lils

you didn’t even bothering responding to the last text. you had already cast your phone aside, leaping to your feet to go dive into your closet. you shoved clothes around, growing incredibly stressed.

you’d always hated last second plans like this. it threw your whole day out of whack, and often made you upset. a knot formed in your stomach, your throat feeling a bit tight as you dug through shirts, searching for the red sox jersey your uncle had given you years back.

you finally found it, tossing it onto your bed. you found a pair of jean shorts and a white tube top to go underneath it. you got dressed, not having enough time to look at yourself in the mirror very long before you were heading to the bathroom to do your makeup.

you washed your face and did your skincare, trying to ignore the thrum of anxiety building under your skin. your ribs felt too tight suddenly, a frantic sort of energy pressing against them as you rushed to brush bronzer across your cheekbones.

your lip was trembling as you did your lipliner, and your eyes watered while you did your mascara. you knew you needed to calm down, that this was no big deal, that you’d have fun. but as your curled your hair, your brush got stuck and it was your absolute last straw.

you set the curling wand on the sink, stepping back to stare up at the ceiling. your breath came in shaky, shallow pulls. you dabbed at the tears with a piece of toilet paper, sniffling quietly.

you heard muffled voices downstairs, then footsteps on the stairs, and a knock on the bathroom door.

“honey? will is here. want me to tell him to come in?”

you tried to even your breath out before responding.

“yeah. yeah, that’s fine.”

you managed, praying she hadn’t noticed the way your voice cracked halfway through the sentence. she must not’ve, with how the steps receded back down the hall.

you pulled yourself together, no longer holding back tears, but now just buzzing with a undercurrent of anxious emotion.

“…just in here, sweetheart. sorry for the mess, i wasn’t expecting company.”

“oh, no worries, mrs. y/l/n. you’d hate to see my room.”

“i’m sure i would.”

their polite laughter echoed down the hall, before you heard a new set of steps approaching. a soft knock came, a little higher up on the door than your mother’s.

“y/n? you almost ready?”

you opened the door, holding the curling wand in one hand. you gave a tight smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. once again, you were hoping to avoid detection.

“yeah, almost. sorry.”

he noticed immediately. of course he did. he frowned a little, eyeing you like you might explode.

“…don’t. don’t be sorry, it’s fine. you okay?”

the concern in his voice was too much. you turned away, facing the mirror again as you released one of the last curls. you wound a new section of hair, avoiding his gaze. you could feel him staring at you in the mirror.

“im fine. just stressed. not great with last second stuff.”

silence.

you risked a glance up, finding him indeed looking at you in the reflection. but he was frowning, eyebrows creased with something like guilt.

“m’ sorry. you didn’t have to if you really didn’t want to.”

“no, it’s fine, will. i’m being dramatic. i’ll survive.”

“promise?”

“pinky.”

he seemed only half reassured, but didn’t want to press it. you finished up your hair, shaking them out until they fell in soft waves down your shoulders.

“least your hair looks cool.”

“cool?”

“…yeah.”

“oh, thank god. cool is exactly what i was aiming for.”

you joked, sarcasm dripping from your words as you glanced over at him, a hint of a smile on your lips. his shoulders seemed to relax a fraction when he saw it, a faint grin of his own appearing.

“‘kay, you ready now?”

“yep.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

the drive was fairly uneventful. you were slouched in the passenger seat, your feet up on the dash, his phone in your hand as you scrolled through spotify.

“put your feet down.”

“mmh.. no.”

“so difficult for what..”

“‘cause i can be.”

“spoiled.”

“damn right i am.”

you put on one of his country playlists, the one you guys usually listened to when you were in the car. you turned up the volume a little, leaning your head back as you hummed along under your breath.

“don’t fall asleep, yeah?”

“not planning on it?”

“good, ‘cause i need help with the directions.”

it was a normal thing to say, but for some reason, the way he said it immediately made you suspicious. you’d never been very far with him behind the wheel, really only to each others houses or to go drive around within a five mile radius. you looked over at him, immediately noting how he was leaning forward a little and gripping the steering wheel.

“william.”

“huh?”

“why do you look scared?”

“m’not scared.”

“you look terrified.”

“no i don’t.”

“do to.”

“nuh-uh.”

“don’t gaslight me. anti-feminist. im telling grace.”

“what the fuck??”

you bickered for another fifteen minutes, mostly joking around. until it was time to exit the highway.

“will.”

“what now?”

“your exit.”

you pointed up ahead, to the exit that he was still two lanes away from.

“thanks for the fucking heads up.”

he muttered, obviously sarcastic.

“anytime.”

“smartass.”

“man, shut up and figure out where you’re going.”

“…yes ma’am.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

by the time you got to the parking lot, you couldn’t even count the amount of near-crashes on one hand. or two.

honestly, it was a miracle you made it into the parking space with both hands intact.

“shoot. would you take these? my pockets aren’t big enough.”

you handed him your phone and wallet. he tossed your wallet back into the car before shutting his door, a wordless gesture. you gave him a look.

“really?”

“what?”

“my wallet..?”

“its not like you’re gonna need it?”

“…you’re ridiculous.”

“whatever.”

he shrugged, slipping your phone into his back pocket alongside his own. you fell into step together, keeping close through the bustling boston pre-baseball-game crowd.

the flow of people only got denser closer to fenway park. you kept bumping arms with randoms, kept getting flat tired by the middle aged dude behind you who was ranting to his buddy about the beer prices in the stadium.

the knot in your ribs grew tighter again, your chest feeling too small for your heart and lungs to work properly. your fingers found your necklace, twisting it nervously, your eyes darting around, constantly surveilling the crowd.

will recognized it immediately, his hand automatically finding the small of your back. it made your stomach flip in a more pleasant way, the pressure on your sternum lifting just a little as he tugged you closer.

