Lady Loki Has Big Dick Energy

Guys, I had the amazing opportunity to do an art collab with my friends @linootte and @ameliecausse <3

“curled up? in your puny lap? just how much did you drink already?”

good thing aesir!tony is about as strong as he’s stubborn and even just sitting like this looks pretty uncomfortable for both of them

(If I may…)

Like, just to reiterate, Frost Giants are able to burn Asgardians through touch alone with severe frostbite that even healing stones can’t fix completely (Or, technically, anyone who isn’t a Frost Giant I guess, but I imagine the results are far worse). And like fuck if that doesn’t say enough. Because those guys are made of some strong stuff.

But Loki fully expecting to burn, doesn’t.

Not only does he not burn, but his arm is forced into a form he’s never taken before, one that he didn’t cause or choose intentionally. It just did it. For him.

HE KNOWS. He knows what it must mean, but the fucking SHOCK of it. It can’t mean that. He must be thinking. It can’t be. But there’s no other immediate explanation!

And he doesn’t have time to think about it. He’s in the middle of a fight! This guys trying to kill him!So he has to snap out of it. And then he goes on to save literally almost EVERYONE ELSE!

But then.

But then.

This fucking tableau. This fucking tableau!!

Look at it! Actually, just stop reading this post and go watch this part of the movie! I won’t even blame you! Like holy fuck.

This shot gets me every time. It (unfortunately) goes by so fast in the actual movie but it is SO GOOD. This just. Dawning horror of taking a moment to process that that really just happened. The breathing. THE BREATHING. And he looks at his arm like it’s not even his. Like it’s something entirely alien to him. Because IT IS.

This kid is not ready for this information. He’s so very much not ready. He’s panicking, he’s in denial about it. He’s questioning absolutely everything he knows about himself and trying to make sense of it against this new reality that he’s just been dropped into. He’s wondering what am I? and formulating an answer that’s impossible to comprehend. And the worst part is, it makes sense.

It makes sense in the most awful way possible. And when that last bit of hope that he might be wrong— that last doubt— dies, when that thin steel rod holding him together finally snaps, he can’t even say that he doesn’t understand. Because, to Loki, this is the confirmation that not only are all his worst fears correct and 100% founded, but that they are a part of him he will never be able to circumvent. It’s all been in vein. And they’ve all known. They’ve known all along.

Everything he’s worked against himself for, everything he’s done, the way people have treated him his whole life, all the things that in his mind make him less than what he’s supposed to be…

And he can’t change a thing.

…Anyways, that shot of him looking at his arm might be one of my favorite cinematic moments of all time, and I’d just like everyone to appreciate it. That’s all.

Okay, so I want to talk about why Loki stabs Thor— or at least, why I think Loki stabs Thor. Because it’s become a bit of a joke in the MCU that Loki just goes around randomly trying to kill/hurt/stab Thor constantly for no reason, and I’m tired. Someone has definitely analyzed this scene before, but I can’t find those metas right now, and I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring because I keep thinking about it and why it speaks far more to his favor than not.

Just as a start off, Loki has (if you count TR) canonically stabbed Thor twice in the MCU, that’s it (unless you count the metaphorical kind, which would increase that number drastically). Once when they are children (which we lack context for), and in this scene right here:

THOR: Look at this! Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?

Thor and Loki have been going at it for a while at this point. And neither of them seem too committed to really hurting each other more than necessary. They’re both tired, they’re both scared (though they wouldn’t admit it), and they’re both hurt (in more than one sense).

And then Thor tries to reason with Loki again. He holds him still, leaving no room for escape, and forces him to confront the destruction this is causing, and Loki does.

Loki looks around and sees, truly, what is going on around him, and he’s horrified. He doesn’t want this, this wasn’t his goal, and now that it’s happening, it’s nothing like what he thought it would be.

And then we get this:

LOKI: (tries to look away) It's too late. It's too late to stop it.

This isn’t gloating, this is grief. He looks like he genuinely wants to put an end to the violence, but he doesn’t think it’s possible. He’s in over his head.

But Thor hasn’t given up yet. He still believes that they can work together, that their bond is strong enough to get through to Loki now that the seed of doubt has been planted. And you can practically see it working on Loki’s face. That he’s at war with his goals and his true desires and truly wants to say yes.

But Loki’s backed into a corner. At this point it’s important to remember he’s still under Thanos’s thumb, physically linked to the Other, being manipulated by the mind stone, and under threat and duress. To Loki, the choice Thor is giving him is not one he has the power to make. Still, he can’t trust himself to say no. He’s compromised, emotionally, and as long as Thor’s there daring to believe in him, he’s in danger.

