procrastinating

And so he did.

And then he never spoke to you again.

You saw him on TV a few years later, he had debuted with a boy group as a vocalist. You almost couldn’t believe it when you saw him, he had debuted under a new name, so you thought it might’ve been another boy that just looked like him. But there was no one else in the world that looked like Lee Dongmin.

You were more than a little bitter about it, you two had been the best of friends throughout your entire lives until he got scouted, and then as soon as he got accepted as a trainee, he completely ghosted you. Not even his parents or brother could tell you why he didn’t ever text you, apparently he refused to tell them.

So now here you are, nearly a decade after he ditched you, a year after you graduated college, and working at your friends cafe because you decided to major in a degree that was nearly impossible to get a job in.

In the years since Dongmin’s debut, he’s only gotten more and more famous. He’s gotten huge acting roles, become an ambassador for some of the biggest brands on the planet, and the entire country was in love with him. It seemed like every single time you opened your phone or turned on your computer, you saw some headline about him like;“The Most Handsome Man In Korea; Cha Eunwoo”, “Cha Eunwoo: Face Genius”, “Cha Eunwoo Dating Rumors”, it was exhausting.

You lived close enough to the cafe to walk to work, and much to your chagrin, it seemed like your old friend was the face of every brand ever. You saw posters of him, billboards, screens playing his ads, coffee cups with his face on them. You couldn’t escape him. The memory of the boy you had grown up with followed you everywhere.

During exam season, your friend liked to keep the cafe open 24/7 on weekend nights, so students could have a place to get coffee and relax for a minute before getting back to studying. Tonight was one of those nights.

None of your coworkers liked the overnight shifts, but you didn’t mind them. They were slow and peaceful. About once an hour, a teenager with dark circles under their eyes would come in for a pick-me-up, and leave as soon as the drink was in their hand. So you always offered to take the overnight shifts by yourself.

It was 3 a.m., and no one had come in for almost two hours. After an hour of experimenting with the different syrup flavors and making what was quite possibly the most foul drink to have ever existed, you resorted to scrolling on your phone while sitting on the stool behind the register. You were tired, the blue light of your screen burning into your eyes. You had half a mind to just close the shop and go home, and pray that your friend wouldn’t murder you when she found out.

You didn’t even notice when the bell on the door rang as it opened until the person was standing right in front of the register.

“I am so sorry,” You apologized, quickly setting your phone beneath the counter and looking up at the man in front of you “What can I get-”

You stopped in your tracks as you observed the stranger in front of you. He was tall, and wearing a mask, glasses, and a beanie pulled down to his eyebrows, but there was something familiar about his eyes, and with the way he was looking down at you, you could tell he thought the same about you.

The two of you maintained eye contact for what anyone outside would have thought was an uncomfortable amount of time. You knew this man somehow, how somewhere. But where? Where could you have-?

It hit you like a semi-truck going 50 over the speed limit on the highway- It was him. The man that had haunted what felt like your every waking moment of the past decade.

It was Dongmin. Your Dongmin.

A shocked “Holy shit.” left your mouth.

You thought there was no way he would recognize you. He’d probably have worked with thousands of people over the past ten years, his world a constant loop of meetings, rehearsals, photoshoots, recordings, and performance. When he left, he cut you off completely, he probably wanted to forget his life before fame, he probably wanted to forget you.

At least that was what you thought until he pulled his mask from his mouth and breathed out your name.

“Uh…” You stuttered for a moment, your brain scrambling to think of something to say, should you confront him? Ask him why he never called or visited? Instead, what left your mouth was a lame, “You want coffee?”

You could’ve sworn you saw his face fall for a second before he nodded. “Yeah, just…Just an Iced Americano, I guess.”

The two of you were silent as you made his drink. Your mind was racing. He recognized you. He recognized you, and you kind of blew it? Why did you just ask him if he wanted a coffee? Are you stupid? Well, sure, maybe a little bit. You have to say something else to him. But what? What could you possibly-?

“So…How’ve you been?” His question stopped you before you could hand him his finished drink. How’ve you been? How. Have. You. Been?

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” The question left your mouth before you could stop it, stunning the both of you. But still, you continued. “We haven’t seen each other for like, an entire fucking decade, and you’re asking me how I’ve been? You completely stopped talking to me after you got accepted into your company. Do you know how many all-nighters I pulled after you left, hoping that you would send me a message? Do you know how many times I went over to your moms house to ask about how you’ve been, only to find out that you wouldn’t even tell your own family why you wouldn’t talk to me? I see your face every fucking day. Everywhere I go, you’re there. On every fucking poster, every billboard, every magazine. Hell, every time I open my goddamn phone, your name is in every damn article I see. Every day, I have to wonder why you ghosted me like that, why you just pretended I didn’t exist, and went on with your life. I’ve had to watch as you’ve become one of the most famous men in the entire country, while I slogged through school to get a degree that just led to me working in a fucking coffee shop. And you’re asking me how I’ve been. What the fuck?”

You took a breath, letting everything you just said sink in. You couldn’t have stopped yourself if you tried. All your frustration about him over the past decade had just come tumbling out of your mouth in rapid succession. You realized you were still gripping Dongmin’s coffee and set it down on the counter in front of you. Dongmin’s expression hadn’t changed much, other than the furrow that had formed between his brows.

The two of you stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. You were still fuming, and Dongmin was still practically expression-less.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said before grabbing his Americano, tossing the cash for his drink onto the counter, and quickly exiting the cafe.

You were left shocked. All your questions unanswered. You stared at the wall for the next three hours until the crew for the morning shift came in. You were in a haze the whole walk home. You had finally seen the man that had been on your mind constantly for the past several years, told him what his absence in your life had done to you, and all he could say was “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or stare at the wall in silence. So you just went to sleep.

You slept for an almost inordinate amount of time- 15 hours. It was already almost time for you to go back to the cafe for another overnight shift. You got ready with your mind still in a furious fog, the thought of your best friend as a kid- really, your only friend as a kid going out and living a successful life made you what others would probably say was unreasonably mad. Even your own mom thought your grudge against him was a little much. She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what his actions had done to you.

It was a much busier night at the cafe, students and businessmen alike all coming in for a dose of caffeine to get themselves through the busy season. The cafe didn’t calm down until almost 4 a.m., and at long last, you were finally left by yourself in peace and quiet.

Maybe ten minutes after the last customer had left the store, you were drying out a froth pitcher when the bell above the door dinged again, alerting you to another customer.

You were still turned around facing the sink when you heard his voice.

“I swear I can explain.”

You whipped around so fast, you could’ve gotten whiplash. Once you saw him standing there looking so perfect and handsome in his long tailored black coat, expensive glasses, and designer shirt, you had half a mind to throw the small metal pitcher in your hand at his head. He raised his hands as if he could see the wheels turning in your brain. He looked around for a second before pulling out a chair at one of the small tables in the cafe and sitting down. You stared at him for a moment, wondering what the hell he was doing before he gestured at the seat in front of him, motioning for you to sit down.

You contemplated just leaving. Leaving the store unattended with Dongmin sitting alone at that little table and then never coming back again. Maybe you’d just walk out and keep walking and walking and walking until you dropped dead. But in the end, you decided that wasn’t a feasible option, so you set down your rag and pitcher, and slowly moved to sit down in front of him.

“So…Go ahead. You said you were gonna explain. So explain.”

He remained silent for a moment, his eyes scanning your face intensely, as if trying to find something that wasn’t there. He sighed and took off his glasses, placing them on the table. He rubbed the corners of his eyes, and folded his hands on top of the table, right next to where he sat his glasses before meeting your gaze.

“It’s not as simple as you think it is.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he silenced you with a raise of his hand. “Please…Just let me talk. I know you’re angry, I know you’re frustrated, I know you’ve had a really hard time these past few years. But please…For the love of God…Let me say my piece before you say anything. When I’m done, you can yell and scream and call me names and tell me how shitty your life has been. But let me finish first.”

You closed your mouth and slumped back in your chair, watching curiously as Dongmin twiddled his thumbs for a moment before speaking again.

“I didn’t really…Have a choice. When I was accepted into the company, they told me that I couldn’t do anything that might damage my reputation in the future. They asked me if I had any female friends, so of course, I told them about my best friend; you. I told them about how we spent every day together, how we took all the same classes, how our families knew each other, how close we were. And they told me that wouldn’t do. They told me that if I stayed friends with you, that you could hurt my career.”

You almost opened your mouth again to speak, and he could tell, as he stopped and put his hand up again.

“I know. Okay? I told them that you wouldn’t do anything, that you were my best friend and only wanted good things for me, and you would never say or do anything to hurt my career. But they didn’t know you. So they didn’t believe me. They took my phone and blocked your contact, and told me to forget about you. To never mention you again to anyone. And if anyone tried to bring you up, to shut it down immediately and change the topic. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to abandon you. You were the most important person in my life. It was so hard to imagine you at home by yourself, wondering why I was ignoring you. I cried every night at the thought that I would never see you again. I hoped and prayed that we would see each other again, that you would be waiting for me, because I-”

Dongmin was cut off by the bell above the door dinging. You quickly stood up and saw a teenager standing in the door, obviously startled by your quick movement. “We’re closed.” You lied, ushering the teen out the door before closing the blinds and turning off the “Open” sign in the window. You turned around to see Dongmin still seated in his chair, facing the one you were sat in just a moment ago, fiddling with a string on his ripped jeans that probably cost more than your rent.

You sat across from him again, but this time he was determinedly avoiding making eye contact with you.

“Are you finished?”

He nodded his head slowly, his gaze returning to yours. “Do you…Wanna say anything? Now that you know?”

Your mind was a mess. You were still mad- you didn’t really know why, but you were. You finally had a reason, a pretty good reason, for why he did what he did. But you were still…Really fucking mad.

“Why…Didn’t you contact me? Like, after you debuted, after you started acting, after all that…Why did you never reach out? Hell, you could’ve had your mom or your brother deliver a message to me or something. If I was really important, if you really cared about me to the point where you were crying over me every night, why haven’t I heard from you until now?”

His head hung low and a long quiet sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his eyes again. 

“I really don’t know. I think I was scared. Scared to see you, or scared that you would be mad at me, scared that you wouldn’t want to hear me out.” He looked back up at you, this time his eyes welled with tears. “I missed you. So much. More than I missed anyone else. It hurt so much, and I really wasn’t okay. So after a while, I did try to forget you. But it didn’t work.”

Your eyes were welling with tears of your own, and you weren’t even sure why. You choked them back and stared at the table for a second, gathering your thoughts before looking back up to him. “Didn’t you have…I don’t know, other friends or maybe like… I don’t know, girlfriends or something? I mean, your life is so…Insane. Why couldn’t you forget me? When you really think about it, I was kind of only a small part of your life.”

He let out a teary chuckle and your heart ached as you saw his real smile for the first time in years. He wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and attempted to compose himself.

“Of course I have friends, come on. But really, I don’t…I never…Really had any girlfriends.” His head ducked again in what you could only assume was embarrassment. “And you…You were never a small part of my life. You were everything to me. The thought of being able to see you again after I debuted was basically the only thing that kept me going as a trainee. I could never forget about you. I tried, but I just…Couldn’t. You were my reason for going on. My reason for…Everything.”

You quickly looked away from him, your cheeks reddening for an indecipherable reason. You took a second to regain your composure, eyes wandering around the cafe before landing on the table. “So…Why didn’t you have any girlfriends?”

He chuckled again, and your heart once again tightened at the sight. His teeth were a little different, you noticed. But his smile still met his eyes the same way you remember it doing all those years ago. He scratched his chin and his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but you. He stared at the ceiling for a second, his smile slowly lessening before he looked back down at the table between you.

“Every time I tried to…Go out, or even just…Spend time with a girl…” He brought his hands to his face, groaning into them before finally looking back up at you. “I could only really think about you.”

His words took you off guard, and it took you a minute to process what he was saying. Your anger at him had long since worn off, and instead, you were left with a feeling of guilt. He had spent so many years working completely non-stop with people- management and fans alike- watching his every move. And any time he tried to stop and enjoy life like a normal human being, he couldn’t. Because he was thinking of you.

“...Why?”

He smiled gently at you, like he was waiting for you to realize the answer yourself before he said it, “Because. It was always you. Since the beginning, it was you. You were all I could think of before I went to sleep, all I could think of anytime I tried to enjoy myself. I wasn’t complete without you. From the beginning, and in the end, it’s you. And I think that’s the real reason I tried to forget you.”

