meatball man

[source]

                                            I’m a b i n a r y code                                    that you cracked long ago,                                     but to you I’m just a 𝓷𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓵                                 that you wish you never wrote

“How bothersome.”

@seijishiketsu

Send my muse some flowers to convey your muse’s feelings towards them!

“It didn’t upset me.”

I’m just confused, he neglected to add. Confused for a lot of reasons.

Thinking back on it, he hadn’t necessarily disliked it at all. Sure, he’d been surprised, and it hadn’t been a stellar kiss, but the idea of it wasn’t revolting to him. That in itself was a confusing thought.

It, of course, sent him down a rabbit hole of other thoughts. That maybe his admiration and appreciation of Inasa hadn’t been strictly platonic. Maybe he’d been lying to himself about his feelings; he’d done it so many times, so it wouldn’t surprise him at all.

Seiji had always overcomplicated things, so it was no surprise he’d be doing this with his own feelings. He’d never considered the possibility of something more than friendship with anyone, so to suddenly be presented with the realization that he might actually be attracted to his closest friend..

Well, it was a lot to handle.

“You’ve done things in the spur of the moment before, so I understand if that was yet another example. Impulsivity isn’t the easiest thing in the world to manage.”

The idea that it was likely just an impulsive action suddenly seemed more bittersweet than anything.

“I forgive you.”

Inasa tensed with Seji’s explanation of his view on things, how he forgave him and saw it as nothing more than just an impulsive process as Inasa had gone through many times before. Though it was partly that, he hadn’t just gone out of his way to kiss someone before. Maybe a kiss on the cheek out of excitement but not –

Maybe he would share his thoughts, after all they were to the side of the buildings entrance, no one was paying them any mind on their departure, they were virtually alone… Breathing in deep, the gale let out a slightly shaken sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck, attempting to collect himself. His voice would lower as it had many times when they needed to speak more between themselves, just for Seiji to hear.

     "My heart swelled. I got excited, an I felt a lotta things, an I felt so good I…. Nnng… Yanno – I don’t just go for the lips on just anyone, Seiji. Never really donethatbefore, but my heart was in it more than my head, an I guess I – I just did what it wanted.“

Maybe there would be a better explanation, but there it came anyways. My heart made me do it! Kind of pathetic, and Inasa’s gaze rolled away elsewhere again. He didn’t want to leave this off with his best friend thinking he had stolen a kiss off impulse alone. It just didn’t feel right, even if it could save him embarrassment.

     "I mean – I’ve always sorta had thoughts about kissin’ ya I just… I never dared ta do somethin’ like that, trouble ya with somethin’ like that…”

Hugs were enough. Hugs, and time, and being close to his best friend – Those were all enough. He didn’t need to ruin it by kissing him, or trying to be even closer, but here he was. Ruining it.

He’d honestly expected Inasa to agree with him, or to maybe apologize more, but never in a million years had he expected something like that. After all, who would be attracted to him? Seiji, the ‘villainous’ Shiketsu student with a bad attitude. The one with a disgusting quirk and hardly any friends to speak of. The one who’d failed the lisence exam because of his own ego.

There were so many other things he could think of, reasons not to like himself, but he couldn’t let himself get wrapped up in that now. Inasa needed a response.

“I don’t get it.”

It was perhaps the worst way to start off what he was going to say, but it was the truth.

“That’s a lie, I suppose. I do get what you’re saying, but I don’t understand why it’s me you think this about. I’m an awful person to be the object of anyone’s affections.”

He sighed lightly.

“With that out of the way, I don’t know how to respond to this situation as a whole. I don’t.. I haven’t thought about my feelings towards you in that light until just now, actually, so it’s difficult to find something to say that reflects what I’m thinking..

“I really am bad at this- I want to say that I know what I’m feeling so I can give you a solid response, but what you did sort of skewed my perspective, because I didn’t hate it. I’d have shoved anyone else away, but I’m sure you know that.”

He drew in a breath. It was taxing for him to speak so freely about emotional matters.

“Inasa-!!”

He wasn’t mad about the kiss itself at all, but he was no less than pissed that Inasa had decided that running was the best option he had. It was understandable, of course, why he’d kissed Seiji in a rush of excitement, since adrenaline could lead to heightened impulsivity. So, he wouldn’t dare let his friend run from him. 

And, well, he needed to return Inasa’s things to him, so that was as good of an excuse as any to follow him out.

Gathering Inasa’s things, he made his way through the crowd. Everyone seemed to be leaving, now, but Seiji managed to slip between people to get towards the front of the crowd.

