ALWAYS HARD TO FIND

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

i like to blame myself for everything just in case

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

uh oh 😖 I’m playing video games 😰 on my computer 🫢 that I own 😨 if anyone sees this I’m going to have to fake my own death

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] start a meth empire that ruins the lives of half of albuquerque

Accidentally clicking on an AI assistant feels like clicking on a link that’s going to give you a virus.

sorry can you repeat that. i was busy trying to make eye contact and act normal and didn't hear you

A customer asked for pickles on their sub and I (dumbass) reached for the cucumbers. They quickly went “oh, no, I want pickles!” and I immediately said “they could’ve been pickles. in another life” ????? Why did I get hired????????

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