“you still okay?”

“yeah. just.. lotta people.”

“i know. s’all good. almost there.”

the words, along with the sweep of his thumb over the bare skin above the waistband of your shorts, allowed you to ease enough to focus on walking.

“my mom said she saved good seats.”

“oh, there’s others coming?”

silence. you glanced over, raising an eyebrow, assuming he hadn’t heard you. but he had his nose scrunched like he was wishing you hadn’t asked.

“uhm.. yeah.”

“okay?? who?”

“grace and her friends. and my family.”

he said slowly, thoroughly confusing you.

“oh. okay. why’s that so bad?”

he exhaled, looking both ways before guiding you across the street, his hand never leaving your spine.

“just.. you’ll see. it’ll be fine.”

“that’s so not reassuring at all, will.”

“i know. sorry.”

“sure.”

“don’t freak out about it yet. im serious, it’ll be fine.”

“right, so why are you acting like you’re sending me to the gallows, then?”

“im not.”

“alright, buddy.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you finally got through security. will had somehow managed to trigger the metal detector, and had gotten pulled aside. it had been a whole thing; you standing there all stressed out, him awkwardly fumbling with the contents of his pockets.

but now you were in the stadium, following the flow of traffic. the scent of roasted almonds and beer floated about, the announcer’s voice booming, the late july sun beating down on your cheeks.

it was thoroughly overwhelming, but will led you through the crowd with a hand on your elbow, finding your way to the seats.

it didn’t take long to realize what he’d been alluding to.

a sea of people, all of whom looked eerily alike to will, filled section 148. he glanced over at you, giving an apologetic wince.

“sorry, i probably should’ve war-“

“oh my gaaaawwwsh! will! she’s so pretty!”

he stopped abruptly at the voice, his cheeks turning red. you didn’t have time to notice, too busy being pulled in for a hug by some random woman you’d never met before.

“hi, aunt mia.”

he said, sounding defeated. she didn’t seem to notice. she was far too occupied with you, holding you by the shoulders as she beamed at you.

you smiled back, awkward and a bit lost.

“hi. im y/n.”

“oh, i know, honey. will’s told us plenty.”

a quiet groan from your right.

“really?”

“absolutely. he didn’t say you were so gorgeous, though!”

your face felt warm. she turned her head, looking over at the group she’d split from.

“sarah! c’mere! come see will’s little girlfriend!”

“auntie.”

“what?”

“not my girlfriend.”

will mumbled, ears bright red. you held back a laugh.

“sure. sarah!”

aunt mia rolled her eyes, brushing him off easily. the woman who must be sarah found her way over, a warm smile on her face.

“oh, wow. she is pretty.”

she gasped a little, standing next to mia. they both were now just looking at you, and suddenly you felt a lot like a painting on display, being reviewed by art snobs.

“i know, right?”

“how’d will manage?”

a squawk came from will, who looked like he couldn’t decide if he was more mortified or offended.

“hey!”

“you shush.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you didn’t even make it to a seat until the third inning.

you’d been passed around from person to person, enduring the curiosity of the aunties and grandmas, shaking hands clumsily with his uncles and cousins and grandpas.

but finally, he’d grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the fourth aunt you’d met.

“okay, that’s enough.”

“but-“

“no, really, that’s enough.”

he said it a bit more firmly than you’d expected, seeming genuinely annoyed. you shared a glance with the aunt, before giving an apologetic shrug and allowing him to pull you away.

“im really sorry.”

he said gently, looking over at you like he was making sure you were still living and breathing. you just shook your head.

“its okay. they’re nice.”

“more like obnoxious.”

you found your seats, nestled in the corner with the younger cousins. it was simpler there, most of them occupied with chatting with each other already.

“will.”

“what?”

he sighed, clearly irritated. not with you, but it had begun seeping into his tone.

“they just care about you, about what you do in your life.”

“would it hurt for them to, like, not care so much?”

“you’d hate that and we both know it.”

“probably.”

you gave up, sitting back and turning your attention to the field. you were really close, now that you noticed. you stared out at the players, watching them run around and do whatever the hell baseball players do.

“..how’s that not a challenge?”

he mumbled under his breath, leaning forward, brows drawn together.

“a what?”

“a challenge.”

“i heard you. what’s a challenge?”

he looked at you like you’d just asked if the sky was green.

“what’d you just say?”

“are you deaf?”

“are you living under a rock?”

“why should i know what a challenge is?”

“everybody knows that!”

“not me!”

“do you know what an out is?”

your brows pulled together, and you turned away from him, staring defiantly in any direction but his.

“y/n.”

“no.”

he laughed, a fond sound. his arm stretched across the back of your chair, behind your shoulders.

“y/n.”

“i said no.”

“how have you lived seventeen years in boston without learning how baseball works?”

“how have you lived seventeen years on earth without learning how to follow the gps?”

“oh, that was a low blow.”

“sucks to suck, i guess.”

you shrugged, arms crossed.

he gave up after a bit. you tried to watch the game. you really did. but it made no sense at all. you were bored. and the sun was beaming down on your face. and there was no wind. and you were thirsty.

you pushed your sunglasses down onto your face, squinting to try to see anything. the rays of light only dimmed, not disappeared.

“i can’t fucking see.”

“why?”