THOR: No. We can. Together.

So Loki no longer wants to win, but he can’t, can’t say that, and so he gives himself an out the only way he thinks is possible. If he can’t make himself say no, and he can’t let himself say yes, he has to put distance between them, he has to get Thor to stop trying.

And so he stabs him— with a dagger that nominally would never do major harm to an Asgardian, aimed in an incredibly non lethal area.

To Loki at this moment, he’s acting out of desperate self preservation (admittedly in a way that is in reality self destructive, but, still…) And it works! His terrible plan works! (Yay for everyone but Loki!)

God he looks heartbroken. It’s like he knows if this works that Thor will give up on him, maybe, but that’s what he’s wanted, right? Right? (Wrong!)

And finally we have the iconic line:

LOKI: Sentiment

It’s said in a mocking tone, but not necessarily to Thor. This, to me (and other people I’ve heard analyze this scene) is said to himself. For letting himself be swayed by what he considers his greatest weakness, sentiment (and, possibly even more, Thor himself).

I don’t have a gif for this one, but I love when people reference him leaving the staff behind. Because it’s very clearly an act of helpfulness through omission. Loki cannot accept Thor’s help, or his entreatment to help, so he does the next best thing— leave the staff— which effectively grants the Avengers the final (literal) key they need in order to win.

I always think of this scene as a great climax of all the pressure Loki is under to perform in this movie. His mask breaks, and he nearly gives in, but in the end his fear is too strong. And so, like a trapped animal, he lashes out in order to remove himself from the situation.

Loki Week: Day Three - Magic

Seidr;

Then there are the two more ‘effeminate’ forms of magic: seiðr and spá. seiðr is a very broad category of magic; it encompasses illusions, battle-magic, prophecy, causing physical phenomena such as earthquakes and storms, potion-brewing, healing, and shapeshifting, amongst other things3. it has certain connotations of evil and untruthfulness behind it because of what seiðr-workers can do. spákonur and völur, by comparison, work specifically in the realm of prophecy, or what is called ørlög: the law of how things shall be, as laid down by the norns. the prophecy of a seiðr-worker is not the same sort as that of a spákona; rather than perceiving ørlög directly, the seiðr-worker gains the knowledge of it by using the spell vardlokur, that is, summoning spirits4.

argr amab seiðr-workers are sometimes called seiðskrattar5. another term is seiðberendr6; sometimes considered a way to refer to any seiðr-worker because berendi literally means “carrier”, however it was used often as a term for the womb7, and has connections to transwomen who used witchcraft to combat their dysphoria8.

loki is innately connected to the concept of ergi; one of their kennings is rög vættr, another áss ragr—both can be  translated as, roughly, “the queer god”9. they have been a mother several times, and they are said to have given birth to all witches10. (let’s assume that’s metaphorical.)

despite not often being brought up in mythological discussion as a seiðberendi, their status as such is inarguable. strangely, though, their most obvious use of magic, their shapeshifting, doesn’t appear to be the traditional sort of shapeshifting used by a seið-worker. a shapeshifter in this vein is called an hamhleypa11, and while they take on new forms, their native body lies inert. if you’re familiar with discworld, you’ll recognise granny weatherwax as an hamhleypa, though she’s not named as such. of course, given that loki embodies the liminal, boundary-crossing aspects of seiðr, perhaps that should be expected of them.

1 schnurbein; shamanism in the old norse tradition

2lokasenna, et al. “en þik síða kóðu/sámseyu í,/ok draptu á vétt sem völur;/vitka líki/fórtu verþjóð yfir,/ok hugða ek þat args aðal”

3 callaghan; magic beyond the binary: magic and gender in the poetic edda

4 eiriks saga rauda, et al.

5sørensen; norrønt nid: forestillingen om den umandige mand i de islandske sagaer (sidenote: in modern icelandic, skratti now means “demon”. gotta love christianisation.)

6hyndluljóð, et al. “ero völur allar frá viðolfi/vitkar allir fra vílmeiði/seiðberendr frá svartöfða/iötnar allir frá ymi komnir”

7 strömbäck; sejd: textstudier i nordisk religionshistoria

8 fritzner; ordbog over det gamle norske sprog

9 ergi as a concept is difficult to define; it’s often said to mean “unmanliness”, but that’s a vast simplification. it comes from proto-indo-european h₃orǵʰ-, meaning “to have sex” (which comes to modern english, incidentally, in the form of “eerie”), defined by seiðberendr both in the past and present as not only gender transgressing behaviour and/or sexual activities but being, essentially, ‘out’, willingly taking on the taboos associated with them.

