Mountain Boy

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

I’ll still laughing at this the next morning.

*gets down on one knee in front of gal pal* *takes out ring* Will you hang out with me?

There was one time I was out shoe shopping with my partner and I was debating buying these cute pastel green shoes. The saleswoman was like “well why don’t we ask your friend here?” I said “oh actually this is my partner.” The woman stared at us blank faced for a few awkward seconds before forcibly smiling and saying, “partner in crime?”

JAW….DROP…. 

In a store once with a girl I used to date, browsing through all these different mattresses. One of the sales ladies came over and talked about all the beds with us for quite some time while we told her what we were looking for. It was painfully obvious we were a couple, like literally holding hands and calling each cute pet names out loud. Finally the sales lady laughs nervously and says “sooo.. wow, what kind of roommate setup is that that forces you two to have to share a bed!?” I just sort of stared at her for second at a complete loss and said “… the dating kind…”

Thought I saw a shooting star but the neighbors above me are flicking cigarette butts out the window

what halsey song is this

Watch this and be blessed

“Why he smoosh my head??? Wait smoosh my head again.”

Have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt, and again when your head goes through the windshield.