my head is a buzzing 3 star hotel🐝

I stood up and threw my arms up into the motion of an air guitar, my wife is begging me to sit back down, and I pointed at the guy who may be Keanu Reeves, and said, “Most Excellent.”

He stood up and did it back at me. Then we both had a moment and pointed at each other. I sent him another of whatever it was he was drinking. It was a cucumber sake martini. That was the end of it.

Or so I thought.

He left before we finished our meal. By the time we were done, dessert came that we didn’t order. We thought, “oh, must be compliments of the chef.” Then the bill never came. When we asked for it, our waitress said Keanu Reeves took care of it.

IT WAS REALLY HIM. And he left a note. It said, “thanks for the refresh. Keanu.”

When I finally saw him again years later, because of work. I brought it up. Then he air guitar and said, “most excellent. I remember. At Nobu’s. Thanks for the drink.” We chatted a bit and I got an autograph for my mum because she’s a huge Keanu fan. Then that was that.

Then Keanu walks up. Calmly charms the guy. Slips the usher behind the bar cash to cover the bottle, without the guy even noticing, and walks him back in to his seat like it’s a normal thing he does every day. He didn’t know the guy, didn’t know any of us, but effortlessly deescalated the situation and quite probably saved some jobs that night. 

look at this five o’clock shadow, popped collar motherfucker… Libya was not ready

my dude consistently head and shoulders taller than every normal-sized person he encounters, dangerously close to a Canadian tuxedo in New Mexico

fully on that Bill Murray Lost in Translation shit in Tokyo

TONY BOURDAIN FRENCH ASS BITCH… the scarf?? please

I see you with that second button undone… eyes emoji

(lest you think “aw that’s kind of a nice cap actually” I need you to know he’s talkng about how in Brazil everyone “looks like they just got fucked, or they’re on their way to get fucked”)

Jamaica… I don’t even want to talk about Jamaica, frankly

let’s also never, ever discuss Hawaii, that second one in particular, I’m delicate, thank you

look at these fucking monochrome boyfriends in Marseille… Eric laughing patronizingly at Tony pontificating is a mood. I would watch a seventeen-hour action movie/buddy comedy starring these two and so would you, don’t lie to me

(bonus bc I just noticed this fucking sweater and I’m gently dying about it?) 

aging punk about to get day drunk at the cricket match and hit on someone’s wife in Houston

we already know how I feel about this Greek islands bullshit

his being too tall for every chair in Hanoi and also the entire world will never stop being funny to me!! can’t relate!!

a lesson on profanity in Rome… #Looks across the board, actually

*camera switches to interview where dog barks and mounches on the reporter’s mic (who allows him do it)*

Character: Avatar Korra

Series: The Legend of korra

Cosplayer: Twitter Instagram 

all the loopy parts with harps, sharp stops YES