The sunrise started to creep through the blinds as your mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what Dongmin was saying. It’s you. What? You stared at him blankly, unable to form a coherent thought or sentence. After all this time, the reason he had never called, never messaged, never tried to find you, the reason that he had spent the past decade of his life trying to forget about you was because he…You couldn’t even bring yourself to think of that dangerous word.

The smile had long since faded from Dongmin’s face as he carefully watched your reaction. He pushed back his seat, and adjusted his jacket. “I should probably go. Your coworkers are going to be here soon.”

He stood from his seat, your eyes trained on him as he slowly made his way to the door. Suddenly, something in your mind clicked, and you rushed forward to grab his arm just as his other hand reached for the door handle. He looked down at you, his brow furrowed as you looked up at him. Now that you had him, you weren’t really sure what to say, so instead of thinking, you just let the words flow out.

“I think I know the reason I never got over you leaving. I think I loved you- love you. I love you so much that you leaving and blocking me without warning hurt so bad, and then I kept seeing your face everywhere, and in every picture you just looked so happy, the sadness that I felt just turned into hate. I hated you for being happy without me, I hated you for being successful without me, I hated you for the fact that everyone in the country loves you. But I don’t hate you, I never hated you. I love you. I love you.”

Both of you stood in shocked silence at your words, neither of you moving, neither of you breathing, neither of you blinking. You just stood there, looking at each other. You couldn’t tell how long the two of you had been motionless until Dongmin’s face broke into a soft smile, and he gently removed your hand from his arm and held it in his own.

At first, you had thought of the sign’s early appearance as a motivation: it had given you a chance to save up as much money as possible by the time you grew old enough to embark on adventures on your own. Whenever you had wanted to buy something silly on impulse just to follow the trends, you had looked at the small puppy tattoo on your arm with the initials “LDM” and kept yourself from throwing your money out the window. It had worked like a charm.

Throughout the months, your soulmate mark had served as a reminder that you weren’t alone in the world despite how lonely it had felt on days when your parents hadn’t seemed to be able to take your side against your teachers. It had become a source of courage when you had felt that something was wrong with your personality. It had made you look forward to every single day, even when you would have rather not gotten out of bed and taken those tests you had hated so much.

The infinite optimism and positivity that had oozed from your body wherever you had gone and with whoever you had encountered had complemented your outgoing personality well. At the start of your senior year, you had felt invincible: you had been confident in your moral compass, you had had a clear vision of your future, and you had managed to build a trusting relationship with your parents that allowed you just enough freedom for your friends to be envious of.

Life had been amazing.

Until one day your plans had completely disappeared along with the tattoo on your sun-burnt skin.

You had been on your way to the closest convenience store to buy some strawberry ice cream before your next shift at your part-time job. That time, you had ditched your friends who had gone down to Eurwangni beach in Incheon with the same excuse you had often used: “I want to save up some more to go backpacking before university.”. They hadn’t been too happy, but they had let you be. Some of them had already gotten their own soulmate marks, so they had been able to relate to you more.

Not to mention that what had mattered the most was that you, yourself, hadn’t felt left out, either. You had loved them, you had loved spending your free time with them, but you hadn’t been lonely without them.

In hindsight, you might not even have known how true loneliness felt like until your bouncy steps had come to a halt in front of that buzzing 7-Eleven, and the sharp pain in your chest had forced you to your knees.

Funnily enough, the darkest, most miserable moment of your life had been the one that had given you your best friend: Moon Gayoung had witnessed your mental breakdown along with many indifferent tourists and locals. And unlike the rest, she had rushed to your aid despite your brief encounters in the local cram school you had both attended to, and she had dragged you to the hospital with her noodle arms and lack of stamina.

Afterwards, Gayoung had stuck to your side like an overprotective big sister you had never had. She had made it her mission to sit next to you in every supplementary and college prep class you had taken and fed you when you had been suffering from a serious lack of appetite. She had never asked questions like “How do you feel?” or “Do you feel a little better today?” and never pushed for more details unlike your classmates who, initially, had wanted to know everything about your situation to understand your mood swings better. 

(Before they had given up on your ugly pessimism and started to distance themselves from you one by one as though your mere closeness could have killed their loved ones, too.)

Gayoung hadn’t needed to pry and pour salt on your open wounds, anyway. She had already learned everything there was to learn about your situation from the doctor who had treated you when she had taken you to the hospital.

No soulmate mark, no soulmate. The math had never been more simple.

Impulsively, you had quit all of your part-time jobs; sometimes, when you had been laying on your bed, wide awake despite the late hour, you had wanted to quit life itself as well.

If it hadn’t been for Gayoung, you might have never graduated from high school. She had kept you on track when she had noticed you had fallen behind in your academics and tutored you even though you hadn’t attended the same high school. You couldn’t have counted on one hand how many times she had pulled you back to the surface when your depression had been about to consume you entirely. Especially on holidays like Christmas, Valentine’s Day or White Day when couples were in the center of attention, reminding you that your perfect match was no more.

Maybe, these things were the reasons why you had decided to follow Gayoung to her dream university even though it didn’t offer the same program you had initially aimed at. These and the fact that you had stopped thinking of the future as positively as you had done before. Where there had once been endless opportunities, you had seen nothing. You hadn’t known what to do with yourself anymore.

And maybe these things and the undeniable fact that she had helped you heal so much were the reasons why, when she started to act like those main characters in romance novels you felt so indifferent about, you decided to help her with her own soulmate: a second-year student in your major who was so dazzling, you could understand why Gayoung was acting so shy around the boy whenever she walked up to him. She might have been unable to utter two consecutive sentences in front of Cha Eunwoo, but you had two elective classes with the guy, so nothing was lost yet. Now, if only you could have gotten back some of your friendly easygoingness! You could have befriended him quickly and set them up, so that fate could have taken care of itself.

It would have been an easy enough plan if you hadn’t counted the constant exhaustion that other people’s presence was giving you. Not to mention that despite his prince image, Cha Eunwoo wasn’t hard to approach, either. His smile might have been small and his facial expressions might have come off as cold when he was super focused in class, but he was also kind and friendly. At first glance, you would have said that he liked his alone time. However, you had never seen him turn down anyone when they started a conversation with him.

Was he what people considered as a pushover? You weren’t sure. You couldn’t tell just yet. Still, Eunwoo seemed like a genuinely good person, so you gave him the benefit of the doubt as Gayoung’s best friend.

You approached him like everyone else did although within your new boundaries. You took the empty seat next to him when you had the opportunity, which you only ever had when you headed to the lecture hall straight from your previous class. Then you stuck to neutral topics that most people could easily talk about whenever you struck up a conversation. You talked about your electives, your professors and the restaurants around the campus. You shared your experiences of the dormitory - both good and bad - and of those student associations that were always ready to recruit new members.

Cha Eunwoo liked dog cafés and basketball. He was the proud owner of a Bichon Frisé who had a cameo in almost every picture Eunwoo posted on his Instagram and went by the name Dongdong.

It took longer than it would have taken if the two of you had met in middle school or in your freshman year of high school, but eventually your conversations became less forced. Not that you had actually forced yourself to come up with something to talk about. It was just… before, you would have never considered talking about school in school when you wanted to get to know a new person. There were so many more interesting things to talk about after all such as movies, dreams, foreign cultures.

There had been a time in your short life when no one in your class could have escaped from you chatting their ears off about Italy. Was there still a part inside of you that would have died for a lick of real gelato?

‘Hey! Good morning.’ Slowly, you lifted your head from your book upon hearing a familiar voice, unsure whether Cha Eunwoo’s greeting was dedicated to you or he was talking to his friends who were scattered around your seat.

In the past few weeks, exchanging short conversations with him in the elevator, greeting him in the hallway even when he was surrounded by others and grabbing lunch with him in your shared empty period after your Wednesday elective all came so naturally, you often needed to remind yourself that you weren’t that important in his life. Cha Eunwoo might have been the closest person you had to a new friend ever since you had cut the high school gang out of your life, but from his perspective, you couldn’t have been that special.

Which was perfectly fine, you didn’t plan to become anyone significant for him, anyway. You just wanted to get close enough to him that introducing your best friend to him wouldn’t have felt forced or staged. 

Because at the end of the day, it was Gayoung with the basketball tattoo on her arm with the “CEW” initials, not you. And while you had no idea about Cha Eunwoo’s soulmate mark, the facts were pretty convincing that the two of them were meant to be.

‘Morning,’ you mumbled under your nose with a small smile, your right hand moving in front of your face for an uncertain wave like it had its own will.

The corners of Cha Eunwoo’s pink lips turned upwards when he saw your gesture, and he shortened the distance between the two of you with a few confident strides as though he was happy that you were acting so straightforward.

‘Is that the sociology book the professor mentioned last week? About social stratification?’ He asked, seemingly genuinely surprised by the fact that you were holding the library’s copy in your hands.

You shrugged and put your bookmark between the pages before you closed the book.

‘I didn’t understand his slides, and it’s actually kind of interesting. I like the writing style,’ you told him, not feeling comfortable enough to roll your eyes just yet, but you were damn close to cross that line when your eyes fell on his goofy smile.

‘Do you wanna study together this weekend? I’m planning to cut down on my shifts at my part-time job this month because of the upcoming midterms, so I have more free time,’ he explained casually as he took his laptop out of his bag and put it on his desk.

You pondered over his proposal. You did prefer studying on your own on most days, getting distracted way too easily by your company whenever you joined a study group, but it would have been nice to have someone around you could have asked questions from.

Unconsciously, you pursed your lips, your concentrated facial expression turning the boy’s smile even bigger.

‘I’ll think—’

Your shoulders became tense when the familiar sound of a kakao message registered in you. Not because it was so unusual for you to receive a text (you spoke with Gayoung daily, and your parents also liked to spam you with the most random articles they came across on the internet), but because you had thought that you had your phone on mute.

Quickly, you took the electric device in your hand and put it on silent. Then, you checked the notification and your breath stuck in your throat. It was Gayoung. She was asking you about your elective class and whether you had made any progress with Cha Eunwoo.

Oh. Right. For a second you had gotten too comfortable and almost forgotten. You were a best friend on a mission. You shouldn’t have given up on a golden opportunity just because you studied more efficiently alone. You sucked in your lower lip and shoved your phone in your bag without opening your chat with Gayoung.

‘I’m free on Saturday, but I like sleeping in on the weekends, so maybe… we can meet up sometime in the early afternoon?’ You suggested slash asked, not sure whether Cha Eunwoo himself was an early bird or a night owl. This topic had never come up between the two of you and you couldn’t really tell based on his personality.

‘Perfect. Let’s grab something for lunch first, then go over the slides in Mooncake. They have bookable booths on the second floor,’ the boy said just before the professor’s appearance silenced the buzzing atmosphere of the lecture room.

You nodded, signalling him that you were fine with those plans, then turned towards the podium in front of the gigantic four-panel-big white board and opened your notebook, so that you could jot down the most important pieces of information for later use.

You really sucked at Sociology.

And you sucked at being smooth as well, it seemed, because no matter how much you wanted to turn your study session into an impromptu chance to introduce Gayoung to Cha Eunwoo, you failed every time. Which made you feel immensely apologetic towards your best friend, your sour mood as clear as day in the furrow between your brows and your pouty lips during the lunch you shared with the boy on Saturday.

‘Would you rather have noodles instead?’ Cha Eunwoo’s voice made you look up from your beef rice bowl, the genuine concern in his eyes only adding to your guilt. 

‘No,’ you shook your head quickly, your shoulder-length hair falling into your face because of the sudden movements. ‘It’s delicious, I was just… thinking.’

Cha Eunwoo tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. He didn’t look any less worried, but his features hardened a little as though he was angry or frustrated maybe. You weren’t sure. It had been a while since you had been in a situation in which you had to read the feelings of others.

Gayoung was like an open book. You had never realised it before, but she made things very easy for you.

‘About sociology or…?’ He inquired with his left brow raised, and you shrugged while you shoved a spoonful of beef and rice into your mouth to steal some time for yourself to think. You could have easily gone with his excuse. If you had wanted to be honest, the way Cha Eunwoo had worded his question was rather convenient, but…

You thought of Gayoung’s smile when you had told her about the basketball anime the boy in front of you was currently enthusiastic about and unbeknownst to you, you frowned.