“too bright. my sunglasses aren’t doing shit.”

he sighed a little, and you felt his arm lift from behind you. he tugged his hat off, running a hand through his hair to fluff it back up where it had been flattened. he handed it to you.

“there.”

“you sure? how’re you gonna see?”

“dunno. i’ll survive. i can understand the scoreboard.”

“okay.. thanks.”

you slipped the baseball cap onto your head, a welcome reprieve from the harsh sun in your eyes. you felt his gaze on you the second the hat touched your head.

“looks good on you.”

“oh, sure it does.”

you laughed, rolling your eyes. but when you glanced over, he just had this slight smile on his lips, an absentminded curve. it was so warm it made your chest feel fuzzy.

“no, really. it does.”

“oh. okay.”

he exhaled a soft laugh, shaking his head and turning his attention to the game. his arm slipped behind your shoulders again, brushing against your back this time. only a few minutes later, during a supposedly interesting part, you noticed that he was toying with the ends of your hair idly, his face all scrunched with focus.

“will?”

“hmm?”

“what’re you doin’?”

“hmm?”

“nevermind.”

“mmhm.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

part two soon

it had only been maybe ten minutes since you fell asleep on will’s shoulder. he’d kept playing cards against humanity, though his heart clearly wasn’t in it anymore. he hadn’t won a round since you’d knocked out.

it was clara’s turn to read the cards. she laughed at least a little at each, until she got to will’s card.

“man, that’s just sad. what’s this even supposed to mean?”

she looked up, raising an amused eyebrow.

“jeez, i’ll just fucking die i guess.”

he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling slightly. he would’ve laughed it off, but he was too scared to wake you.

“y/n, you’re just gonna let that happen?”

clara joked, glancing up from the cards to look at you. her expression softened immediately, finding you slumped against his side, your head slotted in the crook of his neck.

“ohmygosh i can’t even..”

she practically cooed.

will winced, cheeks heating up. he just focused on the cards as best as he could.

“she’s just tired. not that big of a deal.”

he muttered, reorganizing his cards yet again. it was unnecessary; he’d been shuffling them nervously since you put your head on his shoulder.

“not that big of a deal. yeah, okay. mr nonchalant over here.. whatever, new round.”

clara sighed dramatically, reaching for a new card.

will realized he’d need one, too.

“uhm..”

he hummed under his breath in concentration as he sat up, so very carefully, setting his cards aside. he wasn’t sure how to do this without waking you up.

he slipped his arm from under you and brought it around you instead, momentarily holding your head to his shoulder. it kept you asleep and secure as he picked up a new card.

he settled back down, feeling clara stare at him. he didn’t even want to know what kind of look he was receiving right now. he just tightened his arm around your shoulders, holding you under his chin so he could still see his cards.

that’s the only reason. so he could see his cards.

right.

“you want a beer, smitty?”

“god, please.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

the game continued for more than another half an hour, but eventually will realized he couldn’t even remember what card he’d played in the last five minutes. there was no way to blame the lack of focus on the two cans he’d worked through. simply, he’d been too focused on the rise and fall of your breaths under his arm, against his chest.

and he was growing drowsy. his blinks had gotten heavier, and he was struggling to read the cards and make them make sense in his head. after a long couple of minutes of internal debate, he decided that there was really nothing to lose. liquid courage or not.

quietly, he set his cards down. everybody continued on, laughing and joking around and being generally loud.

he just tugged his hood up, shifting so you both were leaning to the right. he rested his head on top of yours, his arms now a loop around you.

you stirred slightly as he nudged you closer, gently, trying noticeably hard to not wake you.

“mmh.. will?”

“mhm?”

“mkay..”

“s’this okay?”

“mmhm. s‘okay.”

silence fell between you two as you began to drift back into unconsciousness. but you were just awake enough.

“you smell like beer.”

he laughed quietly at the way your nose scrunched up a little. he rubbed your arm absentmindedly, as if comforting you.

“…yeah. m’sorry.”

“s’okay. i don’t mind.”

“you sure?”

“m’sure. too tired to care.”

“okay.”

“mkay.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

will didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep. the only reason he did was because of the sudden bright light in his face.

“what.. the fuck..?”

he went to lift his arm to block it, but found he was stuck. that’s when the weight on his side registered.

and that’s when the light disappeared.

groaning, will squinted at the pale world as it came into focus again, colors returning after he’d been blinded.

“got it!”

clara squealed, slipping her digital camera into her pocket. wills eyes snapped open.

“what?”

“hi.”

“clara, dude, what’re you doin’?”

“shush it’ll be cute.”

“what?”

“unimportant.”

“i really don’t think so??”

“shush.”

will stared at her, disorientated and quite frankly not happy to be awake right now.

“what time is it?”

“time for you to leave.”

“what?”

“it’s one. you’ve been out for like two hours.”

“what?”

“mhm. you sober?”

“what?”

“holy fuck. im talking to helen keller. are you sober?”

will paused, pressing his lips together as he thought about it. he decided he felt completely normal.

“yeah?”

“good, get out of my house.”

“im not in your house, actually. we’re outside.”

“william.”

“jesus, alright, fine.”

he mumbled, sitting up slowly. your brows pulled together, evidently confused at to why you were moving. the motion pulled you towards consciousness.

“hmm?”

you blinked sleepily up at will, eyes unfocused.

“just me.”

“will?”

“no, it’s the other guy you fell asleep on.”

“what?”

“im fucking with you. it’s will.”

“okay.”

“sorry.”

you didn’t even really register any of this. you were still half asleep, stretching against him.

