PRIVATE LIFE BLOG @seancodydotcompremium - Tumblr Blog

I love going "i need to become more weird in order to find a partner" as if the brand of weird i am already isn't actively making it impossible to find a partner

#OKAY LISTEN #I know about amatonormativity #And i do resent it #But at the same time #I've lost so many friends to relationships #It's like actively becoming difficult to not develop a sort of exclusion based trauma off of it #So i do want someone who will be there for me #And i want to be there for someone else #Like actually i just need to become codependent with someone i think #*becomes a parasite and attaches myself to you* oki i'm assembling you now we're part of each other forever and ever #Now we make out sloppy style #<- what i need in a relationship basically

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Need to learn to be on myself more and focus on my friends so i will not be downloading dating apps for the rest of the year

#I had grindr like 1 month #That's it #But no quitting again i want to become more weird <- says that while already being peculiar

questcequecestqueca

Walter Molino

roach-works

this man really woke up every morning and committed to painting the absolute dopest fucking pictures anyone could ever have imagined god bless

very-gay-alkyrion

@meowing-enby

spacecasepc

antithesis to Norman Rockwell

#Hell yea violence

Kinda random but i still have noticed it. So normally my "horny" level kinda swings between periods of less and periods of more. But recently, they're being more extreme (why, i don't know) to the point where during the low periods i can easily go a week without even thinking about jerking off, while the high periods basically make me hypersexual. It's really weird and i cannot for the love of me say why this started but tbf i kinda enjoy the more asexual periods like thank god i don't have to be busy with that anymore

seancodydotcompremium

Ugh like don't get me wrong i'm so happy for one of my best friends that she's in a relationship but at the same time that relationship has put incredible strain on our friendship (and also a bit in reverse tbf). Like her partner is incredibly hung up on the fact that we used to date (we literally went on 1 date btw, after like knowing each other for 6 months) and since i'm a very touchy-feely kinda person with the people i'm close with, obviously i'm very touchy with her. And that's never been a problem. Until her partner. Who simply cannot get over it and gets incredibly jealous and insecure about it. (like don't get me wrong i empathise with her for this and i don't fault her for it) so now i literally have to watch every move i make with her. I cannot even greet her with a hug anymore or she starts feeling a little bit insecure. And last friday i saw my friend again after at least 2 months and i was a bit drunk bc we were at festivities so obviously i was super excited to see her. But apparently i crossed the touch-line again without realising it. So her partner has been having issues with it, again 😞😬🙄🫩 so she had to talk about it with me again too

And i hate this. I feel like my friend is being taken from me and i cannot be myself with her anymore when her partner's there. It's like walking on eggshells now around her. And they're been together for like almost half a year by now too and it's still happening which is making this even more annoying. I see this friend like maybe 1 time in 1.5 months if i'm lucky and her partner is there every time i see her so yea obviously i miss her a lot but the fact that this is still an issue is starting to grate on me now, and also on their relationship so now i'm just starting to wonder if maybe i just should... slowly let her drift away from me and this whole mess bc i do NOT want to be a repeating problem in their relationship but idk if just not being friends is the solution bc do you know how hard it is to stop being a touchy person with your friends when that is who you are?

seancodydotcompremium

Btw i think i did solve the problem here and the solution basically amounted to me decoupling all feelings i had about her as a best friend. So i still see her as a friend but now i cannot view her as a best friend anymore which should help i think. If not i don't think i would really care about losing the friendship anymore

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Love it when parents are like "hey go do this thing" and you're like but i don't know how to do this thing and i'm scared to do it alone so they react with calling you a failure and blame you for their shitty, stressed out lives

#Like okay #Ugh anyways it doesn't bother me anymore #We've done this so many times

caffedorzo

spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!

will you take the money?

yes

no

bald / nuance

Voting ended onAug 1

orcboxer

I mean. Okay

#Taylor swift ajdk1hdk1odj #Okay listen i may hate her but i'll take 10k a month from her

swarnpert

unwritten by natasha bedingfield is how allergy medicine is supposed to make you feel

#I love my allergy medication i am no longer chronically tired thanks to it

spin-the-wheel-polls

you get a breath weapon like a dragon, and the options go from fire to things like gravel or bees

you have this breath weapon! (also you're a dragon)

are you happy with it?

yes!!!!!

a little

it's okay I guess

no.

NO.

result/other

Voting ended onAug 2

#Vines #How does that work and in what instance is that usefull beside tentacle porn scenarios?