‘About tomorrow… I…’ the words that fell from your lips sounded clumsy even to your own ears, but you decided to push through since you had already started your semi-honest explanation. ‘I promised my friend that I will help her with some club stuff and then I made plans with you, too, because I completely forgot about it, so now I’m thinking whether there’s a way to sort this out without bailing on either of you.’

‘I see.’

Cha Eunwoo lifted a half-full spoon of beef and rice in front of his mouth, not taking his eyes off you as he was munching on his lunch.

‘Did you come up with a solution?’ He asked, and something in his voice told you that he did not believe a word you said, but that would have made no sense, right? He might have been kind of a pushover sometimes, but surely, he would have called you out on your bullshit if he had figured you out. Wouldn’t he have gotten mad?

‘We could study in the club room. That way, I could help her and revise with you at the same time,’ you suggested, willing yourself to hold the boy’s burning gaze as he was slowly, ever so slowly, chewing his food.

You reached out for your water cup, unsure whether the lump in your throat was the result of the rice or your nerves.

Then, Eunwoo put his elbow on the wooden table and placed his chin on top of his hand. He smiled at you, but there was something in that smile that made you feel both comforted and uneasy.

You decided to suppress the latter.

‘That works for me. But are you sure you can afford multitasking during our study session? I mean, Sociology is not your strong suit,’ he chuckled, his teasing easing the tension a little as the corner of your mouth twitched.

For the first time since the two of you had become acquaintances, you rolled your eyes, and he let out a hearty laugh at the ridiculous sight.

Your study session on Saturday had ended way too quickly, though, the two of you had managed to cover almost half of the topics that you had learned about so far. You had also made a decent amount of notes afterwards in your room much to your roommate’s dismay, who would have preferred the lights completely off after 10PM. Still, sacrificing both of your beauty sleep had been necessary, because you had needed to test your current knowledge and made sure that you wouldn’t have asked the same questions over and over again next time.

You wouldn’t have said that you sucked at multitasking, but helping Gayoung with her club and focusing on your studies before midterms might have been a teeny tiny bit too much for you. Agrr. You hated that Cha Eunwoo had been right to doubt your plan; however, you had told yourself before going to bed that once those two got to know each other better, you would become a supporting background character in their love story anyway.

Then, you would have time to prepare for your exams in your usual, pre-exam solitude.

‘Deep in thoughts?’ A familiar voice pulled you back to the present, Cha Eunwoo’s eye-smile appearing to be unfairly attractive even to you, who was (well… had to be) immune to his boyish charms.

‘Oh… hi!’ You blurted out the first thing that came to your mind, then shook your head with an awkward smile. ‘It’s okay. I was spacing out while waiting,’ you said, tightening your grip on the straps of your backpack before you tilted your head towards the main building’s gilded entrance.

The hallways were significantly less crowded that afternoon than they were on weekdays, but that was to be expected. In fact, in your humble opinion, there were way too many students present in the building considering that it was a Sunday. Hm. No wonder your school had been fifth on the national list last year and sixth in three consecutive years before that. It seemed, people took their studies a lot more seriously here than you did.

The corner of your lips twitched as you took the elevator and got out of it on the fifth floor. You weren’t a member in any of the student associations, your passion for most things worn and faded, but that didn’t mean this was your first time around this area. Your steps were confident as they took you closer and closer to the beautification club.

‘So… what’s this thing exactly, anyway? That your friend needs help with. I don’t think you went into any details yesterday,’ Cha Eunwoo inquired just as your hand found the doorknob and pushed the door open.

If he had asked the same question the day before, you wouldn’t have been able to answer him. But since then, you had told Gayoung about the impromptu plan you had come up with, so that you could introduce the two of them to each other somewhat naturally, so the game plan for the next few hours was clear.

‘Making decoration for the upcoming flower festival,’ you stated, only a tad guilty about tricking the boy into coming to the club room when all the members had been assigned an amount that they should have been able to deal with on their own.

In your defence, you hadn’t asked him to actually help the two of you. And while the extra decoration was unnecessary, it wouldn’t be unwelcomed.

‘Uhm-hum,’ Cha Eunwoo observed the beautification club’s logo on the wall next to the door and nodded. ‘Makes sense.’

‘Gayoung! We’re here,’ you announced your arrival, pulling your backpack against your chest, so that you could open the biggest compartment and take the snacks you had brought out of it. ‘We came with peace, two pockets of seaweed chips and enough strawberry fanta to burp the afternoon away,’ you chuckled, enjoying the eye roll your best friend had shot in your way.

Ah, you really did get some of your old sparks back when you were with Gayoung.

‘Thanks,’ the girl took one of the bottles out of your hand, pseudo-annoyed, before she pulled herself together and turned towards the boy on your left. ‘Hi! Thank you so much for coming. My name is Moon Gayoung, a second-year in the same major.’

Cha Eunwoo introduced himself politely, then he took the rest of the snacks and drinks from you, carrying them to one of the empty tables in the middle of the club room.

‘Thanks.’

You took a seat by the table Cha Eunwoo had chosen and placed your backpack on the chair next to you, so that the boy had no other choice but to sit across from you. This way, Gayoung could occupy the chair next to him naturally.

‘Should we revise some of the more difficult segments from yesterday or start with the next topic?’ You asked casually as you fished your notebook out of your bag and opened it with practiced ease. Looking at your messy handwriting on the last two pages, you could almost phantom the cramps in your fingers from the night before.

Cha Eunwoo placed his laptop on the table between the two of you, putting some effort into finding an angle that allowed the both of you to see the screen. Shoot. Now you remembered why you had sat on the same side of the table in the coffee shop yesterday. Reading the slides on a laptop was easier than scrolling through them on your phone because of all those enormous pictures that didn’t fit into the screen.

You weren’t a tech genius, but your sociology professor was definitely way worse than you. How come that the pictures didn’t adjust to the size of your screen when the background and the letters both did? Seriously. This subject was such a pain in the ass.

‘Can you read it?’ Cha Eunwoo asked, and you nodded because while the distance was a tad inconvenient, your eyesight was relatively good. Not to mention that it wasn’t the first time you had seen these slides; you were more or less familiar with their content.

‘If it’s okay for you, I’m good,’ you let him know, repeating your inquiry from before about what you should have started your study session with. Personally, you would have preferred to go over some of the more fundamental definitions (and you told him that much); however, you left the final decision up to him.

You were wasting his precious study time already with your fairy godmother act; you should have adjusted to his studying speed and style a little at least.

‘I’m good with both. Ask away if something’s still not clear from yesterday,’ Cha Eunwoo encouraged you to speak your mind, so you hummed and looked at the last written page in your notebook full of questions about the content.

You weren’t good at multitasking, Cha Eunwoo hadn’t been wrong about that much. Still, it took you by surprise how immersed you got in your study session. You had already felt it the day before: that time flew while you were discussing the topics. Yet, to completely forget about your promise to Gayoung while your best friend was in the same room as you, working on the extra decoration? That was another level of crazy, one-track minded behaviour.

‘I…’ Gayoung’s unsure voice drew both of your attention, her cheeks a beautiful shade of pink due to her embarrassment (or most likely, due to the close proximity of her soulmate). Clearly, she was overly self-conscious, and it was your fault.

It was your fault because you knew how hard it was for her to start a conversation with the boy, and you didn’t take your time to ease her into the situation. Maybe, the three of you could have started with some light conversation over the snacks you had brought, but taking a seat by the table and asking Cha Eunwoo about your study session had somehow come more naturally.

Still… if you had put in the effort!

‘I don’t want to sound demanding or anything, and I know your studies are important… I also take my exams seriously, you see…’ Gayoung started, the most defensive that you had ever heard, her rambling tugging on your heartstrings.

It was wrong. This whole situation was so wrong. You hated seeing her walking on eggshells just because she didn’t want to be hated by her own soulmate as though that could have been a possibility.

‘You’re not! You’ve finished so many paper flowers on your own while you were waiting for us to take a break. I’m sorry, Gayoung,’ you apologised profoundly then sneaked a glance at Cha Eunwoo, who was already watching you.

You placed your pen between the pages and closed your notebook. Then, you slid a bottle of fanta towards the boy, nudging him to agree to your short break.

He kept staring at the drink for a while quietly then reached out for it with a nod.

‘How many of these do you have to finish today?’ He asked just as you took a coloured paper in your hands and started to roll it up, so it looked like a stem.

‘About twenty more,’ Gayoung answered sheepishly, breaking eye contact with the boy after a couple of seconds.

It was a little uncomfortable: watching their interaction. However, you told yourself that it was because of the lingering awkwardness in the air (Moon Gayoung was a confident and stubborn older sister figure in your life after all; seeing her act so uncertain didn’t fit into your perception of reality) and quickly finished your first paper stem with the green tape your friend had prepared.

You were just about to ask Cha Eunwoo for a break, too much of a coward to nudge him in the right direction and request his help, when the boy himself shot a smile at your friend and picked up a pink colour paper.

‘Well, that shouldn’t take longer than half an hour with all three of us here, sunbae,’ he said, then he asked Gayoung to show him the steps slowly, so he knew what to do.

It was surreal, how smooth things started to go from there. Filling the air with conversation and finishing up the decorations became so easy, you wondered whether it was the power of a soulmate bound that erased the discomfort from the room. Was this how fate worked things out when individuals like you weren’t actively interfering with the situation?

So damn convenient!

You swallowed down the unreasonable bitterness that filled your senses and suggested that the three of you could have grabbed some coffee at the nearby organic café right outside the campus ground.

Both Gayoung and Cha Eunwoo seemed to like your idea, and you felt relieved, because you really didn’t feel like you could have been able to concentrate on your sociology slides now that the extra decoration was finished, and the only way Gayoung could have stayed with you two would have been if Cha Eunwoo had insisted that she wasn’t a bother.

Which she wouldn’t have been! Gayoung could have never been a bother to you. But it was an elective class that she didn’t take, so if she had really stayed, she would have stayed to get closer to Cha Eunwoo and…

Well, that would have been actually ideal, right? This outcome was your goal from the get go, you had stepped out of your new comfort zone and befriended Cha Eunwoo, so that the two of them could have gotten closer.

You didn’t understand what had made you so upset a second ago.

‘Are you okay?’ Gayoung’s gentle voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you nodded, surprised that she had already had your backpack in her hands, your notebook and pencil case no longer on the wooden table.

On your way to the coffee shop that you had chosen, you tried to suppress the annoying voice inside of your head that was nagging you about this whole set-up. Why did you feel the urge to come clean and apologise to Cha Eunwoo all of a sudden? It wasn’t like you had done something bad. You considered him a university friend, and you had never faked having fun in his company. Not to mention that because of your actions, he would have the opportunity to unite with the love of his life so early into his life.

If anything, that deserved a thank you, so you had nothing to say sorry for.

You ordered a latte with plant-based milk and an extra shot of espresso. You also let yourself be talked into a slice of lemon cheese cake, which tasted heavenly when it melted in your mouth.

You had a good time. You enjoyed listening to stories about Cha Eunwoo’s puppy and hearing about that one time when Gayoung had dragged you to a dog shelter for volunteer work, as an early attempt at curing your depression, from your best friend’s point of view. She teased you about how awkward you were around animals up to this day, and you let her because you couldn’t deny the facts. Small animals weren’t your biggest fans and kittens and hamsters were always out for you, biting your fingers until they became numb. 

You felt a light ache around your ankle, and you frowned, though, you tried to hide it behind your latte. Then, you shoved a bite of cake into your mouth and stole a glance at Gayoung, who was sitting in front of you. This time, you hadn’t had the opportunity to block the seat next to you with your backpack, because Cha Eunwoo had volunteered to reserve the three of you an empty table, so the kick could have only come from her.

She raised an elegant eyebrow, and it didn’t take too much longer for you to realise what she wanted: some alone time with the boy.

It was totally understandable, and somewhere in your mind there was a similar plan. You had just had too much fun listening to these two outbidding each other with their stories and you had forgotten your role.

You swallowed the cheese cake in your mouth and quickly finished the rest without coming off too rushed or choking on the crunchy pieces. Then, even though you weren’t a hundred percent sure that your acting skills were advanced enough, you shifted your gaze at the clock on the wall above the counter and let your pseudo-shock blend into your features.

‘It’s this late already? God, mom’ll be so furious,’ you exclaimed and chugged down the rest of your drink in one go before you stood up and grabbed your belongings. ‘I’m so sorry, I thought we had a lot more time. I’ll totally make it up to you guys next time!’

