angel girl

love is really all I aspire to—to be or to have. my mother is deeply disappointed in me for this, and equally as deeply confused. im not enough for her. she thinks i can do much better than love. but i never thought i could ever be enough to or for love. for me, love is more than i ever could’ve dreamed of or hoped for. i grew up in a place where real love couldn’t live. i lived where love couldn’t, and that’s where i belonged. any semblance of love i get now i hold on tightly too with both my hands until my eyes start to water and i forget what im grasping on. and then i wonder once again where everything went wrong, when what i once grasped, held so dearly, slipped through my fingers like a palmful of sea water. i am lost without love.