i don't know why it's a crime to be locked in

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

So scary to like a mutual's post because what if they remember they hate me and then shoot me with a gun

sometimes there really is a single load bearing piece of information about a blogger that elucidates everything about their whole deal and recently for me it was learning that someone was from jersey. another time it was a prolonged history of concussions

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

"vibes", also known as "internal biases",