You didn’t have the courage to look Cha Eunwoo in the eyes after sounding so ridiculous, so you avoided both of their gazes on your way towards the front door and didn’t let your steps slow down until you reached the closest bus stop.

As you were sitting on the metal bench in the bus stop, your head hanging low and your hands squeezed between your thighs, you had a hard time to understand the gut-wrenching sadness that lay heavy on your chest. It made no sense, because you should have been happy. Even if you were still bitter because of the cruel fate you had been given, Gayoung was your ride or die. To feel so devastated after seeing her with Cha Eunwoo was a new low, and you were scared you would fall even deeper with time.

Jealousy. Envy.

You hated it. You hated your feelings and you hated yourself.

You just… hated yourself.

You really were the worst.

It was unfair to both of them, but you started to avoid Gayoung and Cha Eunwoo after that incident. It was a selfish way of self-preservation that included a whole new route to your classes, the exploration of new lunch spots a bit further from campus than what would have been convenient, last minute arrivals to your shared lectures, new seating arrangements and a complete social media detox. Your phone’s battery had never gone so long without a recharge since you had bought it, and maybe even your skin would have gotten clearer from the lack of useless scrolling that frequently kept you awake until after midnight if your overthinking wouldn’t have had a worse effect on your already unhealthy sleep schedule.

The change was tiring both physically and emotionally, but you were afraid that reality would have been harder to bear than any of those scenarios that your mind kept throwing at you when you were alone.

You told yourself you would make up for your wrongdoings once you had dealt with your feelings. You would spare no energy or money to make Gayoung forgive you, because what you were doing currently had to be easier to forgive than the truth: that somewhere along the way, you had fallen for her soulmate.

Aghrr… admitting this even just mentally felt like you had broken some sort of sacred rule, and you couldn’t help but think that divine retribution was coming for you when you caught a glimpse at Gayoung in front of the very vending machine you were heading to.

You acted without thinking and did a full 180.

‘Ouch!’ You yelped when you bumped into something firm, the impact turning your legs a bit wobbly as you tried to keep your balance.

‘Don’t you have eyes?’ The person swore aloud, his frustration clearly showing in his tone and his body language. You pressed your lips together out of embarrassment and bowed to soothe the stranger’s nerves. The last thing you wanted was him drawing everyone’s attention at the two of you.

Someone stepped close to you and bent down to pick up your phone. 

‘It was clearly an accident. And you weren’t paying too much attention, either, Mingyu,’ the same person, who was holding your phone in his hand, said. ‘Don’t be a dick.’

Your heart hurt when your eyes met Cha Eunwoo’s. Therefore, it wasn’t that surprising when his conversation with the other guy became background noise. You saw them moving their lips, you saw Cha Eunwoo bumping his elbow into the other guy’s ribcage, you saw the other guy’s tense shoulders falling forwards before they relaxed.

You wanted to run away. Moreso, because you were convinced that Cha Eunwoo was on his way to your best friend. But he was holding your phone hostage, so you stayed still and just waited with your eyes on the floor.

You had to get mentally prepared in case Gayoung noticed this commotion and walked up to the three of you. Were they already close enough to greet each other with a kiss? Gayoung had never been a player, but she wasn’t super conservative, either. Sure, she might have loved romance, but some of the stuff she was reading suggested that she might have been into some weird shit, so kissing in public shouldn’t have been a no-go.

Ah. You really shouldn’t have thought about your friend like that. You were the worst.

‘... before class?’

Your body twitched when someone touched your shoulder, and you almost headbutted Cha Eunwoo when you hastily lifted your head.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Are you?’ Cha Eunwoo tilted his head sideways, a lopsided smile adorning his lips. He looked amused, which was both surprising and expected because he had many friends. Of course, your absence hadn’t been that noticeable to him.

What had you been expecting? That he would hold you accountable for disappearing for a couple of days?

‘I’m just…’ you scratched the back of your head then nodded. ‘Yeah. I am.’

You had almost forgotten how it felt to stand under Cha Eunwoo’s scrutiny, and your fingers curled up into fists unconsciously way before your palms started to feel clammy. Why was he staring at you like that? Was he unhappy with your answer? Had you not sounded sincere enough?

‘Okay. Then let’s grab something from the convenience store before class.’

You were chewing on your lower lip by that point, ashamed of how happy you felt at the thought of hanging out with him without any additional company. You stole a glance at the vending machine behind your back.

Gayoung wasn’t there anymore. Yet, her absence didn’t make it easier to say yes. On the contrary, it was as if it pressed down on your chest, an immense weight of guilt.

‘I’m not hungry,’ you came up with the easiest excuse, and when you looked at Cha Eunwoo’s face again, his smile looked mellower.

You reached out to get your phone from his hand, and he hesitated. Yet, in the end, he placed it atop of your palm and covered it with his own, like it was a blanket.

‘I’ve something very important to tell you,’ he coaxed you with his hand still on yours, his gaze weirdly fixated on the area where your skins touched. Though, who were you to call him weird. You couldn’t take your eyes off his face, either.

You had no idea when the guy you had bumped into disappeared or how long the two of you were standing face to face with Cha Eunwoo in silence, but you did acknowledge the fact that it was him whose long fingers wrapped around your wrist like a bracelet when he pulled you towards the stairs gently.

You pulled your hand out of his grip on your way down to the ground floor, but you followed him to the convenient store inside the main building without further objection. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out what he wanted to tell you. They must have already made it official with Gayoung since most soulmate couples were formed upon their first encounter. When the universe itself was backing up your compatibility, there really wasn’t any reason to delay the inevitable.

Your parents had moved in together a week into their relationship. Your grandparents had gotten married the day they had recognised each other as their fated pair. This was the world you were living in. It was completely normal.

Cha Eunwoo took his time while he was choosing snacks, and you were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t even realised that one of the cup ramens was for you until he poured hot water on both and slid one of them towards you. You looked at it, surprised, before you lifted your head and turned towards him with your upper body.

‘Congratulations.’

Your nails were digging crescent moons in your palms, but you were smiling, because you couldn’t have pictured anything more pathetic than a congratulation with a depressed face. If Gayoung and you stayed friends in the future, you and Cha Eunwoo would see each other often, so you might have as well started to make up for all those times you had done him wrong.

You broke the wooden chopsticks in two and opened the lid of your ramen. It smelled delicious, and one bite from it was enough for you to realise it was your favourite flavour.

You didn’t expect the disappointed sigh that escaped the boy’s lips; however, your body reacted to his mood immediately, tensing up in no time. 

‘There should be a picture of osmium on my hand instead of your go-to matcha latte,’ he murmured under his nose, his words making no sense at all, and not just because you had no idea what osmium was.

You decided to act like you didn’t hear his complaint and kept munching on your noodles while staring out the window you both were facing. Concentrating on the students walking in the hallway was a nice distraction, though, it once again reminded you of how hard-working everyone else appeared to be except for you. It was almost funny how, despite avoiding the only people you had ever hung out with outside of your classes in university, you still didn’t spare enough time to catch up on your studies.

You could have visited the library tomorrow. Your new deskmate in Sociology 101 seemed to like the coffee one could buy in the vending machine right next to its entrance. Which brand was it again? Something Italian.

You smiled at the thought of authentic pizza and gelato. Maybe, you should have taken a year off university and traveled like you had planned in high school. Your savings were still in your bank account. You hadn’t touched that money since you had lost your soulmate, so it should have been enough for a few weeks in Europe.

The childish excitement that you had felt whenever you had thought about bumping into your soulmate on one of your trips reignited in your chest, although the flame wasn’t as all-consuming anymore. It wasn’t blue or violet but orange, just like the glowing embers of a dying campfire. 

You finished the rest of your ramen in silence then stood up to put the cup into the bin. Cha Eunwoo’s slim fingers wrapped around your wrist again, this time, a bit firmer.

‘I like you,’ he said as his thumbs started to slowly caress the inner side of your wrist. Your skin felt surprisingly sensitive around that area. Never before would you have thought that a touch so light could leave so many goosebumps in its wake.

You squeezed the empty cup in your hand and looked at him. He was staring at your arm, at the spot where your soulmate mark had once been.

‘I’m glad to hear that. It’s better for Gayoung, too, if we get along,’ you forced the words out despite the bitterness they left in your mouth, mad that Cha Eunwoo was expressing his feelings so easily when the way he described them cut like a knife.

On one hand, you were glad that he still thought of you as a friend, and that he didn’t hold a grudge against you for ghosting and avoiding him, but he could have put it differently, too, instead of making it sound like… Instead of making it sound like he liked you.

‘God, I knew that you could be one-track minded and stubborn, but this is starting to feel ridiculous,’ he shook his head, pulling you back down on the chair you had occupied a mere minute ago.

You didn’t understand what he was getting at. And you were just about to call him out on his strange behaviour when he unbuttoned the left cuff of his shirt.

‘Woah,woah, woah! What are you doing?’ You grabbed his hand on instinct when he started to roll up his sleeve, showing off his toned arm.

‘What does it look like? I’m trying to clear up a massive misunderstanding,’ he claimed, gently removing your hand from his arm, so that he could uncover the tattoo just below the crook of his arm: a cute drawing of a matcha latte and your initials.

But your brain was telling you that those initials could have been anyone else’s initials, that drinking a cup of matcha latte almost every day wasn’t that special these days, and that even if Cha Eunwoo’s soulmate was someone else other than Moon Gayoung, you still shouldn’t have been considered as an option.

You bit into your lower lip so hard, it bled.

‘That’s not me!’ You screamed at him, and when he tried to convince you of the opposite, the first angry tears ran down your flushed cheeks furiously. ‘I said that’s not me! Why can’t you just believe me, hah? Look!’

It was a decision that you hadn’t really thought through. You took off your sweatshirt so fast as though the knitted material was burning you and shoved your lower arm into Cha Eunwoo’s confused face.

‘That’s not me, and it’s not you! I lost him, okay? He’s gone. And he’s not coming back… ever. And I would rather…’ you choked on the last words, the unintended pause making you unsure of where you were going with this whole monologue. You would have rather… what? What had you been about to say? It wasn’t like you had become unable to feel attachment or love for anyone else. If that had been the truth, you wouldn’t have felt guilty for days for having feelings for your best friend’s soulmate.

(Who had turned out to be an incorrect match since Gayoung and you didn’t share the same initials.)

You shook your head. Why did you feel excited about the fact that it wasn’t Gayoung’s name on Cha Eunwoo’s arm? He still wasn’t yours.

‘I know. I know,’ Cha Eunwoo whispered against the top of your head and your eyes grew as wide as saucers because seriously, when had he stood up and pulled you against his chest in the first place?

You wanted to push him away, but your body melted in his arms.

He didn’t understand, he was just as stubborn as you were, and you had no idea what had given him the confidence to be sure of himself when your skin was devoid of any sign that there was someone out there waiting for you.

‘Gayoung told me about your soulmate,’ he started, and you flinched, upset that your best friend had shared something so raw, something so personal with Cha Eunwoo when it wasn’t her story to share. You clenched your fists, angry, but before you could have pushed him away, Cha Eunwoo spoke up again in a calm, collected voice. ‘I see it now that waiting for you to realise who I am was a miscalculation on my part. I didn’t know that your mark has never come back.’

You furrowed your brows and tilted your head, so you could look at his face. It didn’t help much with comprehending the situation, but his eyes looked determined as though he was ready to do anything to have the chance to explain himself, so you gave in.

You took a step backwards and sat back on the chair, maintaining some distance between the two of you.

‘I don’t understand what’s happening, so don’t spare me from the details,’ you told him in a cold voice, your cheeks still wet from those tears you had shed a few seconds ago.

It would have been better if you hadn’t had this conversation in the convenience store of your university - this specific store didn’t sell cigarettes and alcohol -, but suggesting a different place would have taken too much energy out of you, and you felt that you would need every drop of it if you wanted to stay until the end of his story.

‘When I was in high school, I died in a car accident,’ Cha Eunwoo’s calm voice reached your ears as he started to tell you about everything.

Apparently, he and his parents had been on their way home from a semi-spontaneous family vacation when a drunk driver had crashed into their car from the opposite lane out of the blue. It had been a head-on collision, therefore his parents had died on the scene, meanwhile, Cha Eunwoo had been rushed to the hospital, where he had been dead for a whole minute before the doctors had brought him back.

Cha Eunwoo didn’t have any other family members, both of his parents being an only child and his grandparents long gone, so he had been adopted by his father’s best friend. He had changed his name to get away from the constant rumours that had followed him after the accident, and had never thought too much about the consequences of this decision until Moon Gayoung had shown him her own tattoo with his new initials.

