Puff the Magic Dragon

"Do you even know what you’re doing?"

"We’ve already tried this."

"You don’t even know what you’re doing."

"Beyonce isn’t that great."

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"You have five seconds…"

"I don’t even know who you are."

"Didn’t your parents ever tell you that?"

"Is this where you live?"

"… Why are your hands down your pants?"

"Is that a lobster?"

"You’re late on child support."

"You never go ass to mouth."

"One ring to rule them all…"

"He doesn’t even go here!"

"Did you just take that?"

"Is that a unicorn?"

"You’re a muggle."

"It’s your turn to do the dishes."

"Were you going through my computer?!"

"Are you pregnant?"

"You need to be honest with yourself, no one likes Nickelback."

"Shut up."

"I know you’re having an affair."

"They’re dead."

"Voldemort isn’t dead."

"Let me see your phone."

"I can’t believe it’s over."

"How high are you right now?"

"I was with someone."

"It’s not necessary to replace you, you’re not missed."

"Why do you think we never worked out?"

"What went wrong?"

"You’re the most ridiculous person I know."

"Are you okay?"

"I’m having an affair."

"Too little too late."

"Snoop Dog just came into the diner."

"You said we could get a puppy."

"I need to move out."

"You ordered a moon bounce?"

"Don’t you want me?"

"Meeting your mother changed my life."

"Janitor’s closet NOW."

"Is that for sale?"

"Do you want to get a drink sometime?"

"Your resilience is comparable to that of a cockroach."

"He has a knife!"

"I was on an episode of Cops once."

"Are you a hoarder?"

"We’re alone out here, you know?"

"I killed her."

"I need to go."

"Why did you invite me to your wedding?"

"You always do this!"

"You’re the master of excuses."

"Did you hire a stripper?"

"I just got out of jail."

"It was you all along?"

"I know you don’t want to be with me anymore."

"Were you ever happy?"

"You’ve been in that same exact spot since 9 this morning."

"There’s plenty of fish in the sea."

"This is it."

"I can’t believe it’s you."

"We’re getting evicted."

"I know who you are."

"I wrote you a letter… Every single day."

"They’re going to kill me."

"You had sex with a serial killer."

"Are you drunk?"

"I didn’t love you anyways."

"That was the worst day ever."

"That was the best day ever."

"Is this your first date?"

"I’ve never been kissed before."

"You’re famous!"

"I can’t see you anymore."

"What’re you here for?"

"It’s always been you."

"If this were a movie…"

"Are you high?"

"Stick a sock in it."

"You’re better off without me.’

"I’m better off without you."

"You’re like a freaking Taylor Swift song."

"What do you want?"

"Fuck it."

"That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard."

"Who ARE you anymore?"

"Can I get a refill?"

Hello Loners, Lovers, and Losers! I know that many of you have heard the ‘there are plenty of fish in the sea’ ploy but sometimes that might not be the case. Many people these days long for love but never have the connection to find other single people. That is where I come in. 

Puff’s Matchmaking Program will have you meeting singles in no time and I’ll even set you up with someone who I think might be for you. If it doesn’t work out, we keep trying. All the dates will be blind but you will be sent your date’s information and where it will take place. It’s completely free so what harm can it do? Send in your application and I’ll start setting up ASAP. Thanks, my kittens <3 Puff

APPLICATION:

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Sexuality:

Year (if applicable): 

Experience?:

Ideal Type?:

Interests:

[ sms : puffball ] ahh sorry i lie…well technically i didn’t i was about to leave but i decide to change my outfit~ i was changing my outfit like 50 times

literally it felt like it was fifty time. but in realize it was probably only 10. with her clothes everywhere on the ground she quickly escape her sorority house and headed to the bar. the drive wasn’t to long and she enter the bar. from a far she already notice puff. of course it was their usual spot so even if it was dark she still knew exactly where the other was. 

[ sms : puffball ] i see you! heading over there now!

Nicole must be trying on outfit after outfit. Who knows how long she would be there with how indecsive her friend was? Puff sipped at her drink until she felt her chest lighten from the weight from worrying about her friend as she saw her approach and a smile spread across her lips as her ideas where correct.