“where’re we goin’..?”

“clara’s kicking us out.”

“what?”

“it’s one in the morning.”

“what?”

“me too.”

“what the fuck are you talking about right now?”

you sighed heavily, dropping your head again. you had always been a deep sleeper, and it took more time to wake up than you’d prefer.

“you have a ride home?”

“mhm.”

“who?”

“…myself?”

“you?”

“that’s what i just said, dumbass.”

“you’re literally asleep right now.”

“no im not. im talking to you.”

“barely.”

“shut up.”

will exhaled, looking around. everyone was trickling towards the back gate, towards their cars. then he looked back down to you, who’d already closed your eyes again.

his mind was made up.

“im taking you home.”

“what?”

“up you get.”

“what?”

he could see why clara had gotten so irritated with him now.

you whined the entire walk to his car, leaning on him and telling him this was stupid and that you should just drive yourself.

“im done.”

you announced groggily, slipping out of his grasp. you plopped down on the sidewalk, sprawling lazily on your stomach.

“sleepin’ right here. s’like a sit down strike. you can’t take me home if i don’t move.”

will stared at you. then looked around. he really didn’t want to be cliche and do this, but obviously this was the only way you would allow him to get you home.

“you’re a pain in the ass.”

he sighed, reaching down to grab you under the arms. you squeaked, squirming as it tickled. he ignored you and heaved you over his shoulder.

“what in the fuck are you doing?”

“taking you home.”

“this is not a disney movie, will.”

“really? never noticed.”

you rolled your eyes at the sarcasm.

“smartass.”

“stubborn.”

you gave up, letting this happen. the blood rushed slowly to your head as you dangled over his shoulder.

“so.. put me down?”

“hell no.”

“i hate you.”

“yep.”

he kept one hand on the back of your thighs, the other fishing his keys from his pocket. he unlocked the car, opened the passenger door, and set you down in your seat.

you were silent for the first five minutes of the drive, the only noise the nhl network radio on volume two. it was an act of defiance on your part, silent protest over having been abducted.

“can we get taco bell?”

“oh so now you’re talking to me?”

“yes.”

“you piss me off.”

“but can we get taco bell?”

“no. fuck you.”

you had a baja blast in your hands not even fifteen minutes later.

“i feel like im getting skin cancer.”

“good.”

“good?”

“means it’s working, duh.”

you lifted your head, looking over at clara. you were currently basking on her pool deck, the UV having been 8 today.

“i mean.. okay.”

you sighed, dropping your head again. your cheeks felt like they were actively catching fire, but that was a good sign according to clara.

“when’s everyone getting here again?”

“mmh.. in like an hour.”

“okay.”

silence settled between you two as you got lost in your thoughts. you had an hour until he was here. you had an hour until you were in a bikini, no makeup, and no contacts in, in front of him. your stomach flipped nervously.

“it’s gonna be fine.”

her voice broke you out of your little reverie.

“hmm?”

clara pushed her sunglasses onto her head, rolling onto her stomach to look up at you. she sighed, pursing her lips a little, how she looked when she was about to read you a bit too well. having been best friends since first grade, she did that a lot.

“with will. it’s gonna be fine.”

“why would you think it wouldn’t be?”

she gave you a flat look.

“not me, babe. i’ve seen you checking every mirror we’ve been by all morning. don’t worry. you’re bad as fuck. if it was will.. bro, i could never fumble.”

you laughed, your cheeks warm from something other than the sun. you nodded slowly, relieved and grateful.

“okay. thanks, clara.”

“yup. now get back to it, you need your freckles back.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

over the next hour, you spent your time rotating between tanning and swimming. it was nearly 95 degrees out mid-july, so really there was no way to be outside unless water was involved. people had started arriving, and you said hi to them, but left it at that, as you were on a mission to get a little more sun.

you were on your fifth tanning shift when you heard footsteps and a familiar voice.

“i don’t think you can sleep there.”

“really, smartass.”

“kinda looks like suddan hussein hiding spot.”

you laughed, sliding your sunglasses into your hair to look up at him. his face was blurry and the sun behind him really wasn’t helping.

“hey.”

“hi.”

you laid there for a moment, squinting up at him. he tilted his head, a faint grin on his lips that you could make out even without your contacts in.

“you okay?”

“yeah. kinda can’t see you.”

“hm? ‘cause the sun?”

he asked, stepping into the sun’s direct path, in hopes of you being able to see him better. he blocked the light and shade fell over your face, relieving you of the sun’s warmth.

“‘cause im blind.”

he raised his eyebrows, laughing.

“oh. dunno what to do about that.”

“you can move outta the way, so i can tan.”

you closed your eyes, setting your sunnies back on. the shadow over you didn’t budge.

“nah.”

“what could you possibly mean by ‘nah’?”

“m’not moving.”

you glared blindly up at him. he was grinning down at you, obviously having too much fun with this. you couldn’t help the way the corner of your lips twitched up. you sighed, accepting that this was happening.

“do you do this to grace?”

“absolutely.”

“marvelous.”

you decided to just ignore it, closing your eyes again. but then you felt something light and a little scratchy fall across your torso, at the exact same time as the shadow over you disappeared. your brows furrowed.

“what’s tha- ouufff.”

you wheezed as he laid across your middle, his head propped up on your ribs, lying on his back over you with a towel underneath him. you glared down at him, but he just rested his arms behind his head with a contented sigh.

“what? im tanning.”

“you’re ridiculous.”

“shh, you’re like, blocking the rays. with your voice. noise pollution, or whatever it’s called.”

