eyes on fire;

Dear You Know Who You Are,

Sighing heavily once more at Sera calling her mom, she rolled her eyes as well. “I don’t get that at all, but whatever.” Lifting her head up as she looked at Sera before speaking once more. “You might as well go get some wine. We need to drink for a bit then discuss New York. You were basically my only reason for going so we should probably sort that out.”

Sera sighed. “Of course I was,” she muttered. “I’ll get the wine.”

“It’s not what I want to think Sera. For fucks sakes I want to believe you’d literally do anything for me and that your mom never would end this friendship.” Leaning back as she talked, she sighed heavily. “Fine. Your relationship with your mom is yours, but as I said. It’s your life Sera, don’t let her make all your choices.” Dropping the subject since it was clearly pointless, Sera would never see her mother as she truly was. A cold hearted evil bitch who was nothing but a snake. Apart of Alex actually felt bad that Sera still saw her mom as this idol, not the villain she truly was. “I guess it’s us four forever then since that’s all you need.” Raising an eyebrow at Sera as she paused for a moment. “So…. do you honestly see yourself ending up alone?” 

“Then believe it.” She crossed her arms. “Yeah, okay, I get it Mom,” she said with an eye roll. She didn’t let her mother make all her choices. Well, Sera didn’t think so, anyway. But her mother was her greatest weakness and if she could avoid disappointing her in any way she’d try it. She didn’t understand Alex’s question. What part of she only needed the three of them in her life did she not understand? “If I did, I probably wouldn’t care.”

“You can have your own place Sera. I’ll move somewhere else and respect that you want to be alone. It sucks, but at least you told me finally.” Sighing heavily as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair. “Nothing changes because like you said you aren’t going to bother to fix it.” Letting her hands drop into her hands. “You say this, but the way you talk about Dylan. It honestly makes me question if one day I’ll be easy to let go.” Shaking her head as she rubbed her forehead out of frustration. “At the end of the day Sera there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. I’m not the type to kill anyone but I would literally murder someone if they hurt you because you’re that important to me.” Shifting forward so she was looking directly at Sera, she held eye contact as she talked. “I understand you don’t like people I get that. The thing is Sera not everyone who you push away is going to stay like me. Eventually you’ll just be sitting in an empty room being very lonely because you refuse to feel and it’s just easier to let go. Selene is your mother but she doesn’t control your life unless you let her. If you wanna let her then fine, but there’s consequences for that which won’t be pretty. You are not Selena Kane, so make your own choices and mistakes. Don’t be a god damn sheep all the time and let her lead you to the slaughter just because she can.”

Sera gritted her teeth. “If you want to think that, fine, I obviously can’t change your mind.” Granted, she couldn’t actually see herself turning on Alex ever but they wouldn’t really know unless the opportunity arose. Her brow furrowed as soon as Alex started getting into her mother. “Let’s be very clear about something. No one, not you, not Dylan, not fucking God himself knows a damn thing about what goes on between me and my mother. You may think you do, but you don’t. You’ve all assumed for years what kind of shitty parent my mother is but frankly, it’s nobody’s goddamn business what kind of parent she is. I’ve made it abundantly clear that I don’t need anyone else in my life but you, Al, and Sebastian, and I’ve been very content with that for twenty-one years. If my mother threatens that dynamic then we might have a problem, but otherwise, there’s nothing to worry about. And that’s that.” 

“It’s not like we’d be making out on the couch. Plus Oliver wouldn’t even be here he’s going to stay here at school since he’s looking into a different career he’s gotta take some extra classes.” Clarifying even though at this point it was pointless because they weren’t going to move in together. At Sera snapping Alex’s eye’s widened, she just sat there silently listening to Sera say more words at once than she’d ever heard from her. Once Sera finished Alex sat there with her hands laced together in her lap silently still just staring at Sera. “You’re a fucking idiot, Seraphina.” Letting her eyes flicker up at Sera. “You treat being close to someone as this fucking choice and weakness. You realize we could have went to New York and Dylan would probably came there or visited often? You realize we have money and portals. You staying here or considering staying for Dylan by far is dumbest fucking thing I’ve heard from you. How about be both real fucking honest here you got scared. Your mother has you all so fucking programed to fear emotions because by god they’re the worst thing in the fucking world right?” Glaring at Sera bitterly for a moment. “You can choose you all you want, but you didn’t. Your mom choose you for you. I wanna know what happens when Selene decides I’m a problem. You going to just tell me this friendship is over and done with too? That you got bored of me. If you are then you might as well just end this friendship now.”

