I'LL DO WHATEVR IT TAKES!!!!!!

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

🧇🎀🌈あなたも意地悪･ﾟ::･★‧₊˚☘️🍎🐱(◡ ω ◡⁠)⭐🍅🥕･ﾟ::･★‧₊˚.｡ﾟ ..｡(❁´◡`❁)｡.｡: *🍮⭐️🎀ＵＲＥＳＨＩＩ⭐️☘️🌈もしもし？🥬🎀🌈(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)･:*:･｡☆じゃぁね。⭐️🍓🎀⭐️✦ ¸ . ﹢ 🎀🍅💚

SISSY SCHOOL

i turned 18, and i'm all alone.

i'm alone in my dark room while a youtube video plays quietly for some kind of background noise, and my parents are happy that it's my birthday while i feel empty, sad, and angry all at once.

i'm empty because i'm not sure what to think about it.

i don't know what to say or how to feel about it because i didn't think i would make it, and i'm also scared.

i'm scared of growing up, i'm scared for what the future holds.

will i get my dream job? will a man ever marry me? will i have kids or no kids? will i love myself fully? will i grow old and pass peacefully of old age? will i have my dream home?

i want to be a little girl again, when the world seemed perfect and the world seemed so much more vibrant.. when snow days were full of playing in the snow and playing minecraft with my brothers. when i felt so alive and when i didn't know how there were such horrible people in this world.

all i know is that i am afraid.

i'm sad because my best friend was supposed to be by my side, and yet, she hasn't been for 8 months straight.

i text her so often, hoping she will just say something because how did she just stop caring so fast?

we used to call every single day, for over 8 hours, just talking and playing games. i miss her voice, i miss her laugh, i miss our sleepovers, i miss our calls, i miss her.

we promised to stick by each other, and now here i am, begging for her to say something to me just about every day.

i'm angry, not at anyone, but myself.

i'm angry that i have wasted my teenage years the way i did. most of it was me, talking to no one except family and two friends. i did nothing. i isolated myself and pushed people away because i'm terrible at talking to people at all. the only things keeping me together being things like games or people i admired who never will know that i exist.

of course, there are some good things to come out of my teenage years, but not a lot.

My Secret Santa piece for @pikaflute, here are the silly guys on a date! I hope I did them justice! Thank you to @samandmaxsecretsanta for hosting this, I had so much fun drawing this :D

Textless version and speedpaint below the cut + some additional notes