blame it on the stardust;

mac: hey i'm in line for a promotion!

lady mac: that's great! so you're gonna kill your boss right

mac: what? no!

lady mac: aw, come ooooooooooooooooooooon. you know you want to.

mac: no i don't!

[literally not even 5 minutes pass]

mac: you know what? you're right. i DO want to. thanks, babe, you know me so well.

--

mac: hey, so, on second thought, now that he's here, maybe we SHOULDN'T kill my boss

lady mac: don't be a bitch

mac: you right you right

--

mac: ok i killed my boss but i am having at least four (4) separate panic attacks so i removed myself from the situation

lady mac: but you set up our fall guys, right?

mac: again. four separate panic attacks. i removed myself.

lady mac: ...

mac: i didn't set up our fall guys.

lady mac: oh for god's sake, i'll do it. give me that knife!

mac: and now it's five.

--

a guard, literally two minutes after the above conversation, basically right outside: why can't i get a boner when i drink a lot of wine? what is UP with that?

--

someone: our boss is dead? and so are all his guards? what the hell?

mac: yeah i uh..... *checks notecards* i found them covered in his blood and with knives in their hands, and i realized they were the culprits, so i killed them before you got here because i was so enraged that they would do something so horrible to our boss, who i totally loved

everyone: ...

everyone: yeah that sounds legit, congrats man, you're in charge now

mac: wow what a great occurrence that i totally didn't plan. i feel great, no guilt whatsoever. nope, nothing but a clear conscience and grief for our boss, who, again, i totally loved.

lady mac: *faints just as someone might begin to work out that her husband is being super suspicious*

everyone, including several experienced soldiers and statesmen, who later are smart enough to organize a rebellion against these two: wow what a crazy random happenstance

--

mac: *talking to a ghost, zoning out like crazy, flipping his shit in front of his guests*