage you to get back out in the world, and to break up the everyday redundant routine of, work, family, chores, and repeat. Not having an outlet can cause depression and anxiety, and not making time for the things that you enjoy, while unpacking all the things you do each day, can cause more harm than good. Read more on how hobbies can help with mental health.

In case you are unsure of what interests you. I found and interesting blog post, titled, “27 Hobby Ideas That Are Both Cheap and Fun to Try In 2023”, written by Qayum, 2020. I thought was beneficial and can help give you some ideas on choosing the perfect hobby for you.