Shalin

The sweet kisses I bestow upon your cheeks as you feed

The bubbles I blow on your foot as you stretch while eating

The giggles that spill from the tickles you feel as I kiss you

I did not know these were things missing in my life before

When you hate them

Delicate male ego

I'm tired of nourishing it

Together was nice once

Gentle kisses

As soft as kitten fur

Lips touching here and there

Nothing could be more beautiful

So tender like a blooming bud

Longing for more

Lingers long after the end

Shattered plans

Broken hope

Derailed future

Trying to hold on to a known God in the unknown.

Big orange sun

Making my down hill drive every morning

Gorgeous city skyline

Hesitation to go to work

Breakup is messy. Messy oil spill. The clean up is never easy. Many pictures to be deleted. Contacts and notes to be erased. A phone number to forget.

Maybe what I wanted was time with you without consequences. I'm sorry. For a lot of things. But I hate blanket apologies. I'm sorry for using you.

What once seemed impossible, I am doing it now. Nevertheless it's not easy. It's survival everyday to face the consequences of my long past actions.

First of all, it's healthy.

It's peaceful. Humble. Gentle.

It cares about my family. Genuinely.

It's not jealous or selfish. It practices self control.

It treats me with dignity, doesn't push boundaries.

It has big big brown eyes & freckles on its arms.

Its warm hands keep my cold self warm.

It's love is palm trees and numbers.

It loves cleaning obsessively.

It's a win (vin)!

I dream of you during the day.

You make me smile.

When I see you, I shy away - run away.

What I want most is sun|park|you|music.

What else? Candles|dinner|sway|

You can be the classic to my basic.

Ever so big brown eyes . . .

Big enough to drown by fears

Sensitive enough to shed tears

Oh dear! Oh my darling dear!

Time keeps moving.

Kinda fast. Kinda slow.

Wish I had more tentacles to wrap myself around you.

Would you hold me? And never let me go?

In a world filled with mistrust and lost faith, you asked me to trust you.

You shared with me poetry.

In your busyness, you captured beauty.

You lavished me with your presence.

In a world that allured poison, you chose coffee.

You put aside your wants for your needs.

Where you can have anything, you chose me.

I offered my body as an offering for you.

It wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. Not enough.

Today I burnt myrrh and frankincense for me.

In my room, grateful for your absence, I am.

You are a scar on my body that I can't get rid of

Grateful for the journey with you. But I desire you no more. Your fingers burnt me too much.

A generous crescent is beaming in a dark sky

Fills my heart with Joy and face with a smile

You float through my head so effortlessly

Beneath tiny stars my hand looks for yours . . .

It's been a year.

I'm shell of the being I so adored.

I see buds of cherry blossoms.

Recalling my request to see them at the park.

One year went by. No park. No flowers.

They died and here they are blooming again.

They seem to return despite the harsh winter.

I am still struggling to blossom again.

Will I enjoy these flowers without you?