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checking your account for the nth time with yearning eyes for more cheating gojo fics...
you guys do need my help because this is totally unacceptable. iâm on my way.
ok but seriously, i was going to write a two paragraph drabble for you but then i donât know what the fuck happened because it became this full fledged fic that i will be posting soon sooo yeah be on the look out for that :D
as for a sneak peak, all i can say is that weâve unlocked a new character: mei mei.
toji's favourite sex position !
breeding, choking, slapping, spitting, degrading, praising, baby trapping, squirting! <3
toji had almost nothing to his name, so when he saw you in the club, flaunting a wad of cash that easily summed up to almost 10,000 bucks like it was nothing, he immediately found the next girl he'd set eyes on; his next victim to fund his life and gambling addiction.
the process of getting into bed with you was far too easy, just a little bit of sweet talking, a little praise, and a promise to give you the best dicking down of your entire life, had you mewling and clawing at his shoulders.
toji was similar to a bed bug: he hopped from girl to girl to ensure that he had a roof over his head without doing any hard work. so when he had you, one of the richest girls in the entire country, under him whilst his cock was balls deep in your perfect cunt, there was only one thing he could think of doing: breeding you.
"you like this dick?" toji's large hand wraps around your neck, thick fingers squeezing either side of your neck - small white dots start to cloud your vision. your cunt flutters around his cock as you nod pathetically, eyes rolling back into your head.
"i asked you a question baby girl, answer when daddy talks to you," toji's hand moves from your neck to slap you across the face, leaving a dark red hand print on your cheek. you moan, legs going like jelly as you claw at his back.
"love-love your dick daddy, so deep," you mewl, head tilting to the side before toji suddenly stops and lifts your legs over his shoulders. you sob, tear filled doe eyes finding his in a silent plea for him to continue pounding you. "please daddy, please fuck my dirty cunt,"
"desperate whore," toji slams his cock back into you in the new position, the mating press, your legs were lifted so far up your back was almost arched off the bed. your stomach bulged with just how deep his thick cock was stretching you out.
your mouth hangs open, your eyes cross in the middle as each moan is literally fucked out of your body. "does that feel good baby? your rich pussy being fucked with some street cock? isn't this what you needed? some dirty man putting his paws in this million dollar pussy?" he grabs your jaw with his hand, parting your lips fully and spitting into your mouth.
you can barely muster up a response with words, only clenching and fluttering around his length as a thick rim of white cream starts to form at his base. " gonna stuff this cunt full of my cum, make you round with my kids," toji moans into your ear before ducking his head down to suck a dark hickey into your neck.
the possibility of his future being filled with money and a fancy car makes the thought of knocking you up far too enticing. his balls tighten, forearms barricading each side of your head as he dumbs his entire hot load inside of you.
you gasp, clawing at his back, "to-daddy, should of pulled out!" your sentence is half formed, slurred, and barely even coherent as your own orgasm rips through you thanks to toji's thumb rubbing at your clit. his cock is forced out of you as you squirt all over him, and the sheets.
"sh-shouldn't have fucked you," you sob, attempting to push him off even as you come down from your orgasm.
it was true, what people said about your boyfriend and utahime. they did look good together. it wasnât surprising that people forgot you were dating gojo; you were always the quiet, overlooked type while he was the outgoing, carefree type who was always stopping to talk to a friend on campus. he was hot and extroverted; everyone loved him. and utahime? well, she was his counterpart and the complete opposite of you. utahime was confident and always put together. it was no wonder that she was just as popular as gojo. you could tell why people shipped them togetherâ hell, you couldnât even blame them. they both looked like models and who doesnât love to see hot people dating each other?
despite the contrast between you and utahime, and how she naturally matched gojoâs aesthetic, you never felt threatened by her. you and gojo worked so well because you were different. which was exactly why you had no problem with inviting her into gojoâs bed.
it didnât bother you to see gojo hold onto utahimeâs hips as she sank down on your boyfriendâs cock. in fact, it thrilled you. they did look good together. utahime grinded against gojoâs cock with a finesse that had you as mesmerized as gojo. his hands groped her taut ass, groaning as she rode him. your fingers worked fast along your clit, mimicking utahimeâs speed as you watched them.
