Kitten's Treat Box

I am rereading all 7 Harry Potter books from the beginning. Just got to Diagon Alley. Very excited. Also, I am aware this blog is neglected and outdated, but oh well, I work nights. And sleep. Reading is a feeble attempt at having some me time that doesn't involve snoring.

I need to process and info-dump and I'm sorry. When I was in my early teens my mom started dating a very attractive younger man. I wasn't used to that - my mom had pretty much abstained from that when I was younger because she didn't want me to see her with men in and out of her life (however frequently or infrequently) and develop unhealthy ideas about men and relationships. The problem is the example she set when she was in a relationship was, I think, maybe more damaging to me than developing ideas about men based on her having a healthy perspective on finding the right person and not settling because you only allow yourself so many men to choose from... Oh this is probably rambling and completely incoherent. Anyway... My life changed from that point and I felt like we spent every waking moment doing things to make his life better. He didn't have time to do Christmas or birthday shopping for kids from his ex wife? She (we) would do it. He didn't have enough money for said items. She (we) would cover it. He didn't have a decent car to show up to court and... (okay writing all of this down now it's obvious to me that he was a total scrub and getting away with it because handsome firmer NFL player, but I was 13 and my mom is and was apparently a silly bitch.) anyway, this all continued - us paying for stuff and him coming through about once a month to have a date, always promising mire always promising a time when I would take as much of a focus in his life as his kids were in ours, and then his grandmother died and he just vanished off the face of the earth for ten years. And as much as I hate Stephenie Meyer and Twilight and having to draw thus comparison, those ten years were like living with Bella in New Moon. She didn't listen to music. She didn't do anything besides function. Two years ago, over a decade later, he resurfaced. She talked to or dated him secretly for months before telling me he was back and then when she did, she refused to listen to any of my well reasoned arguments as to why he should not be given a second chance. Then, in this order, he failed to show up for my grandmother's passing (which we had a distinct time frame for), her service, my brother's wedding, the winter holidays and new year's eve, all of which he committed to attending and then didn't show up because of work. But he could drag himself away when he wanted baked goods and fresh cut fruit plates and such. So basically it was exactly how it was before only now I am 30 and watching it all happen from the perspective of a person with some life experience and dating experience and its super frustrating to me that my mother still acts like baking cookies for a boy will make him yours forever, and everyone has good and honest intentions and no one ever gets hurt. And naturally, two months after we turned our lives upside and tried to make everything perfect for their new years ever date and he stood her up, she declared she was over waiting for him and ready to date again, and has been talking to a couple of men through a dating site. Y'all. I am developing a serious neurosis over my mother's inability to make smart decisions regarding her love life. I don't think she understands how scary it is for me that she is pursuing younger men on the internet, because I have had sososo many bad experiences with people I've met online and the only way she knows how to be I a relationship is to give too much and try too hard. He wanted our phone number? He had it. He wanted our address, he had it. Didn't matter how many times I told her that I had safety concerns about him knowing exactly where we live, that she is giving OUR mutual information away to a person who is a stranger to me. On top of that, you all know how mentally ill I am, I am just trying not to have an episode every time she brings new guy up because I think things are happening too fast and he is learning too much and she is diving in too heavily after committing to the last guy unwisely. Cut to Friday morning when she tries to make me talk to him on the phone as I am trying to pack up and get out of the house for the weekend, AND I had just gotten home from work at 6 am - a full night shift and she is in my face about whether or not I will talk to this guy because "he says it is time." then I come to find out he will be here for Easter which is also my birthday this year, and this is their idea of not springing it all on me at once. We blow up at each other and I leave the house. The next day I think we have had a mature discussion about all this and my concerns, and we have set it up so I will talk to this guy either that day or the next, only he sleeps through all his opportunities those days because he's currently in a different country on different hours. Find. But now I am settled that it won't be happening and I am secretly relieved, when he wakes up and calls, and asks mom to put me on the phone and she practically shoves it in my face so I am uncomfortable and can't get away and literally makes me talk to him, like an invasive disrespectful adult with a child. I am so angry.

You ever notice Paul Ryan and The Count from Sesame Street have practically the same hairline? "One! One failed health care "reform," ah, ah, ah!"

Oh and I will never get to see a band I should have given a chance before they disbanded live, because now their drummer is permanently injured and may never play well enough to do shows again. I hate everything.

I am sad and anxious right now. Waiting on some money that hasn't come in. My mother's health issues have been multiplying and getting scarier. I was playing Skyrim to cope with the stress until the computer I was using started having errors and now a save file I'd gotten the furthest I've ever been into the game with is corrupted and crashes straight to desktop.

Papa has marks on his arm from where I dug my nails in and started bouncing up and down when I heard the Fleetwood Mac's "The Chain" in the Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2 trailer. Oops.

Just finally watched Frozen with Papa last night and that movie is a damn mess. What a mess.

I keep reading that Maynard has started recording vocals for the new Tool record. I'm so excited. Pleeease let it be true. I need a new Tool record and then I need them to go on a proper tour so I can spend more money than I have to see them as many times as they will be in the SF Bay area. These are needs. Like oxygen and water. I require these things.

Also: Flynn resigning as National Security Advisor is super juicy and has major far reaching implications for the Trump administration. The fact that sanctions were discussed with the Russian ambassador and then he lied about it is hugely problematic and will give Democrats legitimate reason to question every decision and appointment Trump makes, and they'll *actually* be doing it in the name of national security.

If you live in a state where they just made it legal to hit protesters with vehicles fight back! Park your vehicle in front of your local Planned Parenthood/abortion clinic and threaten to plow over the anti-choice protesters shouting at the people going in to get life saving treatment. Or does it only count if you need to commit murder in the name of a pipeline?

Disgusted. I've "broken up" with Mariah in the past for doing some pretty questionable things, but burning a wedding dress that is worth enough to feed or clothe a small country just because you are having a bad time of it? Done. Mariah is so disconnected from the reality she claims she used to live its ridiculous.