SELFLESS GAME

WEEK OF 1/30, BY KAI: It’s back to the grind as the semester returns full-swing. Having restlessly thought about Selfless all of the fall semester, the winter holiday was a nice break to regain some headspace and new perspective on the game. And fortunately, given the game’s central theme of exploring the relationship of family/home and how distance and time away can affect this relationship, returning to Chicago gave the perfect opportunity to study this personally and in a present context.

Returning and leaving home once again provided fresh perspective and inspiration to now pursue incorporating poetry and a literal narrative to Selfless. Similar to the way text is used in What Remains of Edith Finch, Selfless will likely explore a storytelling technique, provided through poems and personal accounts of family/home relationships.

In addition to Selfless’ narrative, the visual experience — motifs and aesthetic — of the game has also been further considered recently. Throughout its development, Selfless has taken place in a black and white field — barren of anyone and (seemingly) anything else. This particular environment has thus harkened references to the Fields of Asphodel in Greek mythology, as well as Purgatory in some religions and as described in Dante’s Inferno. Aside from visual tone and environment references, Selfless will explore more filmic qualities with camera use and composition.

WEEK OF 2/5, BY EASTON: Over the past week, I met with Dennis [an NYU Game Center MFA] on Friday to discuss my change of technical focus for my project. I’m not sure why I outlawed multiplayer so early in my design-thinking for my game when it’s a game about family. So the past weekend, I added network support to my project. I playtested it with a friend from home and immediately found the experience more expressive and engaging.

I think this spur of inspiration had to do with Austin Walker’s talk this past Thursday. I remember Frank [Lantz] saying that sometimes we look to games to comfort us, to provide us a space that distracts us from the real world. And something clicked in my head. I’ve been trying to create this melancholic and depressing experience to relate MY experience with my family… but this whole time I never even considered where family plays a role in my game.

In the previous version of [Selfless], it would be 3D models with some animation or some audio clips that fire off, but as a designer and artist, I don’t think that does my experience justice. I think implementing the distance mechanic as a sort of “relationship” mechanic within this online space can already create a much more powerful experience. When I explained this to Dennis, he was wary at first, bringing up issues of players trying to harm each other, searching for gratuitous response. But I think if player’s can’t directly affect each other [as in Journey’s limited, but effective communicative ‘chirp’ interaction], they’ll be less inclined to do it. The distance mechanic not only affects pieces of the world now, but the relationships with the players. Each player that joins the game, changes it with their presence.

In a single player game, the sole player wanders alone through grass fields with visual, anxious thoughts following them. Once other players join, that game mode changes and instead of coming to terms with their loneliness, players work to find their optimal spatial relationship with each other. They move around the space and look for the place where the house will be rebuilt (together! It requires both players’ participation). I’m really glad I’m taking my project in this direction now, though I do have some thinking to do about how this experience is presented at shows/festivals/etc.

WEEK OF 2/12, BY EASTON: This past week, I prepared a multiplayer scene for Josh DeBonis’ visit that I also sent to Winnie [Song]. [...] Josh had suggestions for what exactly is made clear to the player once they’re introduced to the experience, and it was good for me to think about what this game is going to look like to other people. So I deliberated with my friends about my project, really leaning into what it truly means to be selfless and how a game can express that.

I came up with two concepts that my game was directed towards. I started working on it immediately, seeing that I have to make sure it’s ready for this Tuesday [for the first Capstone milestone of the semester] and Sunday [for Selfless’ Indiecade East 2018 showcase].

Selfless is an interactive visual poem that you play with other people online. You begin the game alone and — as people join — the game begins. Progress in the experience, however, is only made by one player deciding to drop out so that the others can experience new, unique scenes of the game.

Here is a screenshot of the house model Easton is working on for Selfless. It’s actually a mirror of his own home in Chicago. The relationship of a person and place is currently a significant theme explored in the game.

Easton played around with light shafts, as inspired by our 3hr play-through of Journey one evening. (By the way, the gif compression does not do the actual lighting test justice)...

Another lighting test:

Easton took a break to make a game, Grass, to help other people take a break. Try it out here and have fun rustling some grass!

And finally, here’s a peek at what the game is starting to look like now.

As the year comes to a close and Easton reaches the halfway point of the game’s development, a lot more decisions are being made (for good). A lot more time is being spent working on the game. A lot more excitement for this project than ever before has brewed. And we’re excited to start serving it to you all.

Here are a few more updates:

-puzzles(!) are now a thing Easton is exploring incorporating in the game

-Easton’s been playing around with custom shaders!

-with each new iteration, Easton has brought the game to both peers and advisors for play-testing (notes have been very positive and constructive)

-a collaboration with a very talented music composer is in the works for the game’s score!

-on top of all this, Easton also joined a 2-week experimental lab that explores art at the intersection of drama/theatre and games

-here’s Easton playing with VR lol

Not surprisingly, this puzzle is usually tackled the same way. [2, 4, 8]. Another sensible sequence would be [4, 8, 16] or [16, 32, 64]. Correct! Those sequences fit my pattern. It’s simple then — the pattern is multiplying by 2 for the next number.

Nope.

[4, 6, 8]. The pattern is even numbers! The sequence fits the pattern, but even numbers isn’t the pattern. Okay. So the pattern is NOT even numbers.

[1, 3, 5]? Yep! The sequence works. But what’s the pattern? It can’t be odd numbers because [2, 4, 8] and [4, 6, 8] worked.

