ok can i say something without getting flamed. tw rape, kidnapping, self harm, manipulation & gross topics. yandere
stockholm syndrome with lohen and a mentally ill reader. you stuck out like a sore thumb to lohen, always isolated, the one covered in scars, the one who had odd habits, the one who deemed themselves a burden, to be unlovable, that nobody would care if you were gone, and nobody cares for you now. but lohen cares, he cares too much. heâd been stalking you for so long, it physically hurt to not take you every moment he could.
heâs a complete stranger to you, but youâre not to him. it began with him just idly watching you, interested in what the lonely person was doing. he was boredâŚhe found you attractive. you frequented the area a lot, seemed to enjoy the outside breeze and walking around, circling the park way too much. he later found out you did it to burn calories, not cause you actually enjoyed the outdoors.
he started following you home, wondering what youâd do after. it was chaste, he didnât mean for it to get to an obsession. he started worrying, started getting curiouser and curiouser about your life. what would such a pretty person like you be doing all alone and sad? wearing sleeves in warm weather? hanging your head down low? he really didnât mean it to get out of hand.
it was little things, taking pictures of you when you slept, when you daydreamt, when you prepared your favourite safe meal. felt domestic.
it turned into taking an old shirt that still smelt like you, rubbing his face against the towel you used to dry yourself off with, rolling in your sheets when you went off to work.
domesticity plagued his mind. he would leave little gifts outside and inside your home. buying an extra box of your favourite safe snack. a new plush of your favourite animal. cleaning up your bloody rags and sheets for you. delivering bouquets of flowers, changing them in a vase every so often if they started wilting. leaving encouraging messages around your living space with stickey notes, all sweet and uplifting.
it grew into jacking himself off in your bed with your used panties, grabbing the hair you ripped out of your head from the trash, and quietly slotting himself in your closet while he ever so slowly touched himself, admiring your sleeping face. he left you pretty, perfectly sized lingerie that he wanted to see you in. asked for you to save some blood in a vile next time you cut deep. hoped you dozed off while using toys so he could lick up the cum still on it. left hidden cameras and microphones all around your living space so he could monitor you. secretly installed a gps tracker in your phone so he could make sure you were safe at work, when going out.
he liked the taste of your tears when you cried in your sleep. he thought it was a blessing you sometimes didnât bother with aftercare when cutting yourself, he would lick the dry blood clean from your body, it tasted beautiful, just like your salty tears. he wished every single bite you spat out was spat into his mouth, feeding him like a baby bird. heâd feed you himself if he had just taken youâŚ
yes, taking you would solve all your problems! you wouldnât have to feel so miserable anymore! he read your diary constantly, read the pages splattered in blood, the ones where it was inconceivable chicken scratch, the suicide notes that never will see the light of day outside of that journal. it pained him watching you suffer alone, he was so sick and tired of you suffering! he had to do something!
so, he introduces himself when you were on an exercise purge again. he was so sweet and gentlemanly. he knew he was a good man when he kidnapped you. you didnât know him, but he would change that. he would show you just how much he loved you, just how much he cared about you. he drugged you, of course. you were still fully conscious, you just couldnât move. he needed you to listen to him, why he was doing this.
and once he showed you, everyday, just how much he loved you? he was the happiest man in the world. making you healthy meals, buying you your dream wardrobe, carving you wooden crafts, making sure you slept well, took care of your hygiene. when you still didnât trust him? he had to show you another way, by worshipping your body.
he would never put his pleasure first, he praises you while he makes love to your limp body, drugged again. heâs sorry, but how else will you stay to let him display his devotion? he will love all your scars, every part of your body you think is âfatâ or âuglyâ, every part of your body you loathe, he will love every single part of it, because itâs you. and the more days he showed his undying obsession for you, the more you thoughtâŚthis couldnât be so bad.
you finally have someone to love you in every way, to care for you. he didnât make you cut, he didnât make you starve, he didnât make you suck him off, he didnât make you work. if you relapsed behind his back? just let him know. heâll lick away all your blood, clean up any mess, make love to you until all you can think about is his cock kissing your insides with love instead of the hatred you have for yourself. he will mark you all over to distract you from the marks you made on yourself. wake him up when you feel bad, call him when you feel bad, he will drop everything to take care of you. he loved how soft and vulnerable you were, he felt like he was protecting you, like he was doing some good for the world. and you were his perfect world.
he will stay up all night whispering sweet nothings, he will tell you how much he loves you a million times, and never get annoyed when you keep asking. in fact, it makes him happy when you ask, heâs more than willing to rant about all the things he loves about you, material and immaterial.
he asks you to stay inside forever, he will cherish you. outside time was a privilege, he didnât want anyone looking at his beloved bunny, to steal them away from him. you had to hold on close for outside time. inside? you were free roam after you started getting more âcomfortableâ, or otherwise, manipulated. lohen said the outside world is a scary place, he read your journals. the past times people had bullied you, taken advantage of you, hurt you. but with him? youâre safe, youâre protected, youâre wanted, youâre loved. to be loved is all you wanted, and now you have it.
lohen will love you forever, a promise. and he never breaks his promises. he would tear out his heart with his bare hands if it meant you could keep going, keep smiling, keep feeling his love.
iâve been having a lot of ptsd lately & have been in a bad headspace. it sometimes drives me to write unhealthy things to cope w my trauma if it gets to a rlly bad point. sorry this is kindove devoid from my usual vanilla writings, but itâs still soft lohen