“your white ass is not tanning.”

“shh.”

“why are you such a diva?”

“i said shh.”

“i hate you.”

“am i muted?”

you huffed a breath out, shaking your head but relaxing against the deck again. you actually didn’t mind this at all. the proximity was quite nice. you just hoped he couldn’t feel your heartbeat underneath him.

“im gonna have a will smith shaped tan line.”

“i’ll autograph it for you. so, you’re welcome.”

“die actually.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you had convinced will to get up after about ten minutes of frying in the sun.

“wanna get in?”

you asked, standing up. you were stretching your arms up when a hand set right between your shoulder blades. youd barely opened your mouth to ask what he was doing when you were shoved forward, straight into the deep end.

squealing, you splashed down, having to scramble to make sure your top stayed on. you resurfaced, shooting him a look.

“you’re mean.”

“am i?”

“…yes.”

“sure.”

he laughed, jumping in nearly on top of you. you were forced to go under, pushing him away beneath the water with a hand to his chest. when you both came back up, you were giggling and grinning at one another.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

the people kept arriving, and soon most of both yours and wills friend groups had shown up, along with a handful of randoms. the pool was getting packed by now.

naturally, a full pool only meant one thing.

“we’re running chicken, you in?”

clara’s boyfriend, brent, asked, nodding between you and will. she was stood next to him, looking a bit too pleased. this was obviously her idea, and something about it made you instantly suspicious.

you were just about to decline, when will nudged your elbow with his.

“sure. you in?”

he asked, looking over at you. he had this easy sort of smile on his face that made it really hard to say no.

“i guess.. clara, you ready?”

you asked, fully assuming that you’d be paired up with her, against the boys.

“mhm, just a sec.”

you stared at her as brent sunk beneath the water. she began clambering onto his shoulders, snickering to herself.

you’d been tricked.

“what.”

you gaped at her, as they both rose up.

“what? get on, i don’t have all day.”

“why do you hate me, genuinely..”

you sighed, turning to ask will if he was okay with this. weirdly, he wasn’t there anymore; he was already under the water, which you realized when you felt his fingers wrap around your shins.

“oh!”

you wobbled as he tugged you onto his shoulders, his hands resting respectfully on top of your thighs. he surfaced, lifting you with an ease that made your chest fuzzy, panting and laughing.

“push my hair outta my face, will ya?”

“oh, sure.”

you mumbled, brushing the wet hair off his forehead.

“thanks.”

“mhm.”

people were looking now. his friends were snickering, making ‘oohs’ and little comments you’d really rather gone without hearing.

you felt awfully conscious of it all, of everything about you. you could only pray your bottoms weren’t too far up your ass. as if he could read your mind, will gave your leg a gentle squeeze.

“ready?”

“ready.”

and then you were within arms range of clara. it didn’t take more than two seconds before you were shoving at each other, giggling as the boys stumbled around.

“this isn’t fair! im blind!”

you squealed as clara got a particularly good push in, right to the chest. to your surprise, you hardly moved, will using himself to balance it out.

“it’s so fair, he’s like, an athlete.”

“yours plays football!”

you laughed, delivering a solid shove to clara’s left shoulder. her boyfriend clearly hadn’t been expecting it, and you realized they were going down when you saw clara’s smile falter.

“shit.”

she gasped, plugging her nose as they toppled into the water. you lifted your arms, beaming.

“hey, we won!”

will tilted his head back against your stomach, smiling up at you. your hands had fallen to the sides of his head, just out of instinct, holding onto something to not tip over. whatever position this was, it felt far too intimate.

“like at least 90 percent of that was you, smitty.”

“nah, all you.”

“sure.”

you scoffed a laugh, rolling your eyes. you tapped his side with your foot, signaling him to put you down.

“hmm?”

“put me down?”

“nah, victory lap.”

“victory lap..?”

“s’what i said, isn’t it?”

he started walking, much to your dismay. you weren’t particularly interested in being paraded around, being the only one this high up, but clearly he didn’t care about that.

“you done yet?”

“mmh.. i don’t think so. m’enjoying myself.”

that alone would’ve made your breath catch normally, but he also pressed his fingers into your legs a little as he said it.

“oh.”

that was all you could say. thank god you’d been in the sun all day; your cheeks were bright red, but you could just blame it on sunburn.

“you okay?”

he asked, slowly coming to a stop along an empty edge. he tipped his head back, eyes flitting over your face like he was checking for anything wrong.

“yeah, why?”

“you’re quiet.”

“yeah.. lotta people looking.”

“oh.”

his expression softened in a way you don’t think you’d ever seen before. he held your gaze for a moment longer before turning around and backing towards the edge of the pool.

he gently set you on the deck, his hands sliding down your leg, turning so he was facing you. you quickly realized that left him standing nearly between your knees.

“my bad.. just.. tell me if im ever, like.. doing too much, okay?”

“doing too much?”

you echoed, tilting your head to the side a bit, confused. he shrugged, looking sheepish. embarrassed, maybe. it could be guilt, but you dismissed that idea immediately. what was there to feel guilty about?

“yeah. didn’t mean to make you.. i dunno.”

he gestured vaguely towards you. you realized what had just happened. he thought you’d been weirded out by him.

“no, will.. i wasnt.. uncomfortable. seriously. i promise.”

“you promise?”

“mhm.”

he just nodded, standing there, eye level with you. you could’ve sworn you saw his gaze drop to your mouth, but without your contacts in, you couldn’t be sure.

“will?”

“mhm?”

“you okay?”

his cheeks went pink as he met your eyes finally.

