24th ward guardian!

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I felt😭❤️

Me tomorrow:

Basically because I’m a hopeless Touken shipper, I had to post one of my favorite Touken moments (Even though it’s pretty old by now).

These panels guys from chapter 72!

When Kaneki came for Yomo, Touka and Ayato’s rescue, he pretty much talked only to Ayato telling him where to go, without any word to Touka (Sorry Yomo-san, you aren't that much of a talker anyway XD).

But Touka knows better than letting him fight Arima before a single question, she just needed to test how her words would affect his decision. And the reaction he gave by (a single call) from her gave her the answer.

You see how Kaneki flinches when he hears Touka calling his name? You see that twitch?

Usually you get this reaction from a person who is waiting (and knows) that you’re going to call for him but is not ready. He’s willing to talk but doesn’t know what he’s going to say. Even the way he slightly turns around to see her, you can’t actually meet his eye this way, as if he’s avoiding the eye contact as much as he can, but why? Touka knows the reason, and that is why she calls once again.

She get why he’s afraid of making the eye contact with her. You know how does it feel when you miss someone way too much to the point where seeing their face would flash back all these nostalgic memories? Where all the feelings and emotions you once had come again with heavier effects? That’s the moment when people become afraid to meet the gaze, they don't know how to handle that much of feelings, not to mention someone who’s prepared to die, a person who gave up on living.

Kaneki’s eyes here are telling what he feels, it’s like if they’re saying: “I knew I shouldn't look at her eyes”.

The unfairness Kaneki talks about is the effect Touka has made on him, all his determination to die the whole time has been reconsidered again by this fleeting conversation they had. And scratch that, it wasn't a conversation where she had to convince him, she just asked him a question which he couldn't answer, but couldn't get it off of his mind either.

“Even a faint of warmth is reassuring as long as that support on which we lean does not rot away”. - Ishida Sui.

I’m freaking out right now because of a real amazing thing I noticed about Kaneki this chapter, where he had an “illusionary” conversation between his multiple personas inside his mind.

Since the beginning of this series, we’ve encountered multiple moments where Kaneki breaks down. And in each moment he gets up using the help of the others, or by others’ will.

Starting with his first mental breakdown, where he gains the power by Rize’s influence created by his imagination.

Here was the born of the so suicidal persona of Kaneki, and I think there was no other of his personas that is worse than “Shironeki” except for “The black reaper”.

His motivation at this moment was nothing but to keep fighting and getting, stronger, in order to be stronger than his loved ones and protect them. He even pushed himself to work hard enough to the point where he lost the sight of his goal.

He lost his own humanity, he returned to the starting point, he still kept on getting himself hurt (emotionally and mentally) to protect the others.

Bad result of his conversation with Rize. Nothing actually exists for Kaneki to look forward in living!

Then once again, the born of a new persona was created by his illusions, “the black reaper”.

A bad influence was this child Kaneki iin here indeed, yet can not be blamed. The child who carried all of Kaneki’s memories and misery, his ghoul figure who didn't want to be erased yet wanted to die in style. He wanted to give himself one last moment to be remembered as “a hero”.

Even a worse outcome from this conversation! Instead of finding something to live for, he found a reason to die in the name of achievement!

Then we have a new persona, the one who started to believe he there might be a reason to live for, the one who embraced the OEK title.

The very first positive conversation created by his imagination, and of course by Hids’s help! He didn't give him an exact reason to live for, but at least pushed him forward to find one for himself.

And yet, Kaneki didn't take Hide’s advice fully to himself, he mixed it up with others’ will once again. He becomes the one eyed king.

This is one of Kaneki’s complex flaws, he needs to be encouraged to take a step in his way. He needs a guide, someone to tell him that it is okay to wish, hope and try to take a step forward. And sometimes this flaw leads him to take actions he doesn't want to do.

An amazing outcome truth be told! But still he needs improvements.

And last comes the conversation between all of these personas. Each one of them started (was born) based on a whole different reason from the other. Each one of them has his own desires, started with a goal to achieve which is completely unrelated to the other.

One wished for this outcome.

While the other was happy being Sasaki.

And all of them fought over their previous actions and decisions.

Until comes the ugly truth.

Their heavy silent moment.

This situation was built based on the actions of all of them. They might argue over who did this and why you’ve done that, but they agreed on this.

This is his first illusional conversation where he asks for something he desire for himself, not taking titles, dying or even fighting for someone else. This thing is for himself: “I want to see Touka”. Not Touka needs me, not I need to protect my loved ones. But “I want to”, he wants to.

And so, all of these personas come together. No pressure at all, no outside opinions. But by his own free will.

So this fight he is charging is for himself, this is the thing he wants for himself. Not for someone else’s sake, he isn’t searching for someone to think of him as a hero, but he wants to continue on living this life he just built!

I don't know what is the definition of ugly to you Kaneki Ken, but I definitely won’t say it to these.

And absolutely certainly definitely would never allow someone to say it to this face...

All hail the king!