Welp, the Dad!Roy HC list has been popping off. And I’ve been in a writing rut for a bit, so here’s Roy being just the cutest dad lol
Also—this is not a dig at jarred baby food as a whole, this is strictly for giggles. A feed baby is the only baby that matters.
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Roy moves around the tower’s kitchen. Whisking an egg and pouring it into a frying pan as he looks over his shoulder. His daughter watches from her high chair by the breakfast bar, enjoying the cereal puffs he’d poured into the tray. “Look, I’m not saying all soccer moms are bitches, but so far, Squeaker, the only ones that have been busting my ass have been soccer moms. Like, no, Mary Beth, I’m not concerned with microplastics, I was shooting up two years ago—“
“What are you doing?” Dick asks.
“Talking with Squeaker.” Roy nods at his 7 month old. Lian gums on a fist full of puffs, dark eyes locked on him. “Where’s everyone else? I know we got here early so someone could get a nap.”
“Agaba!” Tiny hands slap the high chair tray.
“Yeah, I know you didn’t want to nap, but you needed it—look, it’s your aunties and uncles! Can you say ‘Fish Stick?’”
“Very mature.” Garth says, flipping off the archer as he walks by. Kory and Donna set down their bags. Chatting about a photo shoot details. Garfield helps a heavily pregnant Raven settle onto the couch with a kiss.
Vic offers Lian his hand, “What’s up, two bit?”
Lian grabs at the metallic fingers. Once she realizes he has no toys or treats, she opts to bite one. Vic snorts as he pulls it back. Only to have Lian scream in outrage. The cyborg returns his hand to her sticky grasp, looking around for help.
“No Wally?” Roy asks, double checking an email from her pediatrician. Tucking his phone into his back pocket, he slides the egg onto a plate.
“He’s on-call. The twins are fighting an ear infection, he didn’t want Linda alone or Lian exposed.” Kory says. She floats over, kissing Lian’s dark curls. “Hello, precious one. Is your daddy being good to you?”
Lian’s sweet coos fill the room. She releases Vic’s hand, reaching instead for Kory’s vibrant curls. The princess captures the tiny fists, shaking them to make her laugh, “Do I need to tell your daddy what will happen if he’s mean to you?”
Roy scoffs, “Hey! I’ve only had her a month, but she’s the mean one. Hitting all her milestones and a few dickhead kids, ain’t that right, squeaker?”
“I’m sure the other children deserved it.”
Lian coos, banging her palms against the tray again. Roy nods as if she said something profound.
“Exactly. We’re on track with her height and weight and we got the go ahead to try some allergy stuff.” He cuts the egg into strips, eating half for himself, leaving some for her, “Can you say ‘we started at a day care this week, and daddy’s already pissy?’”
The dinosaur esque shriek in response satisfies her father. Dick raises an eyebrow at the archer, “Wait, is that what you were talking to her about when I walked in?”
“No! I was talking with her. We were having a conversation about the bitchy soccer moms and their passive aggressive comments.” Roy sets the plate with egg in front of her. As Lian plays with and shoves part into her mouth, he opens a jar of baby food. “Like the one crunchy bitch that said she felt ‘bad’ for c-section moms because they didn’t really experience childbirth.”
“…..Wally was telling me how one soccer mom was insisting he couldn’t be Jai’s dad.”
“Dark hair?”
“Dark hair.”
“Fucking bitches, I’m telling you—”
Lian yells her agreement, egg bits dropping into her bib.
“Well said, squeaker, I would sue too.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to shit talk with babies.” Raven laughs. She massages the side of her stomach. One of her twins must be kicking.
“I know you’re supposed to talk to babies. I tried, I mean I really tried baby talk.” He shakes his head, watching Lian’s little face as she gnaws on the last of the egg strip. “I started getting pissed off….and I don’t know if it’s possible, but she was too. You know what she does like? Shit talk.”
Lian babbles at him, smacking her empty tray.
“Yes, I know you’re starving. Here, we got some new veggies to try.” He offers her a spoonful of the mysterious green paste. She takes the first bite easily. Then her face twists in disgust. More than half drips out of her mouth. “Lian, you gotta eat your veggies.”
“Nah!”
“You cannot eat bananas for every meal—”
“Nah!”
“I’m the parent, I’m saying you have to eat—Lian!” Tiny hands had smacked the tray, hitting the impending goo from his hand. Roy gives her an exasperated look….that they could swear she returns. “Look, I know you get the attitude from me, but we have to work together, kid.”
“I believe this is called ‘karma’,” Garth notes, handing Roy a new spoon.
“I don’t need the sass from someone who breathes pee water.” Roy takes it with a nod of thanks. “How’s Guppy anyway?”
“Growing like a weed. Already best friends with Prince Artur. Dol and I think his Magic’s starting to emerge.” Garth nods at Lian, “Not as much sass, but he is older. Perhaps Lian could learn something in a play date.”
“Promptly get fucked.” Roy feeds her another bite, but she spits it out. “Okay, squeaker, I’ll try a bite and show you it’s yummy.”
True to his word, he takes a bite of the mush. Face twisting in disgust as he spits it into a napkin. Little giggles mix with his gags.
“It can’t be that bad.” Garth takes a bite, followed by Dick and Gar, only to have the same reaction. “That’s vile, you feed that to children??”
“They made that taste bad on purpose.” Gar coughs, chugging a glass of water. “Peas and beans can taste good, that just doesn’t.”
“Is it out of date?”
“Squeaker, I owe you an apology. You clearly have better taste than me.” Roy takes the offending jar away from her tray. Donna snorts, patting his back as he walks to toss it.
“Check the fridge. I bought some fresh avacado and bananas.”