How inconvenient. Seiji shouldn’t have come, as it would have prevented this situation from taking place.

Sumbling outside among the first people to leave, he’d right himself before glancing around, spotting Inasa almost immediately.

The sight of him made him feel almost bad, but there was nothing besides approaching him that was an acceptable choice in his mind.

“Inasa. You didn’t need to run, I’m not mad at you.”

A few more steps and he was right in front of his friend.

“You forgot your things. I figured you wouldn’t want to go back and get them.”

     "I wasn’t r – “

Almost immediately, Inasa would jump to his own defense, ready to say that he hadn’t tried to run, that he just needed to go, but the look in Seiji’s eyes was enough to shut him up. There he was with his things, trying to tell him that he wasn’t mad for what had happened and…

Well, Inasa just quietly took his bag and items, setting the bag down as he pulled his hat and jacket back on. He could barely make eye contact with Seiji as he spoke,  brow knit tightly. Even if Seiji wasn’t angry with him, he was mad at himself.

“It didn’t upset me.”

I’m just confused, he neglected to add. Confused for a lot of reasons.

Thinking back on it, he hadn’t necessarily disliked it at all. Sure, he’d been surprised, and it hadn’t been a stellar kiss, but the idea of it wasn’t revolting to him. That in itself was a confusing thought.

It, of course, sent him down a rabbit hole of other thoughts. That maybe his admiration and appreciation of Inasa hadn’t been strictly platonic. Maybe he’d been lying to himself about his feelings; he’d done it so many times, so it wouldn’t surprise him at all.

Seiji had always overcomplicated things, so it was no surprise he’d be doing this with his own feelings. He’d never considered the possibility of something more than friendship with anyone, so to suddenly be presented with the realization that he might actually be attracted to his closest friend..

Well, it was a lot to handle.

“You’ve done things in the spur of the moment before, so I understand if that was yet another example. Impulsivity isn’t the easiest thing in the world to manage.”

The idea that it was likely just an impulsive action suddenly seemed more bittersweet than anything.

There was the question, and honestly the gale had hoped it would only pass in silence. That he wouldn’t have to see or acknowledge what he had just done, or what could come of it because that? That scared him more than anything. Seiji had said that Inasa would never lose him but…

Something like that…? How could he be so certain now?

Inasa’s hand would drop and he would fidget with his fingers, his ears were ringing with all of the loud voices around them but he could hear Seiji clear as day – Oh how he wished he couldn’t. There was rarely a time where a challenge or a confrontation was something he would run from but this –

All he could think to do was run.

     "H-Hey uh – I can’t hear ya too good but I – I should go! Yeah!!“

Flashing Seiji an uneasy grin, he’d move quicker than Seiji could catch him, stepping to the end of the bleachers, hopping down, and moving out into the hallways. He hoped Seiji wouldn’t follow him, but he knew that his upperclassman could be as determined as himself when seeking answers.

All he could do was slip out the front doors into the cold, where he would stand there slapping at his own cheeks as he scolded himself.

     ”Idiot… Idiot…. Stupid freakin’ moron – What were you thinking…? Oh that’s right, you weren’t, ‘cos you never think.“

He didn’t even think about the fact that he had left his hat, his jacket and his bag with Seiji, he just had to leave. He couldn’t face the potential consequences, or the fluttering in his heart, or the fact that he could still feel the kiss himself.  He wanted to beat himself up, but all he could do was stand there thudding the heel of his palm against his own forehead.

“Inasa-!!”

He wasn’t mad about the kiss itself at all, but he was no less than pissed that Inasa had decided that running was the best option he had. It was understandable, of course, why he’d kissed Seiji in a rush of excitement, since adrenaline could lead to heightened impulsivity. So, he wouldn’t dare let his friend run from him. 

And, well, he needed to return Inasa’s things to him, so that was as good of an excuse as any to follow him out.

Gathering Inasa’s things, he made his way through the crowd. Everyone seemed to be leaving, now, but Seiji managed to slip between people to get towards the front of the crowd.

How inconvenient. Seiji shouldn’t have come, as it would have prevented this situation from taking place.

Sumbling outside among the first people to leave, he’d right himself before glancing around, spotting Inasa almost immediately.

The sight of him made him feel almost bad, but there was nothing besides approaching him that was an acceptable choice in his mind.

“Inasa. You didn’t need to run, I’m not mad at you.”

A few more steps and he was right in front of his friend.