The process of melting.

Tomorrow is the day, and you've been gone for two weeks.

I spend most of my days numb, and at night I just weep.

Saying I miss you isn't enough,

It barely touches the surface of just how much.

I rattle my brain thinking of how it could've all changed or where it all went wrong,

But the truth is that no matter the path, you were already gone.

I hate myself for not being able to save you or give you some of my years,

And when I say I'm lost without you, it doesn't explain the pain or the fear.

I love you and I need you and I hope you're okay,

And I'm keeping you with me every single day.

Dad, you were my best friend and my constant home,

And I still can't accept that you're truly gone.

I hope you come visit me and make sure I'm alright,

Because I try to talk with you every day and every night.

What happens when your whole world stops,

And the man you've always loved is the one person you cant call.

Please dad, forgive me for not knowing what to do,

It haunts me and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. ♥️

I remember when I let my body hit the ground and gave up all resistance to the world.

I remember how much hatred I had for those around me, how much anger raced through my veins.

There was a moment when I looked up from the dirt and saw light, I saw everything I wanted and I let it drift.

I had given up.

Because I felt that I was given up, to the judgment and criticism of others. Their words and their actions.

I remember the day I started doing everything to feel something other than what I had become accustomed to.

I remember leaving myself, and becoming something different, just to be happy.

I remember becoming multiplied.