#shalinwrites

Gentle kisses

As soft as kitten fur

Lips touching here and there

Nothing could be more beautiful

So tender like a blooming bud

Longing for more

Lingers long after the end

Big orange sun

Making my down hill drive every morning

Gorgeous city skyline

Hesitation to go to work

I dream of you during the day.

You make me smile.

When I see you, I shy away - run away.

What I want most is sun|park|you|music.

What else? Candles|dinner|sway|

You can be the classic to my basic.

Ever so big brown eyes . . .

Big enough to drown by fears

Sensitive enough to shed tears

Oh dear! Oh my darling dear!

Time keeps moving.

Kinda fast. Kinda slow.

Wish I had more tentacles to wrap myself around you.

Would you hold me? And never let me go?

I don't know if I miss the ideal you that's in me.

Or maybe I miss the few times when you showed me you loved me and cared about me.

All I know is that it's all in the past.

I'm learning to live in reality. Not my fantasy.

And reality tells me I was not important to you.

My feelings and emotions were your playthings.

You eroded me and my boundaries and when I finally made path for you, you decided to leave.

I gravitate towards beauty. Poetry. Loveliness.

Maybe that's why I was desiring you so much.

No matter how we started, somewhere along the line, my feelings for you got real and true.

I swear I did not hurt you on purpose.

I wanted the best for you. The best you for us.

I was trying to be the best me for us.

I'm sorry I ruined everything by wanting a lot.

All I wanted was to wake up next to you forever.

Babe, I thought I was ready to let go.

But there's still a shirt in my room that I can't seem to let go.

It's the one you made just for me with flowers.

I still love you despite the shittiness of it all.

I woke up with you in my mind.

Memories flooding my brain.

Somethings I see clearly, in retrospect.

You helped me know myself better.

Your love for me helped me love myself.

You only wanted me when you were intoxicated.

Today I cooked for the first time in a long time.

The last time I cooked was for you.

I saw saffron in my pantry and I'm reminded how much I loved you and I purchased saffron to make you some fancy meal.

We ended before I used up all of the saffron.

I wonder if you think of me.

All I want to do now is call you to come and eat.