you were secure enough to admire the way gojo fucked her. it was different from being the one involved with him. you had a front row seat to watching your man pleasure a woman, the same way he pleasured you. it was intoxicating and made you squirm, grinding against your fingers harder, desperate for a release that he was giving utahime instead. you wished he was thrusting into you, jealous of her for the first time in your life and it only made you more wet. the combination of jealousy and arousal was nothing you had ever experienced before and you wanted more.
utahime moaned softly as gojo thrusted his cock up into her, his blue eyes focused on where his cock slid into her cunt. him almost forgetting you were even in the room only heightened your arousal, pushing you to closer to the edge. fuck, you didnât know how badly you needed this until now. this was meant to be a threesome, but you were starting to realize just how much you liked watching, how much you liked being cucked. and with the way gojo was ignoring your existence, it was clear he liked cucking you too.
maybe you were about to see a lot more of utahime than you ever thought you would.
husband!nanami calms you down after you have a meltdown trying to find something to wear
warnings. fem!reader, body worship, praise, kissing, clit play, body image issues, nipple play, implied plus sized reader but read how you like, general insecurities, fluffy smut. nsfw 18+ mdni.
ââââ ŕ¨ŕ§ ââââ
Youâd been trying to get dressed for the last hour.
More precisely, youâd been trying to find anything at all that didnât make you feel bloated, or oddly proportioned, or downright ugly to wear to your husbandâs very important work event, which also just so happened to be happening very soon.
Youâd torn your shared wardrobe apart. Scattered every dress or piece of party attire you think youâd ever owned across every square inch of your bedroom, and yet here you stood, buck naked aside from the old band shirt youâd tugged on in a furious fit after the last dress youâd tried on had made you feel like a trussed up Christmas turkey.
With tears prickling hotly in your eyes and a sob threatening to break free in your throat, you tossed yourself onto your bed. Wallowing amidst a plethora of abandoned gowns and several shoes missing their pairs.
Your husband, for all his patience and tact, had remained at your side throughout the ordeal. Silent aside from a few well intended comments which, by no fault of his own, had only left you spiralling further.
He now settled onto the bed beside you, a quiet, steady presence. You listened to the gentle creak of the mattress dipping beneath his weight as he leaned over you, studying your expression with a concerned one of his own.
âKento,â you huffed, âIâm trying to- ahâŚâ
The sudden heat of his fingers stole any further words from you, his hand slipping between your bare thighs with a precision that was almost alarming.
âI know sweetheart, I know,â he soothed, like his fingers werenât beginning to tease over your clit, rubbing slow firm circles into you, âbut youâre going to work yourself into a state.â
Your jaw was slack, glossy eyes downturned just to watch his wrist curl between your thighs, which had split almost immediately either side of his forearm.
âJust relax for me, just for a minute.â
The circles he was drawing were beginning to sound wet, sloppy where you were easing into his touch, body betraying you in favour of the delicious friction of his fingers.
âThatâs it, thatâs my good girl,â he cooed, leaning in to brush his lips over your throat, feel the gentle hum of your pulse against his lips as his spare hand thumbed at the hem of your shirt.
âYouâre worried over nothing, you look beautiful in everything.â
You shook you head limply, but he didnât back down, instead the hand petting at the hem of your shirt stilled, then lifted, slowly peeling the fabric up. The reveal was slow, inch by inch new of skin - your hips, the curve of your belly, the soft peaks of your chest - until your entire abdomen lay bare atop the crinkled sheets.
âKen,â you huffed, lower lip pushed out into a pout as you blinked down at your exposed body past the crumpled neck of your shirt, the same valley of bumps and dips and curves that were the very source of your agitation.
Nanami ignored your argument, instead lowering his chin to press a slow, open mouthed kiss to your stomach before he eased back to reply.
âWhat is it my love?â He questioned innocently, breath curling warm over your bare stomach, sticky where heâd left glistening lip prints.
âStop,â you managed, though it was evident that your heart wasnât in it, much to preoccupied in watching the way his lashes fluttered as he pressed another kiss to your skin, this time just below the curve of your breast where your heart was fluttering like a caged canary. âitâs embarrassingâŚâ
âEmbarrassing?â Nanami echoed, lifting his head to meet your gaze, âYou really want me to stop?â
The hand petting between your spread thighs slowed, and he blinked up at you with those tired, beautiful eyes that made your chest ache. The simple sight of that endless honey brown was enough to melt you, gazing into your eyes like youâd hung the very stars.