What about [100, 101, 102]? Sure, that works. [1, 10, 100]? Yep! But what’s the pattern?

In a lot of cases, the trial-and-error goes back and forth for a while. What started with a simple hunch of even numbers quickly turns into a slew of complicated algorithms — “add the product of 2 and the order number the next digit falls.” Guesses are made and they all fit the pattern, but no progress is made in discovering the pattern itself. Until finally. Just because...

What about [3, 2, 1]?

Nope. That doesn’t fit the pattern.

Suddenly, the floodgates open. Our first “no.”

Could it be... [1, 2, 3]? Yes. That works. [5, 4, 3]? Nope, that doesn’t work. [10, 4, 1]? Nope. [2, 3, 1]? Doesn’t work. [100, 98, 99]? No.

The pattern is ascending numbers.

You did it! That’s the pattern.

* * *

Incidentally, the point of this puzzle is not actually to exercise the brain (well, not in the traditional sense of a puzzle). This pattern's “puzzle” serves to prove the concept of confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias is defined as the “tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or hypotheses” (source).

When playing the puzzle, guessers easily fall into the trap of proposing sequences that confirm what they already know. Though they receive “yes” after “yes,” no progress is made because no new information is obtained. New information comes with a “no.”

A“no” teaches limits. A “no” teaches what you can’t do, and thus, what you cando. A“no” teaches.

* * *

So what does this have to do with Selfless?

For a while now, Easton’s been stuck on progressing further in developing his game. It seemed like everything was going well — development of the characters, of the theme, of the visuals and mechanics. Every new move was a“yes” to this and a“yeah, let’s try that.” We wracked our brains to discover “yeses.” Kept trying things that fit what we already had — what we already considered a “yes.” Halted production until we found a “yes”... Until we completed halted production altogether.

Then finally. Just because... We went with something uncertain. Tried something different. A [3, 2, 1], instead of a [1, 2, 3]. A lot of what we were trying before suddenly looked different to us. Some “yeses” didn’t make sense anymore — we realized we didn’t completely understand why they were “yeses.” Perhaps they were a “no” all along.

“Yeses” aren’t bad. It’s just a “no” can be better.

The work we scrapped — despite the many hours that went into it — wasn’t a waste. We were, in fact, wading through a “no.” Learning our limits, what we can and can’t do. What Selfless should and shouldn’t be.

It was difficult to accept the change, but now we’re moving forward again.

* * *

All this just to say the game is taking a different direction?

I guess you could look at it that way. Yes — the game is making a slight left turn. But if that’s the way to our destination, then that’s where we’re heading.

As an artist, it can be hard to take a huge creative turn (or even a small one). Especially after investing a ton of time and effort into one idea. At a point, it doesn’t even seem worth throwing all that away. I’d rather just continue with what I have and make the most of it. Will that be satisfying though? Would you not have wasted ALL your time, as opposed to if you had started fresh a quarter-way through?

These are the choices we have to make sometimes. And we all come across it in the creative process.

But sometimes we need a reminder that it’s okay.

To start, I guess it’s probably worth sharing what Selfless is about and what it’s meant to be.

Easton is a game design student at NYU, and it’s his last year before graduation. So, for his senior year capstone — a project he’ll be dedicating nearly an entire year of time and effort to — he’s decided to tackle a personal project. Fast forward through weeks of brainstorming and ideation (I’ll save it for another post in the future), and here we are with Selfless.

Selfless, in Easton’s words, is an exploration (for both himself as an artist and all of us as players) of the self, family, time, and decisions. By design, Selfless will be a first-person experience in which you visit vignettes of relationship-defining memories.

It sounds like a lot of “???,” but I’ll break it down so it’s “!!!.”

Family is and always has been important to Easton. Knowing him from a very personal perspective, I know how much his family means to him and how much they love him too.

Selfless is a gift to his family.

His mother, father, brother, two sisters, and even one of his dogs all appear as characters in his game.

Humility and artistic license take reign though, and the Self family (yes, Easton’s family’s last name is Self) will manifest otherwise.

“I want these giant beasts that are walking away... that once you get closer to, they transform into people — they morph into their human figures [the Self family members]. I think that would be a cool chance for a metaphorical meaning to be applied.” — Easton

Fast forward again through more brainstorming, and here are the featured characters for Selfless:

Heidi | Easton’s mom, represented by a bear, protective, defensive

Gary | Easton’s dad, represented by a lion, strong, assertive, proud

Evan | Easton’s brother, represented by an eagle, resilient, a leader

Emma | Easton’s sister, represented by a snake, dynamic in transformation

Edan | Easton’s sister, represented by a lamb, innocent, gentle

Hope | Easton’s dog... we’re still thinking about Hope’s character

Representing these very real, but very specific people in Easton’s life, as animals — as “giant beasts” — not only presents an opportunity to make these characters real for the player through symbolism, but also provides the perfect nuances to the story Easton is trying to tell in his art.

Here’s a sneak peek at Easton’s mom’s character, with the rest to come this weekend!

My name is Kai, and I'm helping Easton produce this project — his right-hand man.

More important to this project, though, is Easton. Easton is the brains and, more importantly, the heart behind this project. A game developer with a focus and mission to bring art and meaning to the rising medium of games, Easton is now in the process of creating Selfless — a personal project about the self, family, time, and decisions.