c'es la vie

Even you have your ridiculous moments.

To the ridiculous people, at least. 

False. Any human can fall prey to an inopportune Kodak moment.

Every now and again

I’m sure you’ve seen Elf.  Add a little “syrup” to your coffee and you’ll be golden.  What can I say, I have a knack for the finishing touches.

I have, and that's an excellent idea. Or I could go full Mad Men and install a bar in my office. You most certainly do. Your lime slices are particularly artful.

Excuse you, that could have happened to anyone.

Do you want to test me?

I’m calling your bluff.

Every now and again

I have to drink something until it’s socially acceptable to drink vodka. You know I only tolerate the umbrella if you put it in. You have such a flair for garnishes.

Pretty sure I have pictures. 

I doubt that.

Oh, and that human being is supposed to be you? Not really giving others something to live up to. 

Reach for the stars, Satan.

Evidence points to yes. 

I don’t see any evidence. 

You’re just so damn ridiculous. 

That’s not even remotely true.

100% not true. Came back to plenty of people that missed me. Maybe you’re the one that needs to disappear.

45% true. God, I wish. But someone in this apartment complex has to be a functioning, productive human being.

The world’s going to implode. 

Once the delicate balance of the office is disrupted, it’s chaos from here on out.

Every now and again

The world needed a break from you, too. But now you’re back and we’ll have to find a way though.