Ugh like don't get me wrong i'm so happy for one of my best friends that she's in a relationship but at the same time that relationship has put incredible strain on our friendship (and also a bit in reverse tbf). Like her partner is incredibly hung up on the fact that we used to date (we literally went on 1 date btw, after like knowing each other for 6 months) and since i'm a very touchy-feely kinda person with the people i'm close with, obviously i'm very touchy with her. And that's never been a problem. Until her partner. Who simply cannot get over it and gets incredibly jealous and insecure about it. (like don't get me wrong i empathise with her for this and i don't fault her for it) so now i literally have to watch every move i make with her. I cannot even greet her with a hug anymore or she starts feeling a little bit insecure. And last friday i saw my friend again after at least 2 months and i was a bit drunk bc we were at festivities so obviously i was super excited to see her. But apparently i crossed the touch-line again without realising it. So her partner has been having issues with it, again 😞😬🙄🫩 so she had to talk about it with me again too

And i hate this. I feel like my friend is being taken from me and i cannot be myself with her anymore when her partner's there. It's like walking on eggshells now around her. And they're been together for like almost half a year by now too and it's still happening which is making this even more annoying. I see this friend like maybe 1 time in 1.5 months if i'm lucky and her partner is there every time i see her so yea obviously i miss her a lot but the fact that this is still an issue is starting to grate on me now, and also on their relationship so now i'm just starting to wonder if maybe i just should... slowly let her drift away from me and this whole mess bc i do NOT want to be a repeating problem in their relationship but idk if just not being friends is the solution bc do you know how hard it is to stop being a touchy person with your friends when that is who you are?

#Like i'm sorry i can try to be accomodating but at some point i feel like you're just gonna have to get over yourself about the issue #I'm trying to accomodate for you bc i don't want to be a problem friend that puts strain on the relationship but i feel like you should also #put in some work about getting more confident

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Okay so update on the italian guy. I actually had to end it. It was already a bit difficult with the distance and not being able to plan quality time for each other but what finally did me in was his feet fetish. Like i tried to be open minded about it but he just said something that gave me an ick so bad i lost all sexual attraction for him. I didn't quite want to admit it but i realised i had to end it when i wanted to plan a date with another guy who lives near the capital

#Also about the guy from the capital #Okay first actually i need to give background context #So in one of the bigger cities (the one where i study and have a student room) they're holding festivities that last 10 days #And we wanted to go together #But he couldn't bc he was so busy (understandable)#But he just started ignoring me bc of it #So i had to take some distance #Which he could understand #And i had just said to him “yea obviously you're busy but i'm disappointed you didn't just say that #So like just text me if you still want to see me and you actually have time for me“#But like yesterday evening we were both at the festivities in that bigger city where i study #And he wanted to see me irl to apologise #Which is cute #But i had to go find him with 2 of my female friends in tow which was not ideal #But we just talked a bit and they didn't know we wanted to go on a date #But i slipped my hand into his while hiding it from my friends and omg it was wonderful and cute and just like ugh everything ahahaha #Like i love just holding peoples hand and stroking it softly with my thumb #And we were doing that just like hiding it from my friends i was just leaning into his personal space a little bit #Close enough to be like oh they're good friends but not too close that it was suspicious #Oh it was wonderful even tho we couldn't have alone time #But i still need to remember to not give him too much i'll just try to give back the same amount he gives #But i do really want that date now tho #AND OMG ALSO #HIS NOSE WAS JUST SO CUTE AND HANDSOME AT THE SAME TIME #I'm a sucker for people with aquiline noses #It was so small too but just cute #Okay i need to shut up ahahaha #Ok that's life update for now i guess?#Wait no actually i still have one more thing to say about him #Normally i had a hook up planned with someone on monday but now it just feels plain wrong now that i've met him

Ugh like i know it'll be almost impossible to combine the 2 between me me alone but at the same time i don't want to let go of my PR function, even tho now i'm basically doing event organising with a friend

#I GOT TOO ATTACHED TO SENDING MAILS AND ADDICTED TO ORGANISING A JOB FAIR #<- insane problem to have and be jealous of that people want also want to do it

Omg i just send a voice note to someone that we don't have to meet up if they don't want to and also that i don't appreciate being ignored for a day when they say they want to make new plans and i've been getting notifs of them texting me for the past 2 minutes now 😭

Stoopppp i think i'm actually going to throw up from laughing too much

#Like sorry but someone being dominating towards me is hot IN THEOEY #THEORY #I'm not fixing that #Anyways #In practice i simply cannot take it seriously #“oh i'm going to push you against the wall” okay bro and gimme a fist bump afterwards too #Sorry literally incapable of taking it serious irl it's so fucking funny #Sorry to everyone in who's face i've laughed when they tried that

Okay this is kinda crazy and a non-sequitur but omg my new boss is actually such a dilf

#I'M ALLOWED TO CALL HIM THAT HE HAS A TODDLER BTW (he's like 31 actually BUT TODDLER)

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Ugh reading levi-ticus fanfic and it's just insane some of these make my stomach twist with yearning. Like i'm sorry but i was actually purposefully created to have a codependent gay relationship that starts out as toxic for the both of us but that eventually blooms into something beautiful

#I had the toxic part once and then it started to get better for both of us and omg i have literally never felt like that about anyone ever #Before or after that #Like please i actually do need a codependent relationship i think it would fix me

It's like 4 am and i should be sleeping but instead i'm up and awake by a mixture of obsession over levi-ticus, yearning, suicidal ideation and grief

#The grief is about me having so much difficulty to fall in love #I need to go through something really fucked up with someone and come out codependent <- only way i can feel “love”#Right now i just think i need someone to sit with me‚ legs crossed on my bed‚ and who kisses my wrists while i ugly cry for feeling broken

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