All day every day.

‘I’m perfectly capable of cleaning up my own house and making my own breakfast.’

in what universe

T0̶0̶ ̨LA͞T̛E, N0̷ G͟ET͏TI̧N̶G ̛0UT̴ ͡0̡F I̵T̶ ̢N͏0W͢.

I͜’͞M͟ ̡Y͟0́UR NE̴Ẃ ̕D͝AT̴I. I̕’̛L̢L ̸ATT͜E͜ND ́A̢L̵L ̨Y0UR͝ ̡B͠A̢S̶EBA̷L̸L GAMES A͝ND́ S̵IGN A̷N̢Y͜ P̀E͏RMI̢S̢SI0̧N͝ F0̡RMS ͠Y0Ù NE̶E͝D͜ T͢0͝ G̢0 0̴N̶ FIEL̀Ḑ ̛ŢR͞I͏P͡S.͘

T̀HA͏T̀’S WH̕AT͘ N0RMAL͏ ͜ĹÙS̶ÚS ̕D̛0͏ R͝IGH͞T̢?̧ I͏’V̡E ͟NEV̴ÈR̸ ̨A͝C͏TÙALLY̷ ̕R͝E̸ARE̡D ̧A̡ HUM̧ÁN̵ BE͝F0R̴E I’M͏ A̢ LI͞TT͢L͞E̢ 0UT͏ 0F̷ P̢R̵A͠CTIC͏E͞. ͜I GU̕E͜S̡S͏ T̕EC̵HN͠IC̢A̵LL̀Y̴ I ̕AM͝ ̷C͟0M͝PLE͡TELY͞ ̢0̸UT ̸0F͝ ̧PRACTI͡C̡E͜ A̸S Í’̶V̷E̶ L̸I̕TE҉RAĻLY̶ ǸE̡VE̵R ́D͡0͞NE I͘T̨.̶

T̶H͞A͠T̕’̡S̨ ̸0KAY͠ ́I ͘P̛R͜EFE͠R͟ T͢0́ ŞL̕E̡E͏P̶ ͟I͜N ̵T͘H̴E CL0̨SÉT ANY̛W̕A̶YS. ̛K̴I̛TKAT͞ ͘AND͘ ̷I͏ CA̢N ̶J͝U̢S̛T S̀ÉT͜TL̸E ̸I͠N͢ W̨IT͞H̸ Y͞0̨UR͡ ͘C̀0͘AT̴S 0R͢ ͟WHA̢T̶ H͟AV̸E ͟Y̵0U͜.

Sure, that would work, if I were the kind of kid who went to baseball games, or field trips, or if I were a kid at all.

I’m a man, and I don’t need rearing, bro. Put away the little golden stickers and the chore chart, I’m perfectly capable of cleaning up my own house and making my own breakfast.

Also there’s really no room in the closet. Just saying. None.

well shit dont you know that greeters are serious business you always gotta give it your best effort or youll never win a spot in americas most talented greeting post writers

that is totally a legit thing and not something i made up just now and i can actually say that because the multiverse is never ending so literally everything and anything you can imagine exists somewhere so yeah theres definitely tryouts going on right now for just such a thing

also nah that requires effort and im lazy like ninety nine point two percent of the time

Considering this competition supposedly happens in some parallel universe somewhere, I’m pretty sure I’m not even eligible to compete -- and if I were, I wouldn’t know where to mail my audition anyway.

And it might be a real thing, but it’s still a thing you just made up just now, too.

shadesparty replied to your post: W̶A͝IT͠ D͡I͝D ̷I͞ ̸JU̧S͜T͏ G͞E̢T DRA̢FT͘E͏D̡…

Tar? If that’s you, you’re not taking my bro. Actually, if that’s anybody, you’re not taking my bro, but clarification would be nice.

I͡T̵’S ̴TAR͡. ̢E͡V̡ERY0NE̡ ͟ELS̸E ͘0N͏ ̢TH̷I̡S̡ BL0̛G US͝ES V͜A͘RIE̶T͢IES͜ ҉0F̴ B0L͝D ̕LE͘TTERÌN̷G. ̀A͞L͜S0 ͏I͠ W̷AS ͢M̨0́STLY J̧0KI͟NG̢ D0N’T̸ ͡W̴0R͝R̢Y- I J̛U͞ST͢ ͏N0T̨ICED Y0UR B̴R̡0TH͘ER CALLIŅG͟ H͝IMS͝ELF KIT͝’͘S “͝N̸E̕W”̸ ̕BR͠0͏T̴H̵ER̢, WH͡IC̢H I GUES̵S W͠0ULD͡ M͝A̡K̀E HI̢M ́M͘Y͝ KI͞D BỲ D̷ĘFA̕U̷LT.

C̢0MĘ T͜0 ͝TH̵IN͡K 0̀F͡ IT,͘ THĄT̡ W0͏U͠LD ͟ĄLS0 ̷M͢AKĘ ̶Y̨0̷U͠ MY KID BY ̴D̵E͏FA͜ULT.

C͜0N̵G̸RA͠TU͡LA͡T́I0ŃS̕ ̧Y0͞Ú’V͝E ͜J͡US̀T͘ B͘E͞E͢N͟ ͡AD̛0P҉TED.

Oh hell no.

I don’t need parenting, no thanks. I’m my own man.

I don’t need you coming over for father’s day and ending up catching sight of something lewd and acting all scandalized. You can feel free to stay right at home.

YOU’RE IN LUCK! I CAN FEED YOU *THREE* TIMES A DAY *PLUS* DESSERTS! AND APPLE JUICE WHENEVER YOU WANT IT. C:B

ALSO HI, NICE TO MEET YOU! I’M KIT AND I LIVE IN A PALACE.

oh holy fuck

really

thats crazy

youre crazy

this is some sort of terrible kidnapping skeme

or kitnapping skeme i guess

this is the part where you lure my into the back of your big white van and tell me there is no palace there is no apple juice and theres not even an easter bunny and then you radio home to my bro and tell him he has to pay up or im burger meat

and then he says nah because he just doesnt have that kind of dough and maybe you send him a finger or something but eventully the jig is up and its my own fault for wanting to run away from my family

thats what this is isnt it

teaching me a lesson

oh hey there dude what a surprise this is someone actually greeted me first i mean it wasnt really much of a greeting so much as a one worded statement but i see the tags there yeah alright ill accept this as a greeting if a slightly disorganized one though im not sure why you think you gotta tell me where your brother is not like i know either of you so doesnt really matter who comes to chirp in my ear

which is to say hey there the names davesprite or ds or bird dude whichever you wanna use im not particularly attached to any name

In fairness to myself, I kinda didn’t think my greeting was gonna get dissected and criticized, or maybe I would’ve tried a little harder.

ME, I WILL, HURRY COME HERE. MY NAME IS KIT!

hi kit

im dave

im your new little brother

my only requierments are that i get fed at least once every day

take out is fine but i dont mind if you order in

and i need at least a gallon of apple juice every

ill be generous and say two weeks

what

Dave.

and probubly a lot of other people too but who has time to remember all of that anyway right

i sure dont

i mean sure i could probubly figure out who we greeted already and who we didnt but

i could also

not do that???

disisions disisions