You found yourself shaking your head, and the corners of his lips lifted into a smile, worried lines worn smooth between his knitted brows.
âThen youâll have to allow me a few kisses, deal?â
The movement of his hand resumed, dipping down just far enough to gather some of your wetness before he was pressing the slick pads of his fingers to your clit again, rubbing in sweet tight little heart shapes now.
âOh⌠okay, okayâŚâ
You sighed and let your head fall backward, nestled between pillows as your eyes fluttered closed and you allowed yourself to wade deeper into the soothing bliss he was offering.
Nanami worked dutifully below your line of sight. Fingers rolling in sinful strokes, each press of his lips bolder than the last until finally they sealed flat around a perked nipple and he began suckling lightly.
You arched into the sensation, spine curved and chest lifted to meet the wet heat of his mouth as he moved.
âOh, KenâŚâ
He groaned softly, the sound thick with adoration. His teeth grazed gently over the sensitive bud before he moved to the next and administered the same treatment. Laving a fresh burst of kisses over the swell of your breast before sucking the pebbled nub into his mouth, tongue swirling beneath the vacuumed pressure.
You found yourself teetering on the edge much quicker than youâd have liked to admit, testament to just how on edge you were, and how well your husband read your body. With the steady rub of his fingers and the hot press of his lips peppering your skin, the sticky heat blooming in your belly peaked swiftly - tightening to a coiled knot which snapped with the next well placed nip of his teeth.
Nanami worked you through it, fingers slowing but not stopping until you whined, crossing into the realm of overstimulation, and he lifted away to instead trace gentle shapes into your twitching thigh.
In the sizzling afterglow you lay panting into the messed sheets, head tilted to take in the sight of your husband as he adjusted his frames and smoothed your shirt back over your chest. Not missing the way his eyes caught on the sight of his sucking marks blooming over your skin.
âYouâre too good at that, Ken,â you breathed, voice utterly softened by pleasure.
âNot too good,â Nanami replied smoothly, leaning in to speak the next words against your lips, âexactly what you deserve.â
With that he lifted his chin to press a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, though it landed wayward when you tilted your head to instead capture his lips in a cheeky kiss.
He indulged you, let you hum into his mouth, run your tongue over his lips until he yielded. You shivered when his lips parted, and you finally felt the silky heat of his tongue against your own.
He split from you as the kiss deepened, just shy of too heavy to pull back from. Though he looked a little pained by the notion, cheekbones and the tips of his ears dusted a sweet rosy pink.
âWhat about the blue dress?â You offered, lifting your hand to tuck a stray strand of gold behind his blushed ear, âthe silk one, the one I wore to your office party last spring.â
Nanami exhaled, and all the weight of the world seemed to melt away with the motion. His head tilted into your touch, where your knuckles had abandoned his hair in favour of drawing slow soothing lines over his cheekbones.
my thoughts on gojoâs sexuality and relationships that nobody asked for:
heâs bisexual
he loves it when people fawn over him and compliment him. he let miwa take a selfie with him and he was eating up the attention from the schoolgirls in hidden inventory. born for shoujo romance, forced to battle shonen. i think he would definitely engage in friendly flirting and banter, if he was single.
he has been in love with geto the whole time. maybe they dated during school or maybe they didnât, but gojo definitely pined over him from hidden inventory arc, and all the way until he died. he recognized geto by scent, âmy six eyes tells me youâre suguru geto, but my soul knows otherwise,â his last words to geto being 3 words in english, censored, and made geto blush. he literally let geto walk away, didnât want to kill him, picked getoâs death anniversary for the final battle, to which kenjaku said would be a âromanticâ date.
i donât think gojo had any other serious relationships and i donât think he wanted to, not even just because of geto. heâs a workaholic. his whole life, day to day, revolved around being a jujutsu sorcerer because he was the strongest and because he wanted to make a change via teaching his students. so a) i donât think he ever cared about someone romantically as he did geto, b) i donât think he had the time, and c) i think he knew he would always have to prioritize his job over a romantic partner đ after hidden inventory, he either occasionally met and hooked up with geto or he had other casual one night stands just to satisfy any needs he may have had (i like to think itâs the former).