“yeah. tired.”

“oh so you’re saying that carrying me was tiring?”

you grinned, falling back into your usual routine. he smiled at you, shaking his head, looking relieved.

“i definitely didn’t say that.”

“well that’s what i heard.”

“if you ever hear me say that, then punch me in the face.”

“ooo, don’t have to tell me twice.”

you both laughed a little, both seemingly aware of what was clearly settling between the two of you. this wasn’t exactly a platonic conversation, particularly not when he was standing how he was.

“you hungry?”

he gave you a look like that was a stupid thing to ask.

“you already know the answer to that, dummy.”

“so mean to me.”

you joked, scooting back so you could stand up. he climbed out after you, and it took a genuine effort to not let your eyes linger on the water running down his torso.

“..c’mon, i’ll show you where the food is.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

about twenty minutes later, you were sat on the patio with a paper plate of food in your hands. you’d gone and slipped on a hoodie over your swimsuit, now that it was cooling off outside. the chlorine from the pool dried down on your sunned skin, left your hair all frizzy.

most of the people had gathered on the deck, as well, on the wicker outdoor couches surrounding a little fire pit. this included you and will, who were occupying a single chair together.

“scoot over, fat ass.”

“hey, im not fat.”

“you’re taking up three quarters of the chair.”

“my problem because..?”

“fine, be greedy by yourself.”

you sighed, moving to stand up. you were just irritated, tired from the sun, and incredibly hungry. you had absolutely no patience for this right now.

“wait what?”

he tugged you by the hem of your hoodie, right back down into the seat, scooting over without another complaint. you were about to comment on that when clara dropped a box of cards onto the table.

“cards against humanity, anyone?”

you and will glanced at each other, already grinning.

“team up?”

you asked, bumping his shoulder with yours.

“well no shit.”

“i’ll just die, it’s fine.”

“no don’t do that, that kills you.”

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you had made it maybe three rounds into the game before you’d just fully handed over the cards to will. you were completely exhausted, drained from the day.

now you leaned into his side, head on his shoulder with your hood pull up, mumbling about which card he should play.

“really? the nun one?”

“…yeah? that’s fucking hilarious.”

“i dunno. feels weird.”

“will smith, catholic goody two shoes over here.”

“alright, fuck off.”

he muttered, placing the card face down anyways.

“yeah you know im right.”

“shut up and go to sleep already, damn.”

“i mean, if you insist.”

you just shrugged, shifting to get more comfortable. the sky was growing darker, turning a pale purple shade. the fire was flickering gently against the backs of your eyelids. and will was nice and warm.

the combination was lethal. you were out in no more than five minutes.

“y/n? hello? you with me?”

you didn’t stir.

“okay cool.”

you’d been looking forward to this for weeks. one of your best friends, clara, had finally gotten the green light from her parents to host at her house. it hadn’t taken more than ten minutes after getting approval for her to make a group chat, outlining plans.

so now you were sat on the floor in her bedroom, doing your makeup in the mirror on the back of her closet door. she sat at her vanity, scrolling through the snapchat group.

you heard her gasp quietly, causing you to look up. you were met with her eyes already on you through the mirror, a poorly restrained smile on her face.

“don’t look at me like that.”

“shut up, you’re gonna love this.”

“okay..??”

“oh em gee. i can’t.”

you stared at her, quickly growing irritated.

“clara, spit it out.”

“you know how i invited bradley, yes?”

“yes..?”

“and you know how bradley is on that one team?”

“uh.. sure?”

“and you know how i told everyone they can add their friends to the group chat so they can come?”

“dude, i know all of these things, just tell me please.”

“will smith was added to it two minutes ago by brad.”

your jaw dropped open a little, your eyes round. that was possibly the best and worst thing she could’ve ever told you in this moment.

“you’re fucking with me.”

“on my life i’m not.”

“oh. shit.”

you turned back to your mirror, looking at yourself. then you checked the time. cursing under your breath, you got back to work on your makeup, moving with far more vigor than before.

you only have thirty minutes.

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you were pretty sure you could throw up from the anticipation. your stomach felt all fluttery and quite frankly, you weren’t sure if you were nauseous or just excited.

but as you set up the cup pong table, you quickly found out it was excitement.

over the next thirty minutes, people began trickling in. at first, it was mostly your closest friends. then it was your closest friends and their friends. and then it was friends of friends. and then it was people you only vaguely remembered seeing in passing, probably in the hallway at school.

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“so.. what is happening over here?”

you asked as you made your way to the table, seltzer in hand, addressing the four boys playing. one was kneeling.

“bitch cup.”

“uhm.. right, i know it’s june, but why are you on your knees next to another dude?”

“…bitch cup.”

you stood next to the pong table, watching what was probably the most confusing round you’d ever seen. you’d never heard of whatever the hell bitch cup was, but it sure was entertaining.

it wasn’t long before you were laughing, now that three out of the four were kneeling. you threw your head back a little, snickering.

that’s when you bumped the back of your head into something. someone.

“oh, m’sorry!”

you said, tilting your chin slightly to glance back.

“all good.”

“smitty!”

you beamed, turning to face him fully. he matched your smile, a slow grin spreading across his lips.

“hey, y/n.”

“when’d you get here?”

“just a few minutes ago.”

“oh, okay.”

both of you clearly didn’t know what there was to talk about. but simultaneously, both of you clearly wanted to talk about something.

“you ever heard of bitch cup?”

“what’d you call me?”

he joked, nose scrunching as he laughed. you loved that sound now.