“Yeah, no. The whole lovey-dovey stuff that’d happen around the apartment I’d rather not deal with. He’d be moving in eventually. I’d like my own place.” She stood there are Alex pretty much ripped her a new one. Deep down she knew everything her best friend was saying was true, but none of it was going to change what already happened. “’Kay, we get it, I’m a fucking idiot. That changes nothing, the damage is done and I’m not gonna bother to fix it.” Even if she wanted to, there was no way at this point she’d ever get Dylan back. And she was trying to move on until Alex suddenly came out of nowhere with this bullshit. “You’re never going to be a problem. And even if my mother thought you were -- you’ve been my friend my whole life. I’ve only had feelings for your sister for... a time. She was just...” She really felt like her mother’s daughter with the next statement. “... easier to let go.”

“A little honestly. Well she asked if Oliver and I were moving in together after graduation and I said no I was moving in with you and when Oliver finished up school he’d move in with us. It escalated quickly to say the least.” Shifting her weight as she eyed Sera closely. “That didn’t answer my question, Sera. Did your mother get involved in your relationship with Dylan?”

“Okay first of all, you’re absolutely insane if you thought I was going to live with you and Oliver. I get nauseous just being in the same room with you two, I’d probably die choking on my own vomit living with the two of you long term. Second of all, tell your sister to mind her own fucking business,” she snapped. “You know what, fine. I told my mother I was in love with Dylan because I was going insane from how attached I was getting and since she’s more like me than Al is I thought, stupidly, that she could give me peace of mind by telling me she’s been through the same shit and she’d guide me on handling it. She’s a Cromwell, and my mother was going to find out about it eventually so I figured it wouldn’t be as big of a deal as it would’ve been with some random. Stupid me, because that’s not what happened. She told me now wasn’t the time for some silly infatuation when I’m in the process of beginning a career and that my feelings for Dylan would just cloud my judgment. And she was right, because prior to our lovely conversation I was really thinking about ditching the New York law firm plan to stay here and work at Derek’s law firm for a while instead, because I’d have the best of both worlds by a) being close to Dylan and b) still getting to start my career. But Derek’s law firm isn’t a prestigious New York law firm. I’d be giving up an opportunity to start somewhere that’d pretty much guarantee me a step above the average witch lawyer, to get me ahead of everyone else on being a top prosecutor like I always wanted, and instead working at some mediocre firm where I just blend in with all the rest. So I thought if I was willing to give something like that up, what else would I be willing to give up that’d just hurt me in the long run? And my mother’s words really stuck to me and I couldn’t stop thinking she was right. So I chose me. It’s fucked up but I did. If your sister’s bitter about it, then good. She should be. There’s the fucking truth for you. What the fuck else do you want?”

“That didn’t sound confident, but okay. If I would have known maybe my plans would have changed and I certainly wouldn’t have made an ass out of myself with my sister. We got into discussing my plans after school and them involving you.” Sighing heavily as she looked at Sera. “It ended up with me probably being wrong once again and her right as fucking aways.” Tossing her hands up aimlessly. “Speaking of her though this bring me to another question. Did your mom and my mom get involved in your relationship with Dylan?”

“So let me get this straight, you’re pissed because of how you looked to your sister? That’s a bit of a stupid topic to discuss with her in the first place since we broke up and I’m sure the last thing she wants to hear is about anything I’m up to.” She exhaled sharply. She was never going to date again, she swore. It was apparent by Alex’s next question that living arrangements weren’t all her and Dylan talked about. Great. “Alex, me and Dylan are through. I don’t understand the point of discussing any of this.”

“What when I was moving into the apartment that I got for us? You literally could have told me this months ago Sera. It’s shitty to hear this from Dylan first and not from you.” 

“No? That would’ve been a little funny, but, no. Okay what is the big deal, we’re still in school and graduation’s still months away, I’ve had other things on my mind lately. My freaking bad. Shitty to hear from -- why the fuck were you and Dylan talking about that?”

“Oh–Umm… why didn’t you tell me sooner that you didn’t want to live with me? I’ve been talking about this since we were freshman. No– it’s nothing to do with Oliver.” 

“I dunno. I was going to eventually. I’m tired of living with other people.”

“After we finish up school are we moving in together?”

“Seriously? You made it seem like it was urgent. No, I want to live by myself for a while. Why, were you making living arrangements with your beloved?”