The other day I was on the phone with one of my friends around 3pm. We had been on the phone talking about life and the change/shift/blessing we both agree is needed in our financial lives. He and I are going through incredibly different situations right now, but we have agreement on a lot of things. One of those things being that money could really help alleviate some stress and turn some stuff around.
He was telling me how his struggles as a single father do not do anything to dim the light and joy that he receives from being there for his child, and that probably the only thing that frustrates him in this season is the possibility of him having to disappoint his child by not being able to provide the everything asked for. I agreed that I too struggle with that same sentiment, having moments of complete frustration with myself for not being able to do the more, the better, the extra that I want to be able to for my family as well. But, in that same breath, I’m so grateful. I walk and sleep in gratefulness. I am thankful for life, for living. We agree and align in that.
Then we were talking about what we were both doing for dinner that evening, with both of us making light of having to make “life or death” decisions at the grocery store because of prices. He made the comment that he was going to get something from his freezer and put a meal together. I had cooked the day before so it would be leftovers for us. I made a statement that it’s not always going to be like this. This is just this season. Not forever. Just our right now.
I was at home. He was in the car on the way to pick his child up from school. When his daughter got in the car he asked how her day was. She excitedly reported the amazing activities of her time spent in school. And then she started asking questions, the way young and curious minds ask questions. One question after another. Nonstop. Each question just as enthusiastically inquired and intentional as the one before. My friend answered and in between the great inquisition he and I continued talking.
Then she said, “Daddy, I’m hungry”. My friend tells her that he is going home to cook something right now and that she can have a snack when they get in the house. She responds that she is really hungry and that she wants a certain favorite meal from a certain favorite restaurant. He responds by saying that she can have that another day but this day they are going to have what he is going to cook. She reiterates that she wants her favorite food from her favorite restaurant. And she reminds him that she hasn’t had it in a long time. This goes on for about 3 minutes, her talking about this food.
Then this conversation happens:
“Daddy doesn’t have the money for that meal today babygirl.” He tells her.
“Not today. Today we have to take care of some important bills and some things you need for school.” He replies.
“I only want one thing.” She offers.
“You got some money? You got some money I don’t know about and you can pay for the food?” He says to her.
“No. You have some. Use your card.” She said.
And she left that conversation and went back to asking questions.
And guess where they went? To that restaurant. To get her favorite food.
Matthew 18:3-4. As well as other teachings and beliefs that speak on the access to God coming by way of childlike faith.
She so confidently spoke that she wanted what she wanted and had every expectation that her Dad was more than capable of getting it. She didn’t argue or go back and forth. She said what she said, stood on it, and kept moving.
That’s the faith and expectation that we are supposed to have. To know that it will be taken care of. Whatever it is. We are to make our request known and then move on. The only work we can do is what we can do. In some instances, all that is, is the ability to ask. To say what it is that we need, or want. And then know that it will be done.
I’ll be having open heart surgery soon. I found out about an issue with my aorta a little over a month ago. Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of appointments and hospitalization and medication and so much information. A diagnosis of an aortic aneurysm, a dilated aorta, and atrial fibrillation. All of that. Learning of it all at once. Being told the severity of it all. To expect change in my life. To prepare for open heart surgery. To see this doctor and this specialist and take this medication. And wait.
In that wait, I’ve been given instructions by the doctors to not do anything that could raise my blood pressure, which could adversely affect my body, which could cause the aneurysm that I have in my chest, to rupture. Wait. Be patient.
Here’s the thing though, I internalize. I have been prone to stress. I have a pension for worrying. I overthink. And I do too much. It is a challenge for me to “let go”. I’ve had to do so much and be so much in my life, I am not very good at not doing something, at least trying to do something. And having to do nothing almost forces me to over-overthink. To extra-internalize. To really worry. Do you know how much doing nothing costs me!?!?
In this season though, I have to do exactly that, nothing.
And guess what? I’m realizing just how everything that is.
And the faith that we are supposed to have.
And just who and what and how God is.
That “Use your card” faith, lol.
#seethepoet #thesewordswork #motivation #qotd
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