wonder

The moments that define lives aren’t always obvious. They don’t always scream ledge, nor do they howl at you in warning, and nine times out of ten, it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed at all. Because what is a life? Is it a sequence of moments, or the sum of its parts? How do we know what’s about to happen next, how do we sidestep ourselves before we fall into something huge, and how can we…

so why do significant figures on a pay check and the digits of the scale make you feel that ineffable heaviness in your chest–

how many times have you heard people say with envy, “i wish i was better.”

“better at what?” 

but they don’t have to answer, because you had answered subconsciously and now all your thoughts are resonating through your body, your mind marking every inch of imperfection.

then onto your life - you start to wonder if you have anyone at all, anyone that cares for you.

why couldn’t i have gone to a more prestigious school? why did i take this god awful job?

if only i had —

no.

this is where you must stop.

life shouldn’t be filled with ‘if only’s and ‘what if’s because even though there are those out there who may be more fortunate, there are also those who are less

keep that in mind

your value is not and will never be determined by numbers.

numbers are used for counting. and your value is immeasurable. 

but okay, for now let’s pretend like you’ve got something you wanted - it could be anything; more digits in your bank account, let’s say.

then what?

will you truly be content after that?

maybe for a while, right?

but you’ll never stop comparing yourself to others, and you’ll want more and more and more.

this thought will make you sad.

and sadness is like a single, poisonous vine.

don’t let it crawl under your skin and rope around your heart and your lungs.

and i know you can’t wave a magic wand or master hypnotism to make all your problems disappear but

i promise there’s someone out there who will keep you anchored, and i know that they will try their absolute hardest not to let the chaos consume you

“why?” you ask.

well, why else?

they love you.