ctstrphy

This is a good time as any to discuss the inappropriate behaviors of uncles and aunties in the brown community towards little children.

Children know and understand a lot.

I think more people than not have been victims of bad touches and weird comments disguised as compliments by adults as they were growing up. I know I was and people related to me have talked about their experience from many years ago like it was yesterday. My guess is most my parents age were definitely victims when they were younger.

There are many bad results of this. Most obvious the trauma. Then repeated exposure to the perpetrators. And of course the other lasting effects such as trust issues and ptsd.

But the thing I want to talk about is how most of us don’t even have anyone in our family to talk about what happened to us. They’ll either dismiss us, tell us to be quiet, defend the other person, talk about their good qualities and even justify it somehow. Like it happens all the time and it is not a big deal.

When my uncle passed away I gave my family members a moment to mourn. But then I told them directly that I was glad he was dead. I slept perfectly that night. And how uncomfortable he made me with his touches, looks and comments. I also asked why no one said anything as they saw him act strangely. The response did and did not shock me but it did make me upset. They were actually defending him. Saying how much he had done and that he came from a different era and other excuses.