“i dunno, it’s some stupid cup pong rule.”

“never heard of it.”

“me neither! i think they made it up.”

you both stood side by side, watching now. his arm pressed against your shoulder lightly, even though he had more than enough room to move about. the proximity was absolutely unnecessary. you weren’t mad about it, though.

after some time, you both seemed to realize that these people sucked at this game, and it was going nowhere. you grew bored after a few minutes, standing there with your lips slightly pursed like you were waiting for something interesting to happen.

“you wanna go?”

“what?”

you looked over at him, lifting an eyebrow. he just shrugged, glancing down at you.

“dunno, wanna like, run to the gas station or somethin’? kinda want a slushie.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how absurdly random it was. you looked around, at all the people, searching for clara. it didn’t take long to spot her, currently very engaged in a conversation by the fire.

“okay. you’re driving, though. i drank.”

“i would’ve driven either way, but okay.”

your stomach flipped at the way he’d said it, with a slight grin, like he’d known it was going to affect you. you just smiled a little, shaking your head and following after him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

the car ride had been full of him playing some of the worst music you’d ever heard. you’d mocked him the entire time, to which he’d just turned it up and sang along to it obnoxiously. horribly. you’d never heard worse, actually.

“yeah.. dont quit your day job.”

“well fuck. it’s too late, already did. what do i do now?”

and now you were in the gas station, standing in front of the neon slushie machine. the colorful liquid churned over in circles, the stickers on the container holding them boasting their names.

“no way.. i’m actually busting.”

you gasped, now filling your cup with baja blast slushie. he laughed, and started filling his cup. your attention was caught by it, now; he was adding blue raspberry, cherry, and cola into it. you stared at him, clearly judging.

“i’m irritated. what are you doing?”

“what’d i do?!”

“i don’t fucking know, you’re the one making lean in the gas station, man.”

he spilled some of the slushie with how hard he was laughing.

“oh alright, just call me the funniest person ever.”

“uh, sure.”

“..‘kay i’ll actually just die, like.. it’s fine. are you done making potions? i’m ready to go.”

“no, i need more.”

“your greed sickens me.”

you finally pried him away from the slushie machines, having to grab his shoulder and quite literally pry him away. you weaved through the aisles with him, until you found the line.

you both stood there, giggling quietly as you joked about the likely-nuclear gas station hot dogs on display ahead of you.

when it was your turn, you stepped forward, reaching for your phone from your pocket to use tap to pay. then he set his cup down next to yours, subtly using his arm to nudge you away from the card reader. he didn’t even glance over, fishing his wallet from his back pocket.

you just stared up at him as he payed, smiling and making small talk with the older man behind the counter. he didn’t look over, but from the way his cheeks went a little pink, you knew he could feel your eyes on him.

he turned to you, handing you your cup.

“ready?”

“mhm.”

you started towards the door, eyeing him like you were trying to figure something out.

“what?”

“thanks.”

he made a face, eyebrows pulling together. he looked like you’d just said something incredibly stupid.

“what?”

“..i’m thanking you for paying for mine?”

“oh, don’t.”

“what?”

“s’not needed. you’re not paying.”

he just shrugged, holding the door open for you as you both stepped outside into the near-dusk. the sky was a flat mix of orange and pink, making his eyes look way better than they should.

“oookay.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

two hours later, you were sat by the fire together. not enough people had brought their own chairs (which clara was pretty pissed about, because she’d definitely reminded them to at least three times today alone), so you were sitting on the ground. you had some random tie blanket wrapped around your shoulders, his shoulder pressing against yours through it.

when you got back, it hadn’t taken long before you’d both had the bright idea to pour vodka into your slushies. it had tasted way too good.

now you were looking over at him, watching the firelight flicker across his features. you sighed softly, slightly glossy eyes trailing over his profile.

“will.”

“mhm?”

“i still think your nose is like barbie’s.”

he turned his chin to meet your gaze, clearly trying not to smile.

“s’that a good thing?”

“mhm. very.”

“very?”

“yeah, i like it.”

even in the dim light from the fire, you could see the color rise to his face.

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

“okay.”

he turned back to the bonfire, his dimples still faintly indenting his cheeks.

“thanks, y/n.”

“yup.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

around one in the morning, people started trickling out. you and will were still by the dying fire, your head now resting on his shoulder. you weren’t sure when it had gotten there, honestly. simply, you’d gotten sick of holding it up, and he’d been right there.

“smitty, we gotta go, man.”

“nah.”

“nah?”

“nah.”

bradley stood over you two, looking down at will, clearly amused with the sight.

“fuck you mean, ‘nah’?”

“i mean nah.”

“not an option, bud. my moms curfew is 1:30.”

“but s’like, midnight.”

“it definitely isn’t.”

“i hate you.”

he groaned, stretching his legs out in front of him. he looked down at you, pressing his lips together like he didn’t want to say it.

“fuck-you-man says i have to go.”

“i heard.”

“okay.”

“well? you should probably go?”

“why are you mean?”

he mumbled, but he was smiling despite himself. you felt his arm shift underneath you, and you expected to lose your headrest.

instead, it wrapped around your shoulders. he was hugging you. it was casual, but your heart had either stopped or was beating so fast you couldn’t feel it anymore.

“bye, y/n. see ya.”

“bye, smit.”

his arm fell from you, and you were forced to pick up your head as he stood. you watched him walk away, your eyes following after him, leaving you completely stunned.

“ouuu.”

“fuck off.”

“that was cute.”

you turned your head to look up at clara, who was sat in the same chair as her boyfriend, her legs thrown over his. she was smirking, obviously enjoying this way too much.