Naively, he had assumed that his soulmate would have recognised him anyway because of the comforting warmth that his own mark also emitted whenever he was around you.

‘Lee Dongmin. My birth name.’

Your heart ached at the realisation that the more detail he added to the story, the more it clicked with your experience. Even his birth name, the one his parents had given him, matched the tattoo you had used to look at with so much hope in your eyes.

When Cha Eunwoo took his phone out of his pocket and showed you a picture of himself in a hospital gown, limbs broken and face half-covered with bandages, your silent tears turned into a full on mental breakdown. You were shaking and crying, overwhelmed by all those emotions that tried to take control over your body at the same time: sadness, longing, anger, grief.

You must have looked like a crazy person from the other students’ point of view. At one point, you had stopped being able to pick up on anything that Cha Eunwoo was telling you, his voice muffled as though it was coming from under heavy layers of water. Still, you could feel that he was growing more and more worried. He might have even regretted choosing this very store for your conversation, not anticipating your overly emotional reaction to the truth. But that was just another miscalculation on his part because you had always been sensitive when it came to this topic.

You had thought he was dead. You had mourned him. But now he was telling you that he was alive this whole time, living under a different name?

He had lost his parents. 

You squeezed your eyes shut. No. Maybe he was wrong. He could have been mistaken in his deduction. Sure, the name he had given you could have been your soulmate’s and he did have a puppy similar to the one you had had as a tattoo on your arm. You drank matcha latte daily and your initials matched his mark, but…

Yes, he had been dead for a minute when that accident had happened and the date matched with the day your life had lost all colours, but…

You almost fell off the chair when another strong wave of emotions rushed through you, but Cha Eunwoo caught you at the last moment and apologised for everything you had been through when he whispered in your ear. He also apologised for his poor choice of location, for not telling it to you sooner, for waiting for a miracle instead of taking action.

When you accidentally touched his tattoo because of your close proximity, the black ink felt warm against your skin. It made you cry a little harder again until you exhausted yourself.

Cha Eunwoo supported you on your way back to the dormitory and when it was time for the two of you to say your goodbyes, for a second, you felt like he would kiss you, but he didn’t. He simply wiped the remains of your tears off of your puffy cheeks and apologised once more, making you promise to contact him and promising to make up for the heartache he had unintentionally put you through for the rest of your lives in exchange.

You felt out of place when you were waiting for the elevator inside the building. If you had to guess, you would have said that your brain hadn’t processed the truth just yet. You couldn’t feel unconditional happiness and you were burdened by something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. If you had had to compare the feeling to something, it was like when you weren’t sure whether you had closed the door after leaving your home.

When you got to your room, your roommate was nowhere to be found, but you were actually grateful for her absence. You dragged yourself to your bed and sat on the edge, looking out of your head.

Cha Eunwoo was Lee Dongmin.

Lee Dongmin was your soulmate. He wasn’t Gayoung’s. He was yours. And he wanted to be with you.

Suddenly, you recalled what he was murmuring under his nose at the beginning of your heavy conversation. Something about osmum. Omium?

You fished your phone out of your pocket and searched it up on the internet. Your spelling was incorrect, but it gave you a suggestion that sounded valid enough so you clicked on it. Then, the corners of your lips turned upwards upon seeing the results on your screen.

Osmium. Os, atomic number 76. It was a rare, hard, brittle, bluish-white transition metal, notable for being the densest naturally occurring element on Earth.

Hah! You had no idea, Cha Eunwoo could be such a nerd.

(But you had a lifetime ahead of you to discover this and all the other sides of him that made him your perfect companion.)

You and Dongmin have been friends for over twenty years now. His father was the CEO of a huge company, his mother was the CFO of the same company, and your mother was their housekeeper. She was also basically Dongmin’s nanny, tutor, and personal chef. Starting from the age of six years old, your mother worked out a deal with Dongmin’s parents so that every day after school, their personal driver would pick Dongmin up from his fancy private school, then drive to your significantly less fancy public school, and then drive the two of you back to Dongmin’s house, where the two of you would hang out and do your homework while your mother took care of things around the house until Dongmin’s parents came home.

This routine lasted until the two of you graduated high school. Over the years, the two of you had become close as could be, even hanging out on the weekends. There was never room for any doubt in your friendship; even though Dongmin had gone to Oxford University in the UK, which was arguably the most extra school he’d gotten accepted into (you had begged him to go to Columbia University so you could visit New York), you stayed home and worked in your father’s little corner store. But even so, Dongmin traveled home for every long weekend, every holiday, and every vacation he had. And he spent all the time he was home with you.

You’d done a lot of dumb things to get each other out of a lot of sticky situations in the past, but what he was suggesting now was a new low.

“Well, I don’t really think getting married is the best course of action.” You mused as you poured the hot water into the two waiting mismatched coffee mugs.

“You’re not listening!” Dongmin exclaimed as he hopped over the back of the couch and strolled into the kitchen, leaning on the counter as he watched you steep the tea.

“Then explain to me how this is a good idea.”

“Because. I’m pushing thirty now-”

“You’re twenty seven.”

“Pushing thirty. And my folks want to retire soon, and my dad wants me to take his place, which is like, what I’ve been shooting for since I was a kid. But my mom is pushing back because she thinks I’m not mature enough. She says that she won’t even think about letting me join the company until I’ve shown that I’ve settled down.”

“You go to the club literally every weekend. I think I might be on your mom’s side on this one.” You handed Dongmin his mug of tea and strolled into the living room, settling down on the couch, and picking up the remote to browse for a movie to watch.

“Yeah, but if I stop going to the club for a while and make it look like I'm in a serious relationship, then my mom will see how mature I’ve gotten, and let me join the company!” Dongmin gleefully relayed his plan to you as he stole the blanket from your lap and wrapped it around himself, curling into the other corner of the couch.

“And you think that us getting married is your best bet?”

“Not married! Fake engaged. There’s a difference.”

“Let me reiterate; you really think getting fake engaged to me is the best idea?”

Dongmin turned to you, confusion written all over his face, “yeah? You’re like, my best friend.”

“Well, duh. I just think your mom would prefer it if you got engaged to like, another rich girl.”

Dongmin rolled his eyes and snatched the remote out of your hand, scrolling for a moment before pressing play on a random nature documentary. “I think my mom would see it as a win either way. She’s been on my ass to get into a serious relationship since I started university. Which is totally unfair, by the way! Jinwoo hasn’t had a date since middle school, and he’s already on track to be the COO at his dad’s company. And Myungjun’s had like, twelve relationships in the past year and a half, and his startup is already turning a massive profit.”

“Rich people problems.” You sighed, watching as a lion on TV devoured a gazelle.

“Yeah, it is. But I never ask you for anything. I think you owe me. And I can’t keep working at Minhyuk’s parents company forever. It’s getting kind of embarrassing.”

You remembered all the times that Dongmin paid to have you flown out to England, paid for you to stay in fancy hotels, car service, room service, treated you to extravagant meals, the tens of thousands of dollars worth of birthday and Christmas presents he’d bought you over the years. And you realize, he’s right. You do owe him.

“Okay…We need a plan.”

Dongmin practically jumped out of his seat at your sudden agreement. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, reaching over to grab the remote, turning the TV down. “But we’re gonna need it to be airtight if we want this to be believable.”

“You’re the smart one. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

As you looked at Dongmin’s gleeful face, you almost regretted agreeing to his scheme. Dongmin saw the crease between your brows, and reached over to poke your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I know it’s kind of a lot.”

You brushed him off with a shrug of your shoulder. “No, you’re right. I owe you. This is honestly the least I could do.”

“Then let’s do this.” He grinned, holding up his pinkie finger in front of you. You playfully rolled your eyes with a scoff before linking your pinkie in his.

“Let’s do it.”

January 18th

“No, that one’s not big enough.”

You sighed as Dongmin rejected yet another one of your suggestions. “I’m the one who has to wear it, why do you have such a strong opinion?”

“Because I’m the one buying it!”

You and Dongmin were currently at a swanky jewelry shop searching for the perfect engagement ring. At seven in the morning. On a Thursday. Neither of you were in a particularly good mood.

“Shouldn’t you want a smaller ring, then?” You questioned his logic, looking up at him with a cocked brow.

“Hey, only the best for my future wifey-poo.” Dongmin made a kissy face at you, causing you to audibly groan in disgust, pushing his face away. You ignored his giggles as you felt your phone buzz. You saw the most recent text was from your father, asking you to come into work early to help him open his corner store.

“Okay. Well, I have to go to work.”

“Nooooo! You can’t make me do this by myself! The dinner’s next weekend and we won’t have time to meet up again before then.” He protested, grabbing your arm and bouncing on the balls of his feet like a spoiled child- which he was.

“I would say I trust you, but I don’t. You know my ring size, I don’t want anything big, I don’t want anything gold, do not get me anything square cut, and for the love of God, please just ask the lady at the counter for help instead of just buying me the first thing you see that you don’t hate.” You patted his shoulder and made your way out the shop, waving a goodbye to him over your shoulder. You could see Dongmin’s downtrodden expression in the reflection on the glass door as you left. You just hoped he would get you something understated. You would be having to wear it every day for the foreseeable future.

You and Dongmin had spent nearly three hours the other night working out your plan.

Dongmin had invited his parents over for dinner at his swanky penthouse next Saturday night. He’d hired a fancy chef to make the dinner, and a decorator to make his apartment look not so “twenty seven year old single man-child”. After the main course and right before dessert, he would stand from his chair and announce that he had something important to say. Then, he would turn to you, get on one knee, and propose with whatever hopefully not-ugly ring he’d chosen today. To which his parents would hopefully be overjoyed and proud, and after at most a few months, they’d realize how mature he’d gotten since getting engaged, and give him the job in their company.

You weren’t sure it would work, you weren’t sure how long it would take, but you were determined to go through with it. After all the amazing opportunities and experiences that Dongmin had given you over the years, you figured that the least you could do was pretend to be his fiancee for a few months.

January 27th

Today was the day he would propose. You’ve never been this stressed in your entire life. A package had been delivered to your door with a note from Dongmin inside, “Blue has always been your color.” You had been staring at the dress in the box for the past ten minutes, trying to not think about how many thousands of dollars he’d spent on it. He was right, though. He’d taken you to Japan for spring break a few years ago and the two of you’d gotten a color palette analysis done. You’d have assumed he’d forgotten all about it, but the beautiful navy dress on your bed proved otherwise.

You looked at the time on your phone, the numbers 4:27 glared up at you, eliciting a sigh from your mouth. The weight of your actions was starting to weigh down on your shoulders. Why did you have to agree to this? It’s not like you didn’t like Dongmin’s family- they were fine! From the limited interactions you’d had with them over the years and from what Dongmin’s told you about them, they were perfectly nice people. But it was only natural for you to be a little bit intimidated by them. They were wealthy, powerful people, and you were about to get “engaged” to their son.

You got ready slowly, almost unconsciously dragging out the process as long as you could. Your phone rang right as you were slipping on the sleek black pumps Dongmin had bought for you last summer while he was vacationing in Paris.

“Yes?” You picked up the phone, looking at yourself in the mirror one last time before meeting your doom. You looked good. Hopefully good enough.

“I’m waiting in the car. Are you ready?” Dongmin’s pixelated voice rang out through the phone. You grabbed your purse, put on your coat, took a deep breath, and walked out your door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Without another word, Dongmin hung up the call. You scoffed and dumped your phone in your bag. You silently thanked whatever invisible force was on your side that day, as the elevator in your building that had been broken for the past two months had finally gotten fixed. You were not looking forward to walking down six flights of stairs in those heels.

As soon as you walked outside your building, you spotted Dongmin’s fancy black car. You couldn’t see him through the tinted windows, but you knew it was him when his driver stepped outside and walked around the car to open the back door for you. You slid into the backseat where Dongmin was playing a game on his phone. He looked up at you briefly, mumbling a “Hey”, and going back to staring at the screen.

You rolled your eyes at your iPad kid of a best friend and rested your head on the window as the car drove through the busy city streets.

Twenty minutes later, you pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse. No matter how many times you’d been there, you would always be in awe at the massive building.

“You okay?” You turned to look at Dongmin as he spoke, meeting his eyes, seeing the concerned look on his face, you put on a smile, and lightly punched his shoulder as his driver opened the door.

