We Live A Borrowed Life

So, here is me at half 9 in the morning. Struggling to smile, struggling to move, struggling to motivate myself. Everyday is a struggle for me because of the pain I'm in and because of what I suffer with mentally. But you can only see my physical pain! I was 17 when I was first diagnosed with a mental illness. At first they thought it was just depression and then postnatal depression, but I knew there was something more wrong with me but I couldn't explain it to anyone without sounding crazy. I was given a multitude of tablets but none of them worked, they made me worse. In 2012 before my 19th birthday, I went through something traumatic to myself. I wasn't well in myself and my daughter went to live with her father by court order; which at the time was the better option and I can't thank him and his Fiancée enough for what they've done for her. I did stupid things throughout the years and I couldn't stop. I pushed my friends away, I ruined relationships with my family and close friends because I didn't know how to control myself. Back in 2014 they finally found me a tablet that would balance me out, Quetiapine 200mg every day. It's now 2016 and I'm down to just 25mg a day on Quetiapine! I am proud of myself for sharing this with you guys, and I just hope you are brave enough to #SmileAgainstTheStigma and share your stories! I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Social Anxiety and I have panic attacks near enough everyday. But as long as I have my family, my friend's, my amazing Fiancée Stuart and my two beautiful little girls I can get through anything. And you guys can too! Help raise awareness for Mental Health!

This tattoo actually means a lot to me; for a good chunk of my life I've been on a constant battle with myself and my demons. I've learnt that in time you can win against your demons, you just need the right people and motivation. I found a song that helped me by one of my favourite bands Bring Me The Horizon. "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone I long for that feeling to not feel at all The higher I get, the lower I'll sink I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim." #Tattoo #Inked #NewInk #InkedGirls #InvisibleIllness #CanYouFeelMyHeart #BringMeTheHorizon #BMTH #GirlsWithTattoos #Black #Art #Artwork #Addict #BattleAgainstYourDemons #BattleWon #Thankful @bringmethehorizon

#ShortHair #GirlsWhoLikeBoys #GirlsWhoLikeGirls #GirlsWithPiercings #Piercings #Inked #InkedGirls #GirlsWithTattoos #ShortHairedGirl #Black #White #Smiles #Dimples #Attitude

Even in the darkest of times, light will always find you!