10hyndluljóð. “varð loptr kviðugr at kono illri,/ϸaðan es á foldo flagð hvert komit”

I am BEYOND excited to share the cover reveal of the Loki Little Golden Book!

I had the pleasure of illustrating it and I could not be more excited to share it with the world!

I grew up reading and loving Little Golden Book story time with my Mom! The stories were always the perfect length for read-aloud time and the illustrations always took me to different worlds! I am just over the moon ( and a little emotional :P) to think about a new generation of kids looking at a Little Golden Book that I was lucky enough to help bring to life!

—

“Welcome to Asgard!”

Donna stared at him with a touch of revulsion. “What-gard? Honestly, if you’re making fun of me again—”

“No! No, no, no! That’s really the name! You know…Norse mythology? Odin? Balder? Thor?”

Donna frowned but he saw it click as she nodded. “So…what. Even places from mythology are real?”

“You’ve been travelling with me for a while. You should know that nearly everything’s real.”

Donna rolled her eyes. “Well, get on with it!”

“Technically, this isn’t really Norse mythology. They’re from a different planet. Aliens.”

“So, how—”

But at that moment, the Doctor raised a finger to his lips, silently shushing her. Donna drew herself up indignantly (she hated it when the Doctor tried to shush her), but turned sharply to the bushes behind her.

There was something there.

The Doctor crept forward soundlessly, slipping his hand into his pocket and taking his sonic screwdriver out just in case, when a small boy fell out of the bushes and at the Doctor’s feet. Immediately, the Doctor swooped down and helped him up, brushing him off.

“Who are you?” the boy asked, glancing between Donna and the Doctor. He didn’t look scared, however. Simply curious.

“I’m the Doctor!” the Doctor replied, putting the sonic screwdriver back in his pocket.

“A doctor?” the boy asked before peering over his shoulder to look at Donna. “Is the fireheaded one a doctor too?”

Donna glared at the boy. “Oi! The name’s Donna and I’ll have you know—”

“Moving on,” the Doctor said hastily. ”Who are you?”

“I am Loki,” the boy replied. “And if you’re a doctor, do you think you can help me?”

“Help you? With what?”

The boy shifted from one foot to the other as if he wasn’t quite sure what to say. “I’m…different. I want to be fixed, if you can.”

The Doctor frowned, kneeling down so that he was the same height as the boy. “Fix you?”

He nodded. “Yes. I’m…different.”

Donna stepped forward and knelt down beside the Doctor. “There’s nothing wrong with being different.”

“There is if you’re a Prince,” he said. “My brother is a prince, too, but he’s much better at it than I am. Sometimes…sometimes I think Father loves him more than he loves me.”

“And what makes you say that?” Donna asked, her brows coming together.

“I…just the way he looks at him. I could never be as strong or as important as Thor. Father says we’ll both be kings and I believe him but it’s…hard. It’s lonely.”

Donna’s expression softened. “I know the feeling,” she said. “Like you’re not good enough. Not significant. But,” she looked to the Doctor for a moment before turning her attention back to Loki, “there’s nothing wrong with being a bit different. It doesn’t mean you won’t make a great king or that there’s something wrong with you. Do you understand?”

The Doctor grinned. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Loki tilted his head slightly. Nobody had ever put it quite like that before. “But, my brother—”

“—is not you,” Donna finished. “And that’s perfectly fine.”

“In fact,” the Doctor added, grinning, “it’s fantastic. Can you imagine if everybody was your brother?”

“It would be rather strange, wouldn’t it?” Loki giggled before looking up at the sky and jumping up. “I have to go now!” he said, running down the path toward an enormous castle. He stopped, turning back for a moment. “Thank you!”

Donna stared at the spot the boy had stood. “So that was Loki?”

“God of mischief himself,” the Doctor nodded. “Lovely little fellow, wasn’t he.”

“He called me a firehead.”

“Well…you do sort of—”

“If you finish that sentence, space man, I’ll clobber you.”

~

“It’s been a long time, Doctor.”

The Doctor looked up in surprise to see a dark haired man in a stiff looking costume walking toward him, a smile playing on his thin lips.

Loki.

“Yeah…” he said, taking in the man’s appearance. He was much different from the boy that he had met with Donna on Asgard. “You’ve changed.”

