we're all a little mad here

I sense a self destructive streak in my future

I need someone who understands me. Which sounds so cliche. But honestly like i just wish theres was someone who knew what i was feeling and just got it. And accepted me. God i hate feeling like i cant go to anyone cause they wont get it or theyll think im dumb or crazy or just generally an idiot

This cant last

All i want to do is sleep all day and not remember but every time i close my eyes its like everything i want to forget is everything i see. I want to wake up not crying for once please. Not about the pain and not about the nightmares

Something is so thoroughly wrong wit me. I can sleep or think and i have all types of strange aches and pains. Im so afraid its something autoimmune or cancer. Im getting testing done. I cant be sick. I just please god cannot be.

I act so strong. I bottle all my feelings up and always put on a face. But jesus fucking christ. Im not infallible. Im human, and i break. And i guess im cracking rn.

Im so fucking cold