noodle

“None of my sisters are disposable!” Except for victims of abuse, according to this logic.

I also find it interesting on a rhetorical level that if someone puts up boundaries that exclude rapists, that makes them a “monster,” but a rapist categorically doesn’t get called a monster but a “sister” that must be protected. What the hell kind of standards are those?

I’ve seen this type of social dynamic happen before, both among trans people and among cis people. It’s horrible.

Should we have standards, especially when the legal system often fails?

Absolutely, yes. In fact, because the legal system so rarely delivers justice for sexual abuse, community-based accountability is often the only tool vulnerable people have. To reject that tool outright is to leave victims entirely defenseless.

She conflates all consequences with "exile", losing a job or having your social circle shrink are not automatically "cages." They are consequences. The severity of the consequence should ideally match the severity of the harm. She's treating a request for accountability as though it is the same as a prison sentence, which erases the nuance between a minor interpersonal conflict and a pattern of predatory abuse.

If she actually wanted restorative justice, she would be demanding that the accused take accountability, apologize, get professional help, make amends, and demonstrate changed behavior over time. Instead, Misstrogen simply demands that the community stop talking about it and accept the person back immediately. That is silencing the victims to make the community feel less "messy."

If someone has caused harm and refuses to acknowledge it, refuses to change, the community has a moral obligation to create distance.

leo-fie asked: Hi, just saw that you reblogged a fundraiser from Sophie McAllister, alias Sophie from Mars. She has been accused of sexual abuse by multiple trans women. I have blogged about that before, I can send you the links if you want.

missstrogen answered: I'm going to be as kind as i can here, but I'll only say this once. This behavior is unacceptable. I don't support getting rid of tgirls. No one is disposable and that includes Sophie. Change your behavior, and understand that the movement you make yourself part of can only harm trans women, because that is the point.

missstrogen reblogged: The only thing that keeping public records of allegations, words and actions, the only thing that this callout model does is social exile. The only thing you get by calling out the bad girls is getting rid of them. Does she deserve that? Does she deserve to be treated as "a danger to the community"? Do you even have the right to commit such a judgement?

Cut that shit, right now.

Missstrogen reblogged: I've been getting multiple asks from "concerned members of the community" telling me that they don't want "unrepentant abusers" in their community, that me saying this is not giving priority to victims.

You are a monster, if you think like that, plainly. A monster, and not my sister. You are a monster if you are so eager to get rid of a woman, to thrust social exile upon her because one action was enough to put her in a category of evil forever, to your eyes.

No one is disposable. You do not get to decide that she should be removed from social life, functionally jailed away from society, over a past action.

Don't pretend that's not what you want either. Ive seen your demands, you will want her to quit her job, to move to a place faraway, to leave all her friends behind and leave alone. You don't want justice or accountability. You want a cage to put her in.

You want so badly to pretend she's dangerous, that she can't be trusted, that she needs to be removed for the good of "community". You are the danger.

Even beyond my care for her, as a sister, i would not trust you, because i know you would turn on me in seconds. You are the danger.

missstrogen reblogged: and to the girl in my inbox, yes, you're the danger. You're the danger when you give more importance to your crusade against The Dangerous girls than the physical safety of not being functionally jailed. You are the danger, no matter what you say. When you want a girl to lose her job because you think she doesn't deserve a public presence, You are no different than the kiwifarmers. Period.

Why does my safety not matter? If you want to protect women from assault, or you want to defend your trans sisters, why does that always seem to exclude me? And if you can’t support transfems like me who have been sexually assaulted, can you please at least shut up instead of reminding me of my trauma and portraying girls like me as somehow the dangerous ones in such a messed up way?!