Loki let out a small laugh. “You haven’t, though.” He dragged his thin fingers along the edge of the table. “I suppose Donna no longer travels with you.”

The Doctor paused for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”

“That’s a shame. I liked her hair,” Loki murmured, his grin widening as he sat down across from the Doctor. “The fireheaded one.”

The Doctor finally smiled. “She was rather hotheaded, wasn’t she.”

“She was interesting. What happened to her?”

The Doctor could feel his smile fade away slightly. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened. The wound was still fresh.

“She…she left.”

“Did you anger her?”

I thought I was gonna be with you forever. He could still see her face, the complete brokenness behind her eyes. He could remember how he had held her as her memories slipped away, one by one until she could remember nothing about her adventures. Nothing about the TARDIS. Nothing about him.

“Something like that, yeah,” the Doctor said. “I suppose you could say I let her down.”

“Did you acquire another companion?”

He shook his head. He had had enough companions. In the end, they all left. In the end, he was always left heartbroken. He supposed…alone was better. Alone protected him.

—

“Good,” Loki nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the Doctor. “It’s always better to be alone. You can’t trust others.”

The Doctor met the calm, cold gaze of the God in front of him. It was true that he had changed. The innocence that had once been behind those eyes was now gone and was replaced with something more sinister. Although he was smiling, a chillingly cold iciness still remained in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Loki asked softly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“Why are you doing this, Loki?”

“Doing what? Saving these pathetic humans from themselves? I do it out of the goodness of my heart, Doctor. Nothing more.”

The Doctor shook his head. “No, there’s something else at work here. When I last saw you, you were—”

“—a boy,” Loki hissed, the smile fading away quickly. “Nothing but a stupid, blind, idiotic boy who got tricked into thinking that he was worthy of the throne.”

“That’s not true, and you know it. What’s made you so angry? So…hateful?”

Loki’s smile was completely gone now. He rolled his sleeve up to reveal his grotesquely blue arm. The Doctor frowned, leaning forward for a closer look.

“I am not my father’s son, Doctor. I never was. Do you see this?” he shook the arm in front of the Doctor, his voice becoming louder and louder. “This is what I am, Doctor. I was never as Asgardian. I was never one of them. How could I be? The only reason my father kept me was for his political agenda!”

“Oh, Loki,” the Doctor said softly, reaching for the blue arm. Loki drew it back quickly.

“Do not dare to pity me, Doctor,” he said warningly, his eyes flickering red for a moment. “I have used who I am…what I am…to put myself forward. Isn’t that what you had taught me? Differences aren’t a bad thing.”

“No, they’re not, but—”

“I will prove that I am worthy to be a King!” Loki shouted, his voice reverberating through the room.

“So, that’s what this is about? You want to prove you can be a King?”

Loki swooped down so that his face was inches from the Doctor’s. “Do you know what my father,” he spat the word as if it were something vile, “did to me, Doctor? Did you know that he lied to me my entire life? Did you know that he stole me from the very creatures that he trained me to fight? He raised me to turn against my own kin all the while dangling the throne in front of me, promising it to me when I was older. He said that both my brother and I would be kings. And when I was dangling off of the Bifrost Bridge, he rubbed it in my face. ‘No, Loki,’ he said. Always, always no. It’s not wonder that I’ve become a monster.”

“You’re not a—”

But at this, Loki stumbled backward, his eyes, not a deep red, wide with unrestrained anger, seeming even brighter in his now pale blue face. “LOOK AT ME! IS THIS NOT THE FORM OF A MONSTER?”

The Doctor rose quickly and walked around the table, but Loki stepped backward again.

“DON’T COME NEAR ME!”

But, as always, the Doctor didn’t listen. “We’re all monsters, Loki,” he said loudly. “Every single one of us. Every human, every creature, even me. I’m a monster, too. I’ve killed and I’ve destroyed and all I do is run away! But, you, you are far from a monster. When I met you, you were such a clever boy. You still are.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Loki whispered.

The Doctor suddenly closed the distance between them, drawing the broken God into his arms, ignoring the horrible coldness that entered his bones as soon as he touched him.

hey friend! you know what? i actually remembered that i do have one more drawing with these two that i haven’t posted yet! it’s a little old though, but i still like it!

sorry it’s in russian (i’m a bit lazy to translate it, sorry haha), Peter’s just bombarding Loki with questions upon how do his illusions work while they’re going for some coffee :)

and i LOVED the idea of their friendship so much!! thanks for reminding me of that, i’m really looking forward to do more drawings of their interactions c: (previous post with peter and loki friendship)