I_AM_ALL_YOURS

"What are the five things that

happen to you this week?"

In a hope that one day you will say,

quite when she is speaking , almost

on time when we're heading out , almost

always available for her at 3 AM when she

want to rant , yet i was almost

Although we don't talk anymore like we used to,

But i'd like to let you know,

You still are who you were,

You're in my heart and you will

Do you know when I realized my mistake ?

Not when you leave me.

He still keeps the roses

She gave in his favourite book...

Even when the essence of

Drowning. Drowned.

I am falling apart.

I am not the loneliest man alive, but if my heart is my world, I am.

I search for happiness, some days.

She was the unexpected part of my life. And everything that happened to us... it still hurts somewhere. Ironically, as much as I tried to save her from a heartbreak, and from myself, I made her suffer far more.

Why did we fall apart? I wonder.

I was too empty to express my love in later years that I spent with her, and she was too certain of our future. My greatest guilt, even today is not that I couldn’t stay in love, but that I couldn’t find it in me to believe in her love.

I find people to spend time with, I do. And they find me interesting to talk about everything. They are curious to know about what makes me write. What hurt me? This. I hurt myself.

And if I have to do justice to this piece by not flavouring it with fiction, I will admit I seek her in every person I spend time with.

As I scribble away, I imagine warm tears trickling down my cheeks, but I know, I see everything but there is nothing I feel. There are no tears. Words, my words, they are a solace to the world, but empty words to me.

Some day, at some corner, we will bump into each other and I know how it will be—under the rain we will stand, and there will be a hurricane in my heart. I will try to smile, and like the billion faces she sees every day, she will step forward without looking back.

I will stand there, doing nothing and letting it happen, repeating what I did in the past. Not going after her.

I had a beautiful home, but I wanted to travel, to see the world, so I ran away, leaving everything behind. But when I returned, there was no home. It was broken and vandalized. There was nothing to take care of. I was scared to sleep under its roof. I am abandoned.

In a heartbeat, I will choose to be with her, but then again, by the second beat, I will stay put, breaking hearts.

I suppose, in the beginning, I was too scared of our future. And she was worried about the present.

I.

Am.

Sad.

Alone.

Passive voice : The paper was written by me.

"No."

"Committed?"

"No."

"Then?"

"I'm in a spot where I'm out of

relationship but still in love

Her friends consoled.

"the day i apprehend that

we are on the same beat

with different fate."

Just like,

Unfriend, unfollow, uninstall.

We could have had something

Called

"why?"

" Because i am just one of the

you and i were never us,

yet,

these conversation

made my 3 am

a little less lonely.

Truth : what is your crush name?