If Snape had an ironic music taste, would it be:
Murder Country
Bubblegum Pop
Results are in!
Now how do we get this to HBO??
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@sev-life
If Snape had an ironic music taste, would it be:
Murder Country
Bubblegum Pop
Results are in!
Now how do we get this to HBO??

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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examples of stalker behaviour: - not being confident and extroverted enough to promptly approach other children as a 9 years old; - trying to prove your bullies do things that go beyond the school rules and the law (which is true) because you want to be able to study without them hurting you; - going to apologize to your friend because you've called her a foul name during a highly traumatic event and now you feel guilty; - being friends with a girl or having a crush on her overall. Soooo creepy.
examples of not stalker behaviour: - making a map that puts an unconsensual GPS on everyone at school, letting you monitor anyone you want 24/7 (two times less stalkerish if you also bring your invisibility cloak); - repeatedly asking out a girl who keeps saying she hates you, and telling her that if she agrees, you'll stop hurting her friend.
If Snape had an ironic music taste, would it be:
Murder Country
Bubblegum Pop
Snape has 100% used his bad childhood against his coworkers. No doubt at all because he's the Head of Slytherin and all of them were technically in charge of his well being. BUT he only does it for the pettiest of petty things.
They're deciding to finally repaint the break room? Filius says Eggshell and Minerva wants Snowbound.
"Remember when I went to the hospital wing the first day of third year with three broken ribs caused by my father and no one asked me about it? Good times," Severus shrugs, "I like the Swiss coffee. It's warm." Of course Pomona is immediately ordering the Swiss coffee color for the walls.
Time to decide the rounds schedule? Severus wants his Tuesday nights for his shows and casually brings up the trauma of the Mauraders and gets to write his nights first.

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39 meets 17
* Just in case there's any misunderstanding, a 39-year-old marries a 39-year-old not a 17-year-old
Based on this post!
That has to be dark magic
Random Slytherin, walking by: I heard your dad's a muggle, Snape! Is that true? Are you a mudblood?
Severus, shouting after him: No, my dad is a wizard, he is really good at transfiguration!
Lily: *raises her eyebrows*
Severus, shrugging: He really exells at turning beer into domestic violence.
— Starprince | snirius aesthetic ☆
my friend dropped me an awwgust list of prompts and i decided to draw for some of them because my previous drawing accidentally fit the first prompt, lol. this one is an "adorable infodump"

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After having to deal with Neville's brewing
Just a reminder that Snape was probably the youngest professor at Hogwarts.
That being said.....
Snape picked the band for the Yuel Ball. He rolled his eyes so hard it actually hurt Professor Sprout when she suggested "a dandy little string quartet! The kids will love it!" Professor McGonagall sighed, "Then what do you suggest, Professor Snape."
"Maybe someone they like? Weird Sisters are popular. Get them."
"That's not in the budget," Albus dismissed before turning to the charms professor, "What about the school choir?"
One huffy potions master, a wand call, and a triumphant smirk with his boots kicked up, "Weird Sister's are playing. For free... Mostly."
They all prodded him for an explanation until Minerva caught Snape and the drummer snogging behind stage during the Ball.
Facts about Snape, professor addition
Obviously head cannons
Severus is always exactly 7 minutes late to all staff meetings. Yes, it is on purpose. Yes, every single one of the other Professors have tried to end the annoying habit. Nothing has worked.
Dumbledore has received so many complaints from parents that if he reads "Snape" he automatically sends in the OWL and NEWT test improvements in Potions.
His first year was a rough start, but by Severus's testing averages went from Slughorn's A-E on the lower side average to high E's and O's. The Dreadful fail rate also dropped to two or three students a year.
Severus has asked to be fired no less than 200 times. It hasn't worked.
At potluck events, it's a competition to see who makes the dish that Professor Snape will eat/eat the most of as they get better every year. Professor Sprout is the reigning champion. And Severus will only ever bring napkins from coffee shops.
He has never mixed up any of the Weasley -- even the twins -- ever. It drives Fred and George insane.
He has a coffee pot in the classroom and will fight anyone who tries to take it away from him. Umbrige learned that lesson the hard way.
3rd year student; "You been yelled at by Professor Snape yet?"
1st year student; "I'm not scared of him."
3rd year student; "So that's a no."
saw an Instagram reel says just because he's good for your hole doesn't mean that he's good for your soul and that's fucking snack energy there
Not only is this Snack Energy™ it's Marauder Era Snack Energy.
Lily found out that Severus and Sirius were dating in secret and shouted this at Sev just trying to read in the courtyard. At least 20 other people heard and he had never been more red in his life. Then it was a tirade of "What are you thinking? He treated you so badly! Use your brain, you're smart Sev!" And it ends with, "Does he make you happy?" Severus nods and she huffs but sits down next to her best friend, throwing an arm around him, "Good. That's what matters."
Up in Gryffindor Tower, James had a similar outburst with Sirius. His best mate just laughed and laughed and wiped away tears before taking a deep breath, "Prongs, I top." The other teen gapped at him for a solid minute before rolling his eyes and arguing that the point stands. "Do you like him, padfoot?" There was an even brighter smile when Sirius answered, "I fuckin love him."

