Slug Bait, Can't Wait

I can't see my favorite band ever, i cant see my best friend for so long i cant be myself and atp i dont care for it because i dont like myself. I feel like i exist for other people and never for myself never to make ny own decisions because i am so afraid. I jusr dont get what i want and i never will. I just dont care i feel like i need every one to leave me. I am so dramatic i miss my bf but god knows ill only get half a conversation before i decide to leave because i cant handle it. I dont know what i want in general and i dont have time or space to figure it out i wish i could be helped

Im just sad. I havent felt at peace or happy in a long while and its so tiring at this point. My friends talk abt their plans and all the cool things we'll do in the future and it makes me sad that i dont typically enjoy having plans like that. I wanna live and just do what my parents did for a bit. That would be wasting my life at this point ive wasted so much of myself it feels. I dont care for being a director i still find it interesting i just dont care for a camera anymore, i will probably never write anything that im content with. I hate my work schedule theres only so many people i can talk with and when i move ill lose that too. I dont live for myself and it doesnt feel good i wish i made many other choices i wish i didnt want to go to college before ive completely ruined everything and i have this mindset that if i keep doing things for other people itll come back to me and ill get to not be stressed out over simple relationships. I dont feel comfortable in myself i want a blank slate. I feel so alone i dont like talking abt it much with my friend i dont like people knowinf how bad i feel because i dont want to be that guy thats always sad but thats how i feel. I dont have control over any thing i want a little more time. I think about the worst things ever all the time and then i realize how over the top it is i dont know i dont know i dont feel like anybody can help me for once i really wish i could have time totally alone but i can never have that because its some thing *i* want and i cant ever get that

Im so tired i want to do what i want i want to live a little bit and not care i want to have my own place and figure it all out at my own speed i hate this feeling of being dragged and thrown into everything it kills me i want some time

I wish i had an apartment and lived on my own id be fine still living here atp

Grown man stomping and crying i genuinely hate my life so much

Doea anybidy else pace around rubbing their arms and make a weird whining sound or am i the only one havibg a party!

I wanna ahave my head so bad i hate taking care of my hair its horrible

Ugh god im so anxious this is horrible

I hate wakinf up i wanted to sleep until tmw oh my god

Everybody in my life makes me mad or irritates me and its killing me every single day i am unhappy and it feel overwhelming every single moment i am awake lmao!

I do t wanna finish cleaninf my room a lot of excitement went away ngl but at least its tidier !

Id like to draw again but i know id get horrifically upset plus idk how to draw transformers so 😭

I dont want any if this anymore i am miserable

I wisj i could live alone and do what i want.