“i.. i don’t even know, dude.”

“i don’t know either.”

“…i liked it.”

“clearly.”

“die, genuinely.”

you’ve drank before.

i mean, you’re freshly seventeen and living on the east coast. obviously you’ve had a drink.

but you were certain that you’d never done it like this.

it’s your birthday, which happens to fall near the end of the school year. testing was finally over, ap exams were done, and senior year felt closer than ever.

so obviously, some celebration was in order.

it was just a stroke of luck that there happened to be a party on the same friday as your birthday. through a friend of a best friend, you managed to get yourself invited. you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to have free drinks on your seventeenth.

so here you were, sitting in some random girls basement, a white claw in hand. it was your first, and definitely not last of the night. you chatted with some of the kids nearest to you, feeling wonderfully social tonight.

but then your friend placed a cup in your hand. a full cup.

you sniffed it. it burnt.

“awh, emma, what the hell is this?”

“fireball and diet coke.”

“why do you hate me and want me to die?”

but you were already taking a sip. it hurt. she’d been real generous on that first ingredient. you could barely tell there was coke in it at all.

and half an hour later you’d finished that and two corona pina colada seltzers.

“emma.. where’d ya get that?”

you asked your friend lazily, pointing at her malibu seltzer. she just nodded towards the coolers.

you wandered that way, the world tilting slightly under your feet. you felt great. incredible.

but then you looked over at the cooler.

the cooler itself wasn’t the problem. it was the group standing near it; all wearing lululemon shorts, a hoodie, and more than half of them with a hat on backwards.

hockey players.

you just groaned, deciding you couldn’t be bothered to let them steer you away from your malibu. you’d been clumsily crouched near the cooler, digging through it, when you heard your name.

“y/n?”

your stomach flipped, not from the drinks.

you looked up, head swimming, to spot exactly who you should’ve expected to spot.

blond hair covered mostly by his hat, blue eyes fixed on you and clearly finding this funny, a solo cup in his hand.

“hey.. will.”

you smiled up at him, losing your balance and plopping down on the ground next to the cooler. you just giggled. you were pretty sure he laughed, too.

“you’re having a pretty good birthday, huh?”

“you remembered it’s my birthday?”

you beamed up at him, a bit idiotically. of course he’d remembered. you’d already talked to him about it today in history class.

“mhm. sure did.”

“wow. that’s so cool.”

“guess so.”

he grinned, before taking a step closer. he crouched down next to you, now looking through the cooler, too.

“whatcha tryna find, birthday girl?”

“just a malibu thingy. emma had one. looked good.”

you mumbled, eyes on him as he dug through the ice. all you could think was that wow, you were drunk, which you reminded yourself in your head. that, and god, he looked really good from the side.

“i like your nose.”

“what?”

he laughed, obviously surprised, looking up at you like he thought he’d heard you wrong.

“s’like barbie.”

“you think my nose looks like barbie’s.”

he repeated, amused. if you weren’t hammered you might’ve noticed the color in his cheeks.

but you just nodded, like it was obvious.

“yep.”

“alright, then. thanks?”

“welcome.”

he just snickered, finally finding the drink you’d been looking for. he passed it to you with a smile, one that you were instantly staring at, unable to stop in this state.

“there you go.”

“thanks, will.”

“‘course. you good for now?”

“awesome for now.”

you said, now attempting to grip the wall to stand up. he reached out and slipped an arm under yours, helping you to your feet. it was a casual thing, but it still made you feel all fuzzy.

“you sure? where’s emma?”

you blinked at him, confused as to why he’d think you weren’t okay. and then confused as to why he wanted to know where emma was.

“girl, i dunno. probably… over there.”

you gestured vaguely, currently too busy cracking open your new drink.

“alright.. just lemme know if you need anything, ‘kay?”

“‘kay.”

and then you were off again. in the next thirty minutes, your malibu drink disappeared into your stomach, and you were then handed a number of shots that you quickly lost count of.

“yay! s’my birthday!”

you’d smiled, downing another.

before you knew it, you were outside, laying in the damp grass. the dew sept into your top, made your exposed skin feel itchy, but standing up was a problem right now.

“oh, wow.”

you rolled onto your stomach, giggling at how difficult it was to lift your head. you spotted him, face difficult to see due to the porch light behind him.

“will..!”

you practically cooed, smiling all happily, clearly pleased that it was him standing there.

“hi, y/n. you okay?”

“i’m literally fan-fucking-tastic. whattabout you?”

“i’m fan-fucking-tastic, too.”

“really? that’s like.. awesome.”

he just smiled, walking down the porch steps to reach you. he dropped down into the grass beside you, not complaining about the damp.

“what’re you doing out here?”

you asked, looking up at him with big, glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

“could ask you the same.”

“don’t.”

“okay.”

you fell into silence for a few moments. it wasn’t awkward, or at least you were fairly sure it wasn’t. but you couldn’t take the quiet very long.

“will?”

“yeah?”

“i think you’re pretty cool.”

“…yeah?”

“sorry for yelling at you for laughing that one time. i didn’t mean to be mean.”

“you weren’t mean.”

“you sure? i felt mean.”

“i’m sure, you weren’t.”

“okay.”

a few moments passed in silence.

“are you super sure?”

he didn’t answer, just laughed. you found yourself laughing, too, just because he was. he shifted towards you, kneeling and offering his hand to help you up.

“okay, birthday girl, let’s get you a ride home.”

“okie dokie.”

“okie dokie.”

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