“Of course. Not like I’m about to pretend to get engaged to my best friend in front of his family or anything.”

Dongmin didn’t look convinced as he took your hand in his before you had the chance to leave the car. “You know, it’s not too late to back out.”

His words didn’t do anything to quell the uncertainty in your stomach. But still, you put on a brave face and playfully rolled your eyes. “As if anyone else would be willing to get engaged to you.”

Your words seemed to sate Dongmin’s concern as he rolled his eyes in turn and shoved your arm, prompting you to step out of the car. You looked up at the tall building in front of you and took a shaky breath. It’s not like it was real. You didn’t actually have to get married to him or anything. It was all temporary.

“They’ll be here any minute. We should go up.” Dongmin’s warm breath on your ear caused you to jump, prompting him to flash you a confused look. You shook your head and followed him into the building, mentally hyping yourself up for the night that was to come.

|

“You look beautiful, darling.”

Dongmin’s parents had arrived ten minutes after you had, and you had been internally screaming the entire time since then. You were sat next to Dongmin at the table in his huge dining room with his mother sitting directly across from you. 

“Ah, thank you so much. You know, Dongmin bought pretty much my entire outfit.” You replied, doing your best to keep your shaky hands still as you cut through your expensive steak. You could see Dongmin trying to hold in his laughter in the corner of your eye. Clearly seeing you in intense mental turmoil was funny to him.

“Oh, our Dongmin has always been such a thoughtful boy.”

Thoughtful. Hilarious.

“Yeah, he’s great.”

“So, dear, are you still working at your fathers shop?”

You took a sip of wine and wiped your fingers on your napkin. “Yeah, I am. But I’m planning on applying to some jobs in corporate. Even if just working in the mail room or reception.”

“Oh! Well, I’m sure we could find you a job somewhere in our company. I’m sure I know someone that could use a secretary or assistant.” Dongmin’s father spoke up, causing Dongmin to choke on his wine. You lightly patted his back as he coughed into his elbow, offering a tight-lipped smile to his confused parents.

“That’s very kind, but you really don’t have to do that.” You spoke over Dongmin’s coughing.

“We’d love to have you in our company, really. You and your parents are practically family.”

Dongmin took a deep breath as his coughing fit came to an end. “Are you guys for real?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t we be?”

Dongmin stayed quiet for the rest of the main course, leaving you alone to continue awkwardly conversing with his parents, and ignoring every kick under the table that you gave him.

“So Dongmin, why did you set up this dinner, anyway?” Dongmin’s mother asked, leaning back in her chair as dessert was being made.

“Well…” Dongmin started. ‘Here we go’ you thought as your leg started shaking. “You know that the two of us have been friends for a long time.” He continued, taking your hand in his, looking at you with what anyone on the outside would see as fondness, but you knew from the look in his eyes that he was struggling to not burst out laughing.

“I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you two, but we’re ready to take the next step…” Dongmin rose from his seat and pushed it to the side, immediately dropping to one knee in front of you. He softly spoke your name as he looked up at you. You could tell he was about to lose it.

You heard his mother gasp from the other side of the table as he continued, “You’ve been by my side for as long as I can remember. You’ve been my best friend, my partner in crime, and my biggest supporter. We’ve been through every step of our lives together. But I want to go through the next part of our lives…With you as my wife.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that his speech was very sweet. But you did know better. And now you were the one struggling to hold in your laughter.

Dongmin reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, “Will you marry me?” He opened the box and your jaw hit the ground. He did good. He did really good. The ring was exactly what you wanted. It was a small round cut diamond surrounded by smaller gems on a beautiful silver band.

You ecstatically nodded your head, holding out your hand for Dongmin to slip the ring onto your finger. The two of you stood up and hugged each other tightly. “I asked the lady at the counter.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled into his shoulder before his mother spoke up.

“Well, it’s about time!”

The smiles immediately dropped off of your faces. 

…What?

The two of you pulled away from each other, slowly turning to look at his parents as they beamed at the two of you from across the table.

“The two of you have been attached at the hip since you were kids. It was only a matter of time.” His father agreed, holding his wife’s hand as the two of them looked up at you with an endearing gaze.

“...Huh?”

February 11th

“Oh yeah, my mom is throwing a valentine’s day party and she wants to know if you’re gonna be there.”

Dongmin was in your kitchen drying and putting away dishes as you washed them.

“Why would I be there?”

“...Because we’re engaged?”

“Oh, yeah.”

You hadn’t actually forgotten. You couldn’t now that your parents knew. As soon as your mother had shown up to work the day after the dinner, Dongmin’s mom was immediately gushing about the engagement that you had forgotten to let your mom in on. Your mom immediately called your dad to tell him about it, and then he immediately called you.

You couldn’t just tell them that it was a lie- they were just so happy about it, you didn’t have the heart to break it to them.

“I can’t just show up to my parents' valentine's party without my fiancée.” Dongmin whined as he put away your ancient cast-iron frying pan. You rolled your eyes behind his back.

“You don’t have to show up at all, actually.”

“Let’s be real for a second. There is no way that my mother will let me get out of going to one of her parties, and I really don’t want to go by myself.” Dongmin gave you his best puppy dog eyes, which caused you to physically hold yourself back from laughing in his face.

“Pleeeeease. I’ll buy you a new outfit for it. I swear to God, you’ll be the prettiest girl there. I’ll have to be constantly throwing hands to keep those gross corporate men’s hands off my gorgeous fiancée.”

“Whatever. I’ll go. You don’t have to buy me a new outfit.” You relented, drying off your hands before opening the fridge to grab a soda.

“You aren’t wearing your ring.”

You looked down at your left hand before looking back up at Dongmin, “Yeah. Our parents aren’t around, why would I?”

You didn’t see Dongmin’s pout as you flopped onto the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you settled into the squishy furniture.

“Okay, but I spent a lot of money on that rock. Also, didn’t you say it put off that creepy guy who works at the coffee shop?” Dongmin hopped over the back of the couch to sit right next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Well, yeah. I wear it in public. But why would I wear it when I’m in the comfort of my own home?” You moved his arm from your shoulder, opting to ignore the disappointed sigh that came from your best friend.

“I’ll take you shopping for the party tomorrow. Get you a cute dress and shoes or whatever.”

“You don’t have to spend money on me, Dongmin.”

“I don’t care. I want to.”

You glanced at Dongmin to see him pouting with his hands in his lap, watching silently as you scrolled through Netflix instead of snatching the remote from your hands and picking a show like he usually would. You sighed and laid your head on his shoulder, feeling his breath stop for a second before he rested his head on top of your own.

Dongmin is your best friend. He’s helped you so much in so many ways, and you genuinely would do anything for him, and you think he’d do the same for you. Ever since you agreed to get fake engaged to him, there was a thought in the back of your mind; “What if this ruins our friendship?” You pushed it aside at first, brushing it off as a stupid anxiety-induced worry. But every day since then, the thought has only grown more and more prominent.

“I’m free after two.”

You could feel the smile in Dongmin’s cheeks and he wrapped his arm around you, holding you close as you finally settled on a movie.

God, you hoped you were wrong.

February 14th

“Keep your eyes closed!”

“They are closed.”

“You better not be peeping.”

“This may come as a shock to you, but I actually really do not want to see you naked!”

You were in Dongmin’s bedroom getting ready for his parents' valentine's day party. You’d have gotten ready at your own apartment, but Dongmin had called you over to help him decide on what to wear, so you decided to just bring your clothes with you and get ready there. Which was probably a good idea, because unlike your apartment, Dongmin’s penthouse actually had a full-length mirror and good lighting.

Dongmin had taken you shopping the day before, and despite your protesting, bought you an inordinately expensive, albeit beautiful, blush-pink dress, and a pair of white pumps. They were beautiful, and although you appreciated Dongmin being so willing to spend money on you, you hated knowing the actual number that he was spending.

“Okay, you can look now.”

You waited patiently for Dongmin’s response after he opened his eyes, but he just looked at you with a blank stare. You looked down at yourself, thinking you might have forgotten to zip a zipper, or your dress had gotten stuck somewhere.

“What?”

“No. Nothing. It looks good.” Dongmin cleared his throat and pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly typing something before standing up and leaving the room. “You coming?” He called over his shoulder.

“...Okay…” You said under your breath, grabbing your phone from his vanity and following him out of the room. You felt Dongmin’s eyes on you as you put on your coat, looking up at him with a raised brow, he quickly turned away and busied himself with tying his shoes.

“Okay, let’s go.” Dongmin quickly hurried out the door, leaving you behind in a confused state. You shook your head before turning out the lights, setting the alarm system, and locking the door behind you.

You knew you were in for a long night.

|

“Well, aren’t you two just a beautiful couple!” Dongmin’s mother called the two of you out immediately as you walked through the doors to their impressive home. You were no stranger to the glamour and wealth of the Lee’s life, but it still threw you off to see so many beautiful, wealthy people all in one place. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, and her son with a tight embrace. You looked around the room to see some vaguely familiar faces; you recognized Park Jinwoo’s parents conversing with Dongmin’s father, and Yoon Sanha at the snacks table as expected. The rest of Dongmin’s friends that you were actually on a first-name basis with, Bin, Myungjun, and Minhyuk, greeted the two of you with a wave from the other side of the room.

“Well, you two have fun! We have food, drinks, desserts, whatever you like!”

“Thanks, mom.” Dongmin took your hand and led you over to his friends, meanwhile, the sudden realization that you hadn’t seen any of these people since long before your fake engagement hit you like a ton of bricks. You could see them smirking at the two of you as you neared. Dongmin felt the shift in your demeanor and he turned to look at you, your face had paled as if all the blood had drained from your face. 

“Just be chill.” He whispered to you as you neared the small group. You gave him a small nod, and quickly plastered a smile back onto your face.

“Hey guys how’s it-” Dongmin was cut off by Myungjun grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a shake.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us that the two of you were even dating! And now you’re engaged!”

“Yeah, man. How could you not tell us?” Minhyuk added on as Bin shook his head in disappointment at the two of you.

“Believe me, it was a surprise for us, too.” You joked as Myungjun turned to you and wrapped his arms around you in a back-breaking hug.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. I think we were just all surprised it took you two this long.” Bin smiled at the two of you as he took a sip of his champagne. You and Dongmin briefly made eye contact before awkwardly smiling at the group.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone’s been saying.” Dongmin slipped his hand back into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. You gave him a small smile, trying to give off the best “head-over-heels in love” vibe that you could. You weren’t sure how convincing you were being, but Dongmin always was a good actor. He’d make it work.

At some point in the party, you’d ended up at the drinks table, a champagne flute in your hand as you leaned against the wall, trying to recharge from being bombarded with questions and congratulations from people you’d never met. You weren’t sure where Dongmin had ended up- the last you saw, he’d been taken aside by Minhyuk’s father to talk about some business stuff that you didn’t understand nor particularly care about.

You were content with standing in the corner people-watching before someone you hadn’t spoken to for years sidled up to you.

“Well, don’t you look nice?”

You froze in place when you heard the voice of Park Jinwoo addressing you. You slowly turned your head in his direction. Shit. He looked really good. You’d had a little bit of a crush- no, you’d had a massive crush on him while you were in highschool. He was one of Dongmin’s closest friends back in the day, but you’d only seen him a few times since he’d gotten back from university. You thought he was really cute back then, but he’d really grown into his looks. He’d gotten a little bit taller (at least, he was a little bit taller than you, now), he’d gotten a nice haircut, you could tell he’s been hitting the gym, and from your many late nights staying up late stalking his Instagram, you knew that he’d gotten a few tattoos. And he’s single.

“Oh…Hey, Jinwoo. Nice to see you again.”

“No need to be so formal. We’ve known each other a long time.” Jinwoo stood next to you and leaned on the wall, mirroring your stance. “Congrats on the engagement by the way. Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Really?” You scoffed, taking a sip of champagne, “seems like you’re the only one who didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, I was under the impression that you were into someone else until now.”

His statement caused you to choke on your champagne. You cleared your throat and shook your head. Jinwoo stayed silent, simply smirking at you as he took a sip of wine. “Well, I guess you were wrong.”

“Guess so. It’s funny, I was so sure I was right. I mean, it’s not every day someone you haven’t spoken to in years likes one of your four-year-old Instagram posts at three in the morning.”

You were about to refute his accusation before you were cut off by a very welcome interruption. “You two enjoying yourselves?” Dongmin approached the two of you, a glass of champagne in hand, and an indecipherable look on his face. He stood right beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist, staring directly at Jinwoo.

