reflection.
❝The cure for anything is salt water -- tears, sweat and the sea.❞ --Isak Dinesen, Seven Gothic Tales
In the bathroom, to wash her hands after a copious meal, she glanced for the first time of the day in the mirror. Kiritani Mirei was whom she saw in the reflection. For a second, it was an average cute looking girl who barely used makeup anymore only as a formality. The next second, it became a filthy looking monster. She started washing her hands over and over again, and ended up using half the bottle of hand soap before she realized that it would not work. The dirt had not contaminated only her hands. Her makeup was ruined by tears. The rest of her body damaged by pollution and germs. It was her entire body that needed cleansing. She undressed herself, and stepped into the shower. One, two, three...four times did she applied shampoo before two times the conditioner. She used multiple different soaps for different parts of her body. Her face alone consisted of two different kits.
...Even with this extensive excessive care, she still felt dirty. She tried to figured why. Unconsciously her hand was on her belly. When she noticed, she realized what was wrong. She personified dirtiness. Now, she had to bear the fruit of her naivete, her cowardice and her immaturity. Her hands were stained, because they had killed two young girls (herself and her friend). Her body was filthy, because she had intoxicated it and was powerless when it came for the act. That time she could not say no. In her euphoric ecstasy induced world, everything was fine. When she got the wake up call, she did not even have the time to take the after pill. She was rotten. She was a wretch. She was a bitch. She was a slut. She was a whore. She was unholy. She was sinner.
The young girl burst into tears and sat on the floor of her shower. The water was pouring on her. She could not differentiate the temperature. She curled into a ball crying. How could she be a mother? Twenty-one, in school, and an easy A. She did not deserve such blessing. She remained there until she calmed down. It took her some time. In two days, it was the fourth month anniversary of this event. Four months since she was carrying this little bundle of joy conceive from an unfortunate event. She tried to think of something happier. "Maybe I should start thinking about names. I'll almost get to see him or her in my belly..."