heâs loyal as fuck. he would never cheat. i write it because i want to, not because i think itâs in character for him.
gojo bottoms. heâs the strongest and already does everything, let someone else (geto) take the reins in bed. also, heâs not a twink. mappaâs teen!gojo does not reflect the manga; he was always buff and taller than geto. this is my truth and i will die on this hill.
gege said if gojo wasnât a sorcerer, heâd be a sugar baby, basically. i think gojo would like to be spoiled. little things like surprising him with sweets and candy that he likes would warm his heart. heâd be moved if someone tried to pay for him, despite him being loaded. heâd probably blurt out âi love youâ if someone brought him homemade brownies.
he would leave (stupid) love notes. theyâd be really short with his little doodles and poorly drawn hearts. itâs the childish type of note that one rolls their eyes at receiving but secretly cherishes. i like to think the ones he gives his partner is a little more in taste than the ones heâs given to nanami and megumi though, lol. unless itâs geto; he definitely left geto even more immature notes.
he sends corny romantic posts and says âus.â and if he really wants to be annoying, heâll tag his partner in the comments too.
he loves pda. he would kiss and hold hands with his partner in public. he has absolutely no qualms about being caught making out or having a hickey peeking out of his shirt, or his partnerâs. he would (jokingly) brag about having a loving relationship. gojo, after seeing nanamiâs sour mood: âmaybe you just need to get laid.â
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CW DUBCON SPIT AGE GAP TEACHER STUDENT RELATIONSHIP SLAPPING BALL SUCKING
four fingers come down harsh on your cheek, your professor glaring down at you disapprovingly. the scars along his left side should've told you all you needed to know about him; the eye patch only added another layer to what he'd been through. he was rough inside and out, violent and mean and downright nasty.
professor nanami had no time to think about anyone other than himself. an infamously tough professor, he'd only chosen education as a career around his 50th birthday when he was supposed to 'settle down'. he was thankful that a college would even hire him with his looks and personalityâthe other things he did during his tenure were just a bonus.
a violent gag erupts from you around the head of his cock, hands tapping his thighs to tell him to let you go, but he chooses otherwise. he likes how repulsed you are by this, by him, and he looks forward to how much you'll hate yourself after it's over.
you are unfortunately his favorite type of person to pick onâbright students who've never had a challenge until his class. girls who look at the world with big eyes and optimism because they don't know the reality of how fucked so many people around them are. he likes to toy with girls like you. sick fuck.
he found it humorous how you'd desperately shown up to his office, the only person brave enough to do so, asking how to improve your grade before the semester ended. he couldn't gauge how you'd feel about his requestâwith some of his former students feigning disgust to some who didn't think twice about sucking his cock, dropping to their knees and begging pretty please, dont let me fail. however, if god has graced with the ability to keep his job this long despite his digusting habits, why would he get fired now?
globs of spit stain nanami's slacks and the leather desk chair below him, all from the desperate student he has in front of him, choking on his cock. nothing feels better than a tight throat and a sensitive gag reflex to him, he basks in how fucking gross he can make others. spit and snot and tears galore stain his lap and your face, scarred palm and fingers pressing down on the crown of your head, another wet retch leaving your throat, vibrating against his shaft.
black spots go in and out of your vision from the abuse your head has taken, you can't remember the last time he'd let you up for air, or to give you a break. you are dizzy and disoriented, only focused on breathing through your nose even though it burns, and your jaw aches so terribly it feels like it may rip in half.
he likes the struggle he puts you through, how your fingernails dig into his thighs, scratching against the cheap material of his slacks. nanami wonders if you'll be able to rip through them, since you certainly have the spiritâbut with his dick shoved down your esophagus and his hand on the back of your head, your strength is being used elsewhere.
another sickly heave expels from you, sounding as if you're about to leave your lunch all over your professor's carpetâonly then does he ease up on his hold. drops of saliva and precum and salty tears get coughed right onto nanami's crotch, covering the bottom of his button up and his dick in more of a mess. you're only allowed to catch your breath for a few seconds before his hand curls around the back of your head, pulling you back towards him, forcing you to kiss the hairy patch below his cock.