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One of my favourite genres: Severus finally breaking under pressure, Sirius having to deal with "Severus Snape is a human person too" understanding 🥺🥺🥺
It's interesting in both directions I saw it: when they hate each other and it forces Sirius to see human in Snape or when they are already on kinda friendly terms (at least they tolerate each other) but Sirius doesn't see how much pain there is inside of Snape and has to finally see it to full extent.
These guys' hurt/comfort scenes are always a gourmet dish but it gets too salty from my tears too fast 🙃
Snape is Harry's guardian
Petunia opened the door in the middle of the night to see her nephew in her front step. She wanted nothing to do with her show off sister and cut contact three years ago with reason. Her hands were full with Dudley and the Lord knew her parents never loved her as much as Harry. But she didn't know what to do with the freakish child. Not until Vernon was turning the paper and she caught the article of Tobias Snape's prison sentence. A freak with the biggest freak she knew. That would work.
Severus was woken up by loud pounding at the door and groaned through his hangover. But he dragged himself off the floor, half dead. And there was Harry freaking Potter on his dead grass. "Shit."
Harry was screaming at the top of his lungs, freezing cold and in need of a diaper change, screaming for mummy and daddy and the little tot was starving. "Oh fuck it all. Come here," he nearly puked at the stench and picked up the boy bringing him inside where at least he could warm up. One transfigured diaper and a sink bath later, Harry was now in one of his shirts. "What can you eat? Can you eat? I don't have formula." The toddler only started crying again, "You're about as helpful as your father. But at least you are cuter."
He found some apple sauce that was only a week past its expiration and fed the boy with a spoon too big for him and he picked up the corded phone and dialed the fire department.
"Hey. Um, someone left a kid on my door and I don't know what to do?"
"Do you know the child? How old are they?"
"Barely. Umm, he's my ex best friend's kid and her and her husband died two nights ago. I don't know why he's here. He's like ummm... A year and a few months?"
"Were you listed as a guardian? Did a social worker bring him?"
"No for both. There was a loud banging and then baby in the yard and I'm hungover and I don't have diapers. Harry keeps crying but I don't have toys."
"We've sent an Officer to the location your number is registered at. Is Harry injured?"
"Yes. Um, his forehead, has a cut on it. I cleaned that though. Put a bandaid on." Severus gave him another spoonful of the apple sauce from a jar.
"You did the right thing in calling us, help is coming soon." Severus thanked the man and hung up, still feeding Harry because he didn't seem like he wanted to be done eating.
Paperwork and statements and a doctor's visit left Severus holding Harry and a social worker setting out some papers, "You do have options here. The next guardian would be a Sirius Black, just arrested for murder so we can't have that. Mr. Harry can go into the foster system, or you can take temporary guardianship since you were trusted with him, even if you don't know why."
"I'll keep you for Lily," he looked at the green eyes, "So what now?"
It was another few hours before Severus left with the toddler, a bag of supplies, and a social services appointment for the next week. But he swore to protect the little guy napping on his shoulder, even if he did look too much like James Potter.