Nevermore

no. wouldnt bee powerful enough. 2ee iit would have two bee a biig bla2t of iit whiich ii can only do when ii have the helmet ii de2iigned on. beeliieve me iif iit were that 2iimple ii would have done iit already and AA would bee aliive

my 2olbot2 would bee able two 2tore my power and ree2tablii2h the 2hiield iif needed

ii u2ed two bee kiind of biitter about iit but then ii 2aw what can happen iif ii don’t do iit 2o ii’ve kiind of ju2t accepted iit

2hrug. iif anythiing happen2 iit2 all on me two protect the kiingdom 2o

yeah iit would kiill me ii mean not riight away but iit would completely fry my braiin and ii’d pretty much diie a 2low death a2 an uncon2ciiou2 bedriidden troll

well ii make all kiind2 of hiightech 2hiit liike holographiic computer2 and thiing2 liike that. iit2 uh. a one tiime thiing

kiind of loo2e2 iit2 2park after liiviing iit for 2o long. pardon the pun. ii mean liike mentally ii can project a huge a22 2hiield around my entiire hiive

yeah but see i aint living it at all so that statement doesnt apply here to me this statement is still full of spark and intrigue like give me the deets dude i wanna hear them

not much two tell. ii’m the head 2ciientii2t iin the palace ii liive iin. but ii’m al2o ju2t iit2 2hiield.

I.

Hm.

I.

Hm. hm.

…

I’m… sorry for your loss? es?

nah its chill ive sort of come to terms with the situation its not like im living some sort of horrible life where im in constant agony or anything sure it sucks being trapped here but im alive and ive got company and i can jump to all sorts of awesome games and shit so hey

2ound2 liike a 2hiit tiime but hey liike you 2ay at lea2t youre doiing iit youre liiviing on 2o good on you for that

yeah i mean gotta make the most of what you have right sure life may be sucky but at least youve still got a life you know best live it to the best ability because you never know when its gonna come to an end and wow that suddenly got really depressing shit dude im sorry

Just fasten it above your sword - i guess it’s more of an emperor’s belt when it’s up near the nipnops but you get my drift. but do not staple yourself that is a bad idea i know from experience! it hurts like a bugger. i mean, maybe less than dying and stuff but it hurts. hurts more to pull them out, accidentally or intentionally. 

and even then you’re beating out a few of those employed. 

that sucks. and is also potentially illegal?? i’d fire someone? fire them with phallisii and shittily drawn flamethrowers. sounds like a plan.

i dont have a sword dude that thing was never programmed in with me just got the open hole in my chest and also my wings sort of prevent that from being a thing i cant fasten shit there without doing some wing piercing shit and that aint fun

i suppose it depends what kind of work youre doing when employed

you need to get yourself a belt, and just. staple pockets to it. or a purse. staple a purse to a rad belt. flawless. oh! a bag of holding! you could fit a translator in there no prob then. (or you could just capchalog them but thats another thing entirely)

you show your non-believing male counterpart that you can be more than he thinks. you got this. you got this and you’re working it.

okay.i’ll do research next time instead of just greeting a familiar face. 

aw man, school? you’re stuck at school? can’t you just karate chop your way out with a badass backflip and a badass finger flip? or are you like, serious about graduation or something? 

also please tell me the barest of classrooms are now painstakingly rendered with only the finest penis ouija.

well i dont know where the heck id get a bag of holding but i could definitely manage a belt of some sort maybe i dunno its not like i have much of a waist or any kind of hips but maybe i could get something to stay or maybe just staple the pockets to myself idk

i am working it damn hard no one works as hard as i do except for like people who are actually employed for a living

okay good yes this is important

no no i cannot do any of those things im pretty damn stuck in this school aint no graduation happening here dude we dont even get to go home at the end of the day because the day never ends its just one long endless stream its not like we have lessons or anything

whoa TZ and jane are there two? well at lea2t there are famiiliiar face2 there huh? oh iive heard the 2ong ii ju2t wanted women fiir2t hand confiirmatiion

yeah theyre here too its kinda awkward though since no one here but me realized we were living in a game til shit went south and now everyones just kinda lost and confused and angry shit sucks man but were doing it were making it happen

hehe. oh my god dave. no, i don’t need a translator. keep that in whatever metaphorical or physical pocket you find convenient. 

yes you are dave, you are the most independent of birdmen. i’m super proud of you for staking your own claim and whatnot. this is your recognition, savour it, it is the sweetest of pies. 

yeah fair enough. people usually correct me if i assume wrong but i suppose that could be dangerous since i’m not actually here to hurt people, just have a fun time. sorry for the less than elegant introduction,i suppose. 

that said, how are you and your bird self? 

dude we have already established i am a sprite thereby i clearly dont have pants or any sort of pockets to put my shit in why you gotta rub my pocketlessness into my face thats just insensitive i think i actually shed a tear

youre damn right i am no other birdman could claim to be as independant as me im like elle from legally blonde i dont need no man or woman or nongender specific person ive got my own life and identity 

i know a couple folks who are very specific about what names they like to hear like theres one guy on my dash who shares my face but if you call him by my name his owner will track you down and strangle you or something itd be super messy best just always ask first and never assume

huh. who el2e ii2 iin the game. al2o how fa2t ii2 2oniic really

man i dunno how to list them with my quirk given the fact all their names would just kind of blend into one massive title and also i highly doubt youve actually heard of any of them for the most part theyre all really old school arcade game characters except also jane and tz are here

2ound2 liike fun. 2cavanger hunt heck yeah. 2o my new project a2iide how about you tell me more about your2elf

aint got much to tell honestly my names davesprite and once upon a time i was a sprite in a sburb session but then i made a cameo in a dating simulator but the simulator got deleted due to lack of interest or something and now im just chilling at the school with the rest of my fellow cast