"suck."
deep, heaving breaths are all that nanami's met with, hot and humid against his balls but still lacking what he wants. his other hand goes back to the crown of your head, fingertips digging in and pushing you further against him, nose and mouth shoved into his ballsack, cutting off your airways until you do as he says.
"i said suck," nanami gruffly demands, finding sick pleasure in the way your eyes widen at him in terror, horrified of doing this for another thirty minutes. your lips finally open up and you begin to barely suckle at his balls, not nearly enough for his liking. rough knuckles grip at the hair on top of your head, pulling you back from between your professor's thighs for a moment, and a sharp smack rings through the room.
your first instinct is to cup your cheek, skin stinging from his backhand, your jaw dropping wide in surprise. when you attempt to pull from his grip, he shoves your face right back in between his legs, hoping your shocked expression can aid you in getting him off.
"fucking suck," he commands, not asking or pleading, but forcing, finishing off his demand by grumbling, "stupid bitch."
your face is partially covered by his cock, your mouth shoved against his sackâit's the prettiest you've looked so far, he'll give you that. a nasty groan leaves his throat when you begin to actually suck his balls, tongue running over the displeasing texture of his pubic hair and the soft skin beneath it. fucking finally.
"yeah," he groans, the sound coming from deep within in chest, neck bending as he lets his head fall back against his chair.
he can feel how slick he is between his legs, how little friction is against your mouth and your cheeks, and he loves it allâtruly a disgusting display from someone who had such a big future ahead of her. he looks down at your pathetic expression, eyes glossy and wet and drained from all that he's put you through today, little sniffles and sobs muffled because your mouth is too busy pleasuring him.
all that hard work has only led you to the carpet of your professor's office, gargling his balls in hopes of a good grade.
that thought does him in, ropes of thin cum slowly flowing from his tip as he keeps your mouth tucked against his balls. he makes you stay there for a good while, too, letting his release get in your hair and all over your forehead. there's great enjoyment in the fact that you never stop sucking, either, keeping his nutsack nestled between your lips.
when he finally releases his grip and lets you go, he tries to get a good look at your face, tries to force you to look at him in the eye. he sees your lip quivering, sobs threatening to leave your throat, beaten down and bullied so badly there's no longer a twinkle in your eye. soon, you're running out of his officeâmessy face and allâsomewhere that you hope he'll never be able to see you again at.
nanami wonders how disappointed you'll be in a few weeks when you check your final grades and see that you've failed his class again, and how upset you'll be because you have to take his lecture one more time. next semester, though, he'll teach you how to do something more useful with your free time instead of studying.
my thoughts on gojoâs sexuality and relationships that nobody asked for:
heâs bisexual
he loves it when people fawn over him and compliment him. he let miwa take a selfie with him and he was eating up the attention from the schoolgirls in hidden inventory. born for shoujo romance, forced to battle shonen. i think he would definitely engage in friendly flirting and banter, if he was single.
he has been in love with geto the whole time. maybe they dated during school or maybe they didnât, but gojo definitely pined over him from hidden inventory arc, and all the way until he died. he recognized geto by scent, âmy six eyes tells me youâre suguru geto, but my soul knows otherwise,â his last words to geto being 3 words in english, censored, and made geto blush. he literally let geto walk away, didnât want to kill him, picked getoâs death anniversary for the final battle, to which kenjaku said would be a âromanticâ date.
i donât think gojo had any other serious relationships and i donât think he wanted to, not even just because of geto. heâs a workaholic. his whole life, day to day, revolved around being a jujutsu sorcerer because he was the strongest and because he wanted to make a change via teaching his students. so a) i donât think he ever cared about someone romantically as he did geto, b) i donât think he had the time, and c) i think he knew he would always have to prioritize his job over a romantic partner đ after hidden inventory, he either occasionally met and hooked up with geto or he had other casual one night stands just to satisfy any needs he may have had (i like to think itâs the former).
heâs loyal as fuck. he would never cheat. i write it because i want to, not because i think itâs in character for him.