“Just fine.” Jinwoo replied with the same smirk as before, taking a sip of wine as he eyed Dongmin. “You two look good together.”

“Yeah. We do.”

The vibe of the room had massively shifted since Dongmin had approached you two. His hand had moved down from your waist to your hip, and he was holding you tighter than ever. Your eyes darted between Jinwoo and Dongmin, waiting for one of them to say something, but they both remained quiet, their eye contact unwavering.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. See you at the wedding.” Jinwoo gave you a quick wink before flashing Dongmin a smirk and walking off into the crowd. You looked up at Dongmin who still had that look on his face. You’d never seen that look before.

“Let’s go.” He said, grabbing your hand and walking in the direction of the front door.

“Go where?”

“Home.”

“Whose home?”

“Mine.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be here.”

“Okay…But maybe we should say goodbye to your parents and friends first?”

Dongmin paused in his tracks, you could see him roll his eyes before nodding in agreement. He dragged you around the house to bid quick goodbyes to his family and friends before he walked the two of you to the foyer, helping you with your coat, and dragging you into his car. He’d driven the two of you there himself, and you were honestly worried that in his current mood, the night was going to end up with the two of you crashing into a tree.

You stayed silent for the first few minutes of the trip, your hands folded in your lap. You’d rarely seen Dongmin so irritated- his hands were tightly gripping the steering feel, and you could practically hear his jaw clenching. You felt like a scolded child the way you were so hesitant to say anything to him.

“Are you okay?”

Dongmin sighed heavily. Glancing over at you, his demeanor melting as he saw you staring at him with that concerned look on your face. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed, and he reached over to hold your left hand in his own, his thumb lightly brushing over your ring finger.

“I’m okay. Just tired, I guess.”

The two of you stayed silent for the rest of the drive to Dongmin’s penthouse. The car was filled with a tense air, even as Dongmin gently held your hand, you couldn’t help but feel you’d done something wrong.

The two of you made your way up to Dongmin’s apartment, turning off the alarm and kicking your shoes off as soon as you were in the door. Without a word, Dongmin went straight to his bedroom, leaving you sighing as you made your way to the guest room. Usually your apartment was the designated hangout spot, Dongmin always said it was more “cozy”, but you’d still stayed over at Dongmin’s enough for you to have a drawer of clothes in his guest room and a toothbrush in the bathroom.

You had been laying in bed for at least an hour at that point. You’d tried to sleep, you really had, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could have possibly said to make Dongmin act the way he did. So you resorted to scrolling on your phone to calm your mind, before you heard a light knock on the bedroom door.

You padded over to it, cracking it open to see Dongmin on the other side, nervously shifting his weight between his feet.

“Hey…” He whispered, leaning on the doorway as he looked around the room, doing all he could to not make direct eye contact with you. “I…I guess I wanted to apologize for being a total dickhead tonight.”

“Yeah…You kinda were.”

He smiled at the ground, his eyes still not meeting yours. “Well, I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know. I don’t really have an excuse.”

His eyes finally met yours.

“Are we cool?”

You let out a short laugh and rolled your eyes, poking his arm before responding, “we were always cool.”

He smiled fondly down at you, reaching his arms out, prompting you to lean into him and wrap your arms around his waist, your head comfortably resting on his chest. The two of you stood silently for a minute, his head resting on top of yours. Before pulling away, he gave you a quick peck on top of your head, flashing you a quick smile before taking a step back.

“Goodnight, fiancée.”

“Goodnight, fiance.”

You were friends. Best friends. You always would be. But you were starting to like hearing him call you that.

June 20th

You thought it would be over by now. You thought it would’ve been a few months, a couple family dinners, maybe a fancy corporate party or two, Dongmin’s parents would give him a job in the company, and you could call off your engagement and go back to your normal lives. And yet here you were, six months later. Still engaged- fake engaged. Every time you got together with Dongmin’s family, he’d whisper to you, “I’m sure they’re gonna give the news tonight.” and yet, they never did. And both of your families and all of your friends were still convinced that the two of you were a happy soon-to-be-wed couple. His parents had even spent Easter at your family’s house. It was starting to feel too real.

And now here you were, sitting in a private plane, getting ready to embark on an all expenses paid two week long vacation to Lake Como- where the Lee family apparently owned a large plot of property. Because of course they did. You hadn’t ever realized exactly how wealthy Dongmin’s family was until you’d gotten engaged to him, and you felt more insecure in your own life by the day because of it.

“You want some more champagne?” At the question, you removed one of your earbuds and looked up from the book in your lap to Dongmin, who was sitting across from you, headphones on with his iPad resting on top of the table between the two of you. You shook your head wordlessly, putting the earbud back in place and returning to the book that you honestly couldn’t have relayed the plot of even with a gun to your head.

Planes are so boring.

Dongmin smirked up at you as if he could tell what was on your mind. “Told you you should have brought your laptop.”

“Shut up.” You muttered, flipping to the next page as if you were actually reading. “Why would I want to bring my laptop when I’m going to Italy? I don’t know about you, but I’m intending to actually enjoy myself while we’re there.”

“I don’t think Dongmin could enjoy himself without bringing his iPad.” His younger brother piped up from the seat across the aisle. 

“You’re literally playing Roblox right now.” Dongmin rolled his eyes as he removed his headphones.

“You cannot stop me from grinding on Dress To Impress.”

“You’re like, twenty five.”

“Yeah, and I’m absolutely eating these little kids up.”

“That’s a disturbing sentence.”

“You’re making it weird.”

“Back me up here.” Dongmin addressed you, taking his headphones off and tossing them to the side.

You stuck your tongue out at him before tossing your book in the same direction as his headphones- you’d finally given up on trying to read.

“You’re the worst.” Dongmin sighed.

“You like it.”

“I don’t get you two.”

The two of you quickly turned to Dongmin’s brother, who was still staring at his computer screen, undoubtedly still beefing with middle schoolers on Roblox.

“What do you mean?” Your voice cracked slightly as you asked the question. You could see Dongmin grimacing at it from across the table.

“I mean, you two have been together for like, years at this point. But I’ve never even seen you two kiss.”

“Years-? I mean, yeah. But what’s your point?” Dongmin stumbled over his words, crossing both his legs and arms in a painfully conspicuous fashion.

“I don’t know, it’s just weird. Are you two on some like, hardcore, celibate, not even kissing until you get married shit? I find that hard to believe since you’re like, always at each other's apartments- also like, why don’t you two just move in together? I’ve been to both of your guys’ places, and Dongmin’s is like, way nicer. I don’t know, you guys just aren’t like, a normal couple.”

You were in shock at how hard Dongmin’s brother clocked you. You hadn’t thought of any of that. Why the hell wouldn’t you two have kissed? Normal engaged people kiss. The two of you had never even had your mouths anywhere near each other.

“I’m sorry I haven’t ever made out with my fiancée in front of my little brother. That’s not something I’m into.” Dongmin mused as he picked up his headphones from the floor of the plane, placing them back over his head and resuming his show. You let out a silent sigh of relief at his smooth recovery. 

This was going to become a problem.

June 25th

You hadn't realized that mega yachts were a real thing until this morning when you and the Lee’s packed into the fancy black car that picked you up at their summer home and brought you to the lake, where you were met with the largest boat you’d ever laid eyes on.

After being “confronted” about your strange relationship by Dongmin’s brother on the plane, that same night, you and Dongmin stayed up late in your shared room discussing ways to make your relationship seem more natural.

“Well, we can’t just like, make out in front of your family.” You mused from your side of the ginormous bed in the room that had been assigned to you and Dongmin.

“Normal people don’t make out with each other in front of their families, I don’t think.” He agreed from his side of the bed, “But maybe, we could just like, I don’t know, maybe give each other a little peck on the cheek once in a while. Or call each other stupid pet names like ‘babe’ or ‘sweet cheeks’.”

“If you call me sweet cheeks, I will kill you.”

“No sweet cheeks, then.” Dongmin tossed his phone across the bed and turned to look at you, propping himself up on his elbow. You turned to him with a raised brow, tossing your phone in the same direction.

“What?”

“This is fun.” He smiled up at you, twirling a loose string on the blanket around his finger.

“Is it really?”

“Yeah.” He whispered before turning his back to you and flicking the “off” switch on the lamp on his bedside table. You settled into your pillows and breathed out a heavy sigh. You were having much less fun with this than Dongmin was.

You were currently laying down in a lounge chair on the bow of the yacht in your swimsuit, pretending to watch Dongmin as he repeatedly jumped off the side of the boat and clambered back up, asking you each time to rate his jump and the following splash. Dongmin’s brother was in the chair beside you, arm over his eyes, probably taking a nap. You were going to have to wake him up soon to tell him to reapply his sunscreen.

“Babe, watch this!” Dongmin called out to you, prompting you to look over to him, your hand shielding the sun from your eyes so you could see your fiance’s grinning face as he took a few steps back, dripping water onto the freshly mopped floor. He ran forward and jumped off the boat once again, you could see him lurch forward right before he leapt in what you were sure was a poorly executed attempt at a front-flip.

You grimaced as you heard the splash- you had a feeling that he’d landed face-first. Your suspicions were confirmed as you heard coughing as Dongmin climbed up the side of the boat. As soon as he made it back onto the bow, he walked over to where you were laying, and sat down on the ground next to your chair, laying his head on top of your bare thigh. You patted his back as he continued coughing weakly- trying your hardest to keep from laughing at your friend.

“That was great. Ten out of ten.”

He looked back up at you, a look of pure disdain on his face. “I hate you so much.”

You giggled and ran your hands through his hair. He rolled his eyes at you as he rested his chin on your thigh, closing his eyes as you continued running your fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp in a soothing manner. You were worried that you were laying on the “head-over-heels in love” thing too thick, but your worries were immediately quelled as Dongmin’s mother entered the scene.

“You two are just so sweet.” She giggled as she approached you, tightly gripping her full glass of champagne.

“They’re disgusting.” Dongmin’s brother protested from his spot, finally waking up from his nap. 

“You’re just jealous.” Dongmin teased, discreetly flipping his brother off as his mother settled into her seat on the younger brother’s opposite side.

“You two have been all up in each other’s business since we landed. Is that Italian air really getting to you guys that much? My room’s right next to yours, I’m just glad you two are quiet when you bang.”

You were so sure he was onto you.

“You poor thing.” Dongmin mused as he wrapped his arms around your leg, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

His brother simply rolled his eyes and laid back down, placing his arm back over his eyes. You turned back to Dongmin, who was already looking up at you with a lazy smile. You hated these moments. The moments that made this whole thing feel like a part of it was real. Because why were you here on a yacht in Italy with his family, with his head on your thigh, and a ring on your finger if no part of it was real?

“I’ll be right back, baby.” Dongmin whispered as he stood up. He leaned over and gently put his hand on the side of your face, giving a short, sweet kiss to your forehead before going inside.

You watched as he walked back inside, trying not to lose your mind as you heard his mother drunkenly giggling from behind you.

God, you hated this.

July 5th

It was the night before the end of your vacation in Italy, and you just couldn’t wait to go home.

Sharing a bed with Dongmin every night of the past two weeks had been nothing short of torture. It wasn’t like he’d been all up in your space, and he didn’t snore- actually, he was very quiet and very respectful of the invisible line that you’d drawn in the middle of the bed, sticking exclusively to his side, and keeping all of his clothes on- despite the fact that you knew he usually slept in just his underwear.

But you often found yourself awake into the early hours of the morning just staring at his back, trying to push the random romantic scenarios about your best friend that your brain was making up into the back of your mind. You told yourself that it was all just because of the atmosphere. I mean, what else are you supposed to think when you’re sharing a bed in a romantic villa in Italy? You were just excited to go back home and sleep in your own bed. Alone.

But here you were, sitting out on the balcony that was attached to your room, glass of red wine in hand as you listened to Dongmin ramble on about something that you couldn’t pay attention to- not while the moon was out in full and it just lit up his features so beautifully.

“You know what I’m talking about?” Dongmin turned to you, his eyes scanning over your face that was undoubtedly just staring up at him blankly.

“Not really.” You hummed taking a big sip of your wine, your eyes met his and you immediately looked away, opting to stare out into the beautiful Italian nature instead of at your beautiful best friend’s face.

“You okay?” Dongmin asked softly, nudging your arm much softer than he usually would.