“This is why you’re her godmother, you Amazonian delight.” Roy grabs the fruit and starts to prep it. “Lian, say thank you to Auntie Donna.”
“Nah nah!”
“You’re welcome, baby girl.” Donna kisses the top of her head. “Next I’ll show your daddy how to find cute girls clothes.”
“Led Zeppelin is cool and she makes it cute!”
“Kory,” Dick coughs, gettin the last of the mush out of his mouth, “if we ever have kids, promise me we’ll taste the food we give them. It’s the least we can do.”
The princess laughs, wiping the corner of his mouth with her thumb, “Love, I think any child of ours will be much busier taking over the universe with their adorable nature.”
“Thank god that’s in the distant future. I mean, I’d help them, but more so it’s less a hostile take over. I’m happy as an uncle for now.”
“I dunno, Dick.” Vic teases. “There’s only room for one cool uncle on this team.”
Dick pats his friend’s metallic arm, “Good thing I’m going for funniest uncle.”
“Ooo, I got bad news for you, buddy. You have to be funny to get that title.”
The light hearted barbs continue as Roy finishes feeding Lian. New routines snapping into place over the old. Some of them making dinner, others tidying up or setting the table. Chats about new books and shows mixing with conversations about jobs, apartment hunting, classes.
Rae reads a story book to Lian, tiny hands patting her belly as the twins kick, while Roy cleans up her toys. He stops every so often to watch her sweet face. Reassuring himself that she’s real and his. Donna annoys Dick about his ‘Uncle Status’, neither pointing out the rumors around the Red Hood. Easier to pretend he’s the only family Bruce has right now. Gar and Garth argue over some obscure fish none of the others have heard of, but Gar wants to add it to an animal book for their twins. Kory and Vic chat about changes to the security systems and her upcoming journey home.
But there’s still plenty of time, right? They still have time. They have to, there’s still so much to do.
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I wanted to add a page where they get pulled over by cops but ironically I spent 10 hours driving myself today and I’m falling asleep at my desk kfbshckm anyway here’s a bonus meme:
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Fantober Day 10 - Android 18
There's something simple yet very appealing about A18's design that I find super effective. To be honest, lots of Dragon Ball characters have this same effect, from Goku to Tien Shinhan, Piccolo, Trunks... Master Akira really nailed the designs.
Which is your favorite design in Dragon Ball?
So imagine a magic school for witches that teaches these young girls how to use their powers to help other without revealing their identities; this secret school as been about for centuries and two of their students were…
Nanny Mcphee and Marry Poppins
I thinks this be a cute story with many other characters to add…
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Re-watching Jimmy Neutron and wanna make an appreciation post.
When I was a kid I always thought that Jimmy was cool, not like the typical smart kid who's allergic to everything, or annoying as hell about his intelligence. Now I realize the reason he was cool in my eyes was his selfishness, Jimmy does his inventions not only for his science curiosity but for his own benefits, to have fun with Carl and Sheen, to prank Cindy, to impress Betty, TO WIN SOMETHING. It was in the way he used science and his brain to fulfill his boyish antics, like sending the teachers to space so the kids could have a week off, or when he took his friends on a trip to the dessert just because the class was boring, or when he hypnotizes his parents to keep getting birthday presents to build his hypercube.
I also notice the great friendship between Carl, Sheen, and Jimmy. The first thing you learn in season 1 is that they would be friends even if Jimmy wasn't a genius. They like him and being smart is just the plus that gets them into more interesting scenarios, and Jimmy also enjoys their company (although in season 3 he gets annoyed more easily with them, but c'mon it's justified)
Judy and Hugh are the first representation of a healthy relationship I got in animation, FIGHT ME. I highly believe that Jimmy gets to act his age because his parents raised him with love and no pressure. Smart or not if he needs a scold he will have it, if he gets prized they are proud and happy for him, and no matter what they just love their son. AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH UGHHH it makes me sick, HUGH SPEND HIS LAST DOLLARS ON JUDY'S RING TO PROPOSE, and then told Jimmy that A MAN HAD TO HAVE PRIORITIES, meaning the love of his life over millions of dollars. IT KILLS ME UUUUGHHH.
OF COURSE, JIMMY WOULD BE A ROMANTIC if he grew up watching their parents doing nothing but love and care for each other. Jimmy learning "the walking man" from Hugh it's POETIC CINEMA, BYE.
About Jimmy and Cindy, as a kid I never noticed the period where they became friends, S1 is all about them hating each other (the crush is there but not as hard) S2 is them developing trust, they actually became friends by papers in the season final (the crush was heavy) and by S3 Cindy and Libby are include in Jimmy's plans and adventures with the boys naturally (also Libby and Sheen's relationship is established by this point too and Jimmy and Cindy are literally fighting their feelings for each other)
Stranded S3 E7 is probably the episode that resolves their Love/hate dynamic, they realize that most of their fights are over the pressure of being more intelligent than the other, and once they are away and alone they leave their guard down. Again, Hugh and Judy raised a gentleman, Jimmy has every little gesture with Cindy.
I'm insane but this little gesture, the "you go first" is such a great detail in his character. Then he goes and opens as many oysters as he has to find a pearl for Cindy, PRIORITIES indeed. Cindy by the end tries to convince Jimmy to stay on the island and it just hit me like, the girl has a lot on her shoulders, classes, grades, the constant to prove that she is worth it as Jimmy is, and this is not on him to blame, but her mother, her status and the way the city price Jimmy when he goes and does something beneficial but completely ignores others kids gifts.
A lot to say about the show and I can go for hours if I can, but this is for now, such a classic and well-written comedy, chill and funny, yet interesting.
English is not my main language so, sorry for the bad grammar, thanks for reading and bye.
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