when your husband is supposed to be the calm, rational one, you donât expect to find him standing at the foot of the bed with his cock in his hand, whining into the dark.
but thatâs where satoru ends up. tank top pushed halfway up his ribs, belt hanging useless from one loop, pants around his knees. his fist works up and down the fat length of his cock in rough, punishing strokes, spit and precum smeared down to his balls. heâs staring at you the whole timeâat the soft curve of your hip under the sheet, the flutter of your lashes against your cheek. pregnant. glowing. carrying his baby.
and heâs rutting into his hand like some desperate virgin.
the panties he stole from the laundry basket are bunched in his other hand, pressed to his face. he inhales like heâs drowning, shuddering so hard the flimsy fabric trembles against his nose. your musky scent has him sobbing out a noise that doesnât sound him at all.
âfuck, babyââ it rips out of him, pitched way too high. âsmell so good... oh fuck, i canâtâcanât stop.â
his cock is obscene. flushed dark, veins raised under the skin, the head slick enough to shine in the faint glow of the bedside lamp. precum drips in heavy strings down his balls, thick enough to coat his knuckles. every stroke drags more slick out of him, messy and loudâschlick, schlick, schlick.
he sucks at the fabric like it could feed him, panting between licks, nose buried deep so he could breathe you in while his tongue works. âgod, i'd eat you out for days if i justâmnhm!âif i just had the chance...â
his hips snap forward into his own fist, cock smacking his stomach with each thrust. precum splatters onto his tank top, dripping onto the hardwoods in obscene drops.
disgusting. a husband rutting into his fist because heâs too scared to touch his pregnant wife.
but satoru canât stop. heâs babbling now, words spilling fast and needy. âwant it so badâfuck, iâd worship you, i'd never stopââ
he chokes on a sob as his balls tighten up, cock jerking violently in his grip. the sound he makes is humiliating, a high and euphoric whine. his thighs shake.
cum spurts out in heavy ropes, hot and endless, painting his stomach, his abs, his fist, the floor. lewd, thick jets that wonât stop, spilling like his body is trying to empty years of frustration at once. it drips down the backs of his fingers, strings across his knuckles, sprays his shirt. he gasps, still pumping through it, cock still twitching violently.
âahâmnhgâfuck, t-too much, i canât...â his voice cracks, strangled, but his fist wonât let go. more cum leaks out, drooling down his cock, streaking his thighs. his knees buckle and he braces one hand on the nightstand, forehead dropping against the wood with a hollow thud.
when itâs finally over, when the spurts slow to tiny dribbles, heâs still shaking so hard he can barely breathe. his cock still twitches against his stomach, still half-hard like it doesnât know how to stop.
and youâre still asleep, lips parted beautifully while he stands there.
streamer!gojo who drags you into his lap whenever you enter his gaming room without knowing heâs streaming, bragging about you to his live as he keeps you pressed against his chest, kissing your cheeks and embarrassing you.
"Weâve been together for a few years now, canât wait to marry my pretty baby." He chimed before pecking your lips, your face flushed before the camera.
streamer!gojo who loves it when you go down on him while heâs streams, his hand fisting in your hair and his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip to hide his groans, and when his chat questioned it, he just said itâs cause heâs âfocused.â (focused my ass)
streamer!gojo who will take his rage out on you by fingering you senselessly, his middle and ring finger thrusting in and out of you as he mutters swears under his breath, mumbling about his recent play on his stream.
"That last play was rigged, I totally had that guy." He angrily mumbled before pulling his fingers out and licking them, tasting your wetness across his fingers.
"Tastes so sweet baby." He chimed, pressing kisses to your clit.
streamer!gojo who lets you rest in his lap while he streams, occasionally muttering sweet nothings into your ear, his chat going insane over the way he treats you.
"Isnât she just the cutest, Iâm so fuckinâ lucky." He mumbled, kissing the spot below your ear before his hands continued on the keyboard in front of him.
streamer!gojo who once let you cockwarm him while he was on live, his hips slowly rocking against your ass while he played, free hand on your thigh.
but it was all over once the chat had found out, and his live got shut down that night.
