CROWN OF THORNS.

— wow i think i was better off just leaving that somewhere in the ether beyond my comprehension.

> Part of you briefly entertains the idea that your brother is dedicated to his jokesmanship, the troll part of being the older brother, enough to keep making bits out of the running gag of him really not telling you anything about himself. Another part of you feels guilty for not thinking to ask in the first place. 

> You roll your eyes at his answer.

so you were an orphan i see i see let me just scribble that down in my book thats definitely not titled the psychological drama of one bro dirk strider except the dirk part is scribbled out because im a respectful dude see you raised me right in one way

you make a mental note that there are some things you’re probably just better off keeping to yourself. it’s hard to blame him for instantly making a joke out of something you had intended on being serious about; you are, after all, quite good at being one. that doesn’t stop the stab of aggravation you feel, though, even if it’s just as easily pushed away.

— yeah you got me man.

you got me there hey can i retire too lmao

what a coincidence i also didnt go to school through high school shit high five bro i mean that does actually make me feel a little bit better about like school shit even if im curious about what in the hell you did do then

— jesus. have i really never told you this.

stupid question. no shit you didn’t. it’s hard to remember what you have and haven’t said sometimes.

are we gonna have to start looking at retirement plans for you or

— thanks.

— the big four zero.

are you telling me that in this theoretical world you lived in this pre-dave world where you were a child surrounded by other children you never got harassed by other kids over your demonic eyes or like did you just manage to convince them you were a demon to make them do your bidding that doesnt really seem like something youd do but i mean if you could be a baby i guess anythings possible

— i guess sometimes. mostly they were just scared of me.

you dont think i got shit for having the shades too i mean theres really just no winning here bro no matter what people are gonna give shit got shit for miles like im the only portapotty in a taco bell convention and you just know no one brought the poo pourri like damn yall really took your fiber today huh you knew you were going to tacobellcon or the tbc as us locals call it i mean thats kinda touching i guess  they didnt look cool they were triangles i dont even like triangles

— it’s one or the other and you’d rather deal with harassment from little grade school shitheads than fucking crazy religious people. 

#then why did you make ME wear the shades as a baby what the fuck

— fuck you mean why.

— cuz they looked cool.

— ntm it was easier if you were used to it already.

— you know how much shit i put up with before the shades. too much.

— got lots of shit from devout christian ladies regarding my being a demon given the whole red eyes thing. better if you didn’t have to put up with it too.

— also like i said.

no but im trying to imagine you with those tiny stupid shades and its really blowing my mind rn

— aight imma say somethin that’s really gonna blow your mind.

— .

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