You took an even bigger sip of wine. “I’ll be okay. Just ready to go home, I guess.”

“Yeah…” He sighed, his eyes still on you. “It’s getting pretty late. You ready to go to bed?”

You were going to miss him saying that.

“Yeah.”

You got ready for bed as slowly as possible, dragging the process out as long as you could. You could feel Dongmin’s eyes on you as you slowly brushed your teeth, and again as you were brushing your hair, and again as you exited the bathroom after getting into your pajamas, and again as you climbed into bed.

The two of you laid there in silence in the dark until, simultaneously, you turned to each other. As soon as your eyes met each other, you could feel your eyes welling up. You didn’t want this to be over.

“You sure you’re okay?” Dongmin whispered, shuffling a little bit closer to you. In the moonlight peeking through the curtains, you could see the worried look in his eyes. You nodded quickly, staying still as he reached out to brush your hair out of your face. His fingers lingered over your jawline, causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. “You know, I’m really glad that you were able to come on this trip. I think I’d have gone insane without you here.”

“Yeah?” You whispered back, the feeling of his fingers on your jaw causing your mind to struggle to come up with a witty reply.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, moving his hand to stroke his thumb across your cheekbone, brushing away the tear that you hadn’t realized had fallen. “You’re the best fake fiancée I’ve ever had.”

Right. Fake.

“High praise.” You joked, causing Dongmin to flash you a grin that made your heart ache. You loved his smile.

“I love you, you know? You’re my best friend.”

Friend. Friend. You needed to hammer that word into your mind.

“I love you too, Dongmin.”

He ran his thumb over your cheek one last time before leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose, bidding you a goodnight, and turning back around- leaving you laying there, staring blankly at his back

You were so screwed.

December 21st

Eleven months. Eleven. Months.

You’d been engaged to your best friend for almost an entire year.

After your trip to Lake Como, things started to become more complicated. Dongmin’s parents had started asking the two of you to set a date and start looking at venues, menus, dresses, suits, flowers, honeymoon destinations, guest lists- you name it. Your acting in Italy had apparently shown them how “in love” you were with each other, and they were eager for the two of you to finally tie the knot. You had been holding them off by telling them that you wanted to wait until the new year for all of that, but they, especially his mother, were all too ready to get involved in the wedding planning.

You’d started hating being engaged to Dongmin. Every time the two of you were alone together, it just reminded you of your last night in Italy. The way he held your face so gently, and the way he wiped away your tear was constantly on your mind.

But you doubted he even noticed the tense air whenever the two of you met up, as he had been sulking since the end of the summer over the fact that his parents still hadn’t offered him a job yet.

But today was the day of his parents Christmas party, and he was so sure that they would offer it to him tonight. You had your doubts.

The two of you were getting ready in Dongmin’s apartment as you usually did for his parents' parties. You were wearing a beautiful forest green satin dress that you'd gotten as a bridesmaid for an old friend, and the same heels that you’d worn when Dongmin had proposed to you almost a year ago. You were waiting in the foyer for Dongmin to come out of his room, tapping your foot as the seconds ticked by.

“Alright, you ready to go?” He asked in a jovial tone as he entered the room, fixing the cuffs of his suit jacket. He looked up at you in anticipation and stopped in his tracks, his hand freezing on his sleeve as his eyes wandered over your form.

You stood there silently for a good few seconds, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t. “...Yeah?”

His eyes snapped up to your face and he slightly shook his head, dropping his hands from his sleeve. “Right! Okay, let’s go, then.”

He hurriedly turned off the lights and set the alarm before helping you with your jacket, and offering his elbow to you. You gave him a suspicious glare, but he just grinned at you, guiding you downstairs to where his driver was waiting.

|

You were drunk. But you felt the need to be even drunker. The two of you had been at the party for around an hour when Dongmin’s father tapped the side of his champagne glass and made an announcement: He was finally letting Dongmin into the company. At first, you turned to Dongmin ecstatically, pressing a firm kiss to his cheek and hugging him tightly. He’d wanted this for so long.

But then you remembered.

It was over now.

You and Dongmin had agreed in the beginning that you would be engaged only until his parents offered him a job at their company. You’d agreed to this. You knew this was coming. So why were you sitting in an empty room crying into your champagne?

You didn’t look up as you heard the door open, you were assuming that it was a drunk couple looking for some privacy until you heard a familiar voice speak up.

“Any particular reason you’re sitting alone crying into your champagne?” None other than Park Jinwoo asked as he sidled into the room, his hands tucked into the pockets of his beautifully fitting dark blue suit.

You tearfully chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “You know, I was just asking myself that question.” You looked up at Jinwoo who was leaning on his shoulder against an ornate bookshelf, looking down on you with a placid look on his face.

“Trouble in paradise?” He mused as he dragged his finger down the spine of one of the books.

You scoffed at him, leaning back in your chair as you downed the rest of your champagne in one gulp. “Something like that.”

“That’s a shame…He’s been head over heels for you since high school, so I can’t imagine what could have happened.”

Your eyes snapped up to him, he looked back down at you with a knowing smirk. “What do you mean by that, Jinwoo?”

He shrugged his shoulders casually, as if to brush off your question. “I don’t know. What do you think it means?”

“I’m so not in the mood for your bullshit.”

“Fair enough. Should probably be getting back to the party anyway.” He offered a hand to you which you rolled your eyes at before taking, allowing him to help you out of your chair. “You’d better get back to your fiance. It’s not a good idea for a pretty girl to be drunk and alone at a party.”

Jinwoo didn’t let go of your hand until the two of you were out in the hallway. He gave you a one-armed hug, smirking into your ear, “well, speak of the devil.”

You turned to see Dongmin standing at the other end of the hall, staring at the two of you, an undoubtedly shocked expression casted over his face.

“See you later.” Jinwoo turned and gave you a wave over his shoulder, leaving you standing in the hallway, swaying slightly. You shouldn’t have chugged that glass of champagne. But as soon as you started to feel a little too dizzy, Dongmin was by your side, his steady hands holding onto your waist.

You leaned into him with a deep sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck. As soon as the side of your face made contact with his chest, you felt your eyes welling up. He gently stroked the back of your head, confused at your demeanor, but wanting to offer whatever comfort he could nonetheless.

He pressed his lips to the top of your head, gently rubbing his nose into your hair. “What’s wrong, baby?”

You choked back a sob as you pressed your face into his chest even harder. “Please don’t call me that.”

His hand went still on the back of your head. “Why?”

You took a shaky breath, bringing your hands to his back, gripping into his suit jacket. “Cause it’s over now. Right?”

Dongmin stayed silent, opting to continue gently stroking your hair instead of responding, letting you cry off your makeup into his expensive suit.

“I think I should take you home.” He said to you softly, gently unwrapping your arms from around his body. You sniffled and feebly attempted to wipe away the tears from your face, not daring to look Dongmin in the eye. You nodded at the ground and allowed him to guide you to the front door and help you put on your coat. 

“Stay here for a second. I’m gonna go say goodbye to my parents.” You nodded gently, staring down at your shoes. You’ve never felt so pathetic in your life.

Dongmin returned a minute later, gently taking your hand and leading you to the car. The two of you sat in silence, Dongmin running his thumb over your knuckles, and you, staring out the window, not even bothering to wipe the tears that were running down your face.

You knew it had to come to an end eventually. You always did. But it still hurt.

The car pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse, and you mindlessly let Dongmin lead you up to his apartment. Your brain was practically dead at that point. He could have been taking you to an old abandoned house to murder you and you wouldn’t have noticed, nor would you have particularly cared.

You let him help you take off your jacket and heels and lead you to his room. He motioned for you to sit down on his bed, which you did, flopping onto it, laying flat on your back, folding your hands over your stomach in an attempt to soothe its churning. Dongmin sighed as he watched you lay down, taking off his suit jacket, shoes, and tie, and sitting down next to you.

“Do you want the ring back?” Your voice cracked as you asked the question, your eyes threatening to shed even more tears. Dongmin sighed as he leaned back, laying down next to you.

“No. I bought it for you.”

Your lips trembled at his words, you quickly wiped away the tears that had started to spill. “I don’t want this to be over.” You finally choked out, your hand covering your mouth to stifle your sobs.

“I know.” Dongmin replied gently, reaching over to wrap his arm under you, prompting you to roll over and dig your face into his chest. “It’s okay.” He whispered as you cried into him. “You’re just drunk. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

Dongmin held you tighter at those words, his brow furrowing as you said it. “You’re not going to lose me, baby.”

“I just want to stay with you.”

“We’ll always be together.”

“It’s going to be different now.” Your tear ducts had finally run dry. You just felt defeated now. Dongmin still held you just as tight as before, one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your head.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it does.”

This time it was Dongmin’s turn to cry. Yet, he smiled. “I love you.”

“God, don’t say that to me.” You sighed into his neck, rubbing your sore eyes as tears continued to run down Dongmin’s face.

“No, but it’s true. I love you so much.”

You pulled away, he was starting to confuse you. You propped yourself up on your elbow to get a better look at him. Your confusion grew as you saw him smiling up at you through his tears. “What are you talking about?”

Dongmin leaned up and reached for your face, holding it in the same way he had during that night in Italy, his fingers on your jawline and his thumb stroking your cheek. “I don’t want this to be over, either.”

“...Are you drunk?”

He grinned up at you and brought his other hand to your cheek, looking at you with a kind of fondness you’d never seen on his face before. “Definitely not. I just love you.”

“Dongmin, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that a few times.” You replied, sitting up fully, Dongmin following you, still holding your face. “But what do you mean?”

Dongmin gently smiled down at you, one of his hands trailing down from your face to take your left hand, gently sliding the ring off your finger. Your heart dropped as he did so, tears once more threatening to start spilling from your eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

Your breath hitched in your throat, you completely froze in place as Dongmin slid off the bed and onto the floor, kneeling in front of you, still holding your left hand in his gentle grip.

“..Huh?”

He chuckled at you fondly, his eyes filled with nothing but adoration, and love spread across his face.

“I want to marry you. For real.” His eyes and smile softened as you stared down at him in shock, “At the start of this, I really did just see this me asking you for a favor. I really thought that at the end of this, we would call off the engagement, and go about our lives as normal. I didn’t expect this to go on this long, and I never expected to realize that I was in love with my best friend, but I did. I think I realized it for the first time in Italy. I loved going to sleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning, I loved seeing you with my parents and my brother, I loved sitting on the balcony drinking wine with you, I just loved spending every minute of every day with you. And it made me realize that I love you. As more than a friend. And I think I always have.”

He shifted in his spot on the floor, nervously looking up at your confused stare. He really hoped he wasn’t making a mistake by telling you right now.

“It made me realize that I wished this was for real. So, do you want to make it real?”

Just as he was starting to think that he was making a massive mistake by confessing his love to his best friend, you quickly slid off the bed onto the floor, and hugged him tightly, causing him to fall backwards onto the carpet.

“God, I love you so much.” You whispered into his neck, holding him tighter than you’d ever held anyone. He was smiling so hard, he was sure his face could have gotten stuck that way. He hugged you back just as tightly before pulling back and grabbing your face, causing your eyes to meet his.

“So is that a yes?”

“Obviously. Yes!”

Dongmin grabbed your left hand, sliding the ring back onto your finger before his hands quickly went up to the sides of your face and his lips collided with yours. Your hands gripped the back of his shirt as your lips moved against his, fighting back the happy tears that welled in your eyes.

Dongmin pulled back for breath, breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against yours. He opened his eyes and met yours, “I love you.”

“I know.”

the two of you giggled quietly before your lips met again.

December 22nd

You woke the next morning in Dongmin’s bed, your dress and his suit lay wrinkled on the floor. You groaned into the pillow and turned to your side, almost jumping as you were met with the face of your fiance sleeping soundly next to you.

You smiled softly, brushing his soft hair out of his face, admiring his features in the early morning light.

His eyes fluttered open slowly, reaching up in confusion to grab your hand that was lightly grazing his face. He smiled warmly and leaned into your hand as soon as he realized it was you. “Good morning.” He groaned, his deep morning voice causing your stomach to flutter.

“Good morning.” You replied gently, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He looked up at you softly, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand before slowly sitting up and tossing back the blankets.

“How about I make us some pancakes?” He called over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Sounds good.” You stretched and sat up as Dongmin turned on the shower in the other room.

“You coming?” He called out, you smiled and shimmied out from the blankets, your feet meeting the soft carpet on the floor.

“Just a second!”