"Fuck man, itâs not like we showed anything.." he muttered, but it was just your light, little moans that you tried keeping in your mouth
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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tags/warnings: cheater! gojo. hurt/no comfort. reader doesnât leave. mentions of sex and suggestive content. dividers by @/cafekitsune.
wc: 795
Itâs too late to recall the moment your relationship with Gojo Satoru took a turn for the worst.
All you remember is the first few instances. He came home lateâway later than usual. No texts in advance, not even a call. And when he stripped himself bare to crawl into bed beside you, thatâs when you saw it.
Thick, long streaks of red scraped down his back.
Scratches.
But how the hell would he have scratches?
He said it was a curse. And youâstupidly in loveâbelieved him.
Another day when you hugged him, he didnât smell like his usual self. Gone was the smell of fresh laundry, that hint of floral. Maybe even some sandalwood and incense that usually brought you such serenity.
No. He smelled of gourmand. Like a marshmallow wrapped under a thick-knitted blanket of vanilla.
He said it was the bakery he went to on his lunch break.
You believed him. Again.
He began turning his phone face-down, his kisses wouldnât linger as long as they used to, and his touches started feeling like lies staining your skin.
Even after all the incriminating evidence, the loyalty that was slowly being diminished night after night, you stayed.
You cooked his meals, you helped clean up around the house like normal, youâd go to work like you werenât completely sick to your stomach for eight hours straight, anxiously checking your phone.
Because at the end of the day, when it was late at night and he would finally come homeâŚyouâd let him back in. Time and time again.
You let him crawl into the bed wordlesslyâpressing yourself into the shape of a woman he used to want. Youâd let him hold you like youâre enough. And youâd pretend you donât hear him whisper the wrong name in the dark.
He doesnât question when you cry during sex. He wipes your tears after heâs finishing spilling inside of you, cleaning you up with delicacy before muttering: âItâs late. Go to sleep.â
You tell yourself this is power. That staying is strength. But your heart aches in a language you canât speak aloud.
No matter what you do, youâve already lost himâand yourself in the process.
You thought about packing a bag. Just once.
But then the water shuts off. And his voiceâgentle, practicedâcalls out, âYou still up, babe?â
And like a fucking fool, you say, âYeah.â
You always do.
While he gives the best parts of himself to another, he still keeps you here. Either draped over his arm in public or folded up in bed at night.
You donât cry when he leaves the house in the same clothes he wore the day before.
Instead, you perform.
You smile when his friends come over. You laugh when they joke about how lucky he is to have a woman like you. You clean up the messesâhis and your ownâbecause what else is there to do?
Youâve forgotten how to be someone outside of his orbit.
All you do is talk to yourself more. In the grocery aisles, picking his favorite brand of coffee that he doesnât even drink at home anymore. Or in the elevator, looking at yourself in the reflection of the doors, bracing yourself for what heartbreak youâll walk into next.
Practicing lines that you know you can never say.
âWho is she?â
âDo you love her?â
âWhen did I stop being enough?â
âWhy are you doing this?â
âI thought you loved me.â
The doors ding open before you could ever come up with anything else to confront him with.
Slugging your body to your shared apartment, eyes hollow and feet heavy. You insert the key into the door and open it.
The first thing you smell?
Marshmallows wrapped in vanilla.
Your stomach drops, incredibly so. Your body runs cold and shivers spike up your spine so quick it almost scares you as much as the scene in front of you.
âOh, hi! You must be his girlfriend!â
What might sound like a cheery voice to others sounds like nails on a chalkboard for you. You locate a smiling face, bright eyes. Next are her pink lips, long and luscious hair, followed by her slim figure.
Standing beside her?
Your boyfriend. Adjusting his belt.
His grin almost makes you see white, his hug next has your ears ringing.
âThis is my friend,â he introduces. âSay hi.â
Your fingers tremble by your sides, physically enduring the crushing weight of it all. Your throat constricts tightly, a familiar stinging sensation behind your eyes. Your heart begins to beat rapidly and it almost feels like youâre about to die.
But in the endâŚwhat do you do?
You force an uneven, but as much of a polite smile as you can offer.
âHi, nice to meet you.â
a/n: and if i say ill turn this into a full fic, what then?? what happens then?? huh??? hmmmm??? đž (tagging my moot @lily-bisque đ)
also including my favorite comment @redrrem left on this while reading through đđđ