A.J. Crowley

Crowley to Aziraphale (via incorrect-good-omens-quotes)

However, I’ve also learned that the law can be bent easily enough. You don’t become a top lawyer by taking information at face value.

[holds out his hand to shake] Nice to meet you. I’m Kenneth.

[shakes his hand firmly; gives him a snakelike smile] Crowley. And don’t get too excited about the bit about transgressing the law. I don’t participate. I’m more of a spectator.

I don’t think the whole “6 feet under” thing is all that fascinating.

In that case, I’ll be seeing you around.

Is it natural? Or did you have to build up a like for it?

It provides entertainment enough.

[demons are weird :\ they make 0 sense] A point?

A point. What do you think going around cutting people’s lives brutally short will do to their immortal souls? If anything, you’d have to wait for the prime moment to do it.

Does it please you to do evil?

'Content’ suits me better, I think.

…You’re a demon.

Right, but what do you think demons do? Wreak havoc, sure, but there’s a point to it, you know.

Then what are you?

I’m not really trusting of anything you might give me, so I’m fine, thank you.

[She has connections uwu*]

Would you like anything?

Cryptic?

You’re the most tolerable of demons, but I’m still going to use this if you get out of hand. [Or annoy her, whichever comes first.]

[Where do you get all that holy water anyway--]

I haven’t grown in four hundred years. [Was that envy? Maybe. Maybe not.]

[That was probably a genuine compliment.]

[hello crowley, do u remember your little friend: the spray bottle filled with holy water :^)?]

[ I do and I wouldn’t mind being let in on where it is (^: ]

…Did you grow taller? [A LEGITIMATE QUESTION]