disabled

You know... life is a breath, it passes in the blink of an eye, it goes by too fast.

I had the feeling of having lost everything, everything lost its color, I felt the taste of losing everything I wanted and dreamed of, I lost motivation so many times, I lost the will to wake up every day, but even so I did it and continued… and continued… and continued…

I did what was expected of me, what I was advised to do, but still that wasn't enough, the hole that grew inside me was huge.

I discovered illnesses, and I felt so scared, I was already afraid of the future, but I started to feel more. I had no hope, so I started to act as I wanted to feel the taste of life, I tried to understand myself and learn to forgive, I can't live full of resentment. I went over what I thought was right to feel happy, then I realized that my rightness didn't make me happy. I was never able to be myself and this plunged me into anguish.

Everyone is rooting for you to get back on your feet, for you to be okay, for everything to be okay for you, but we are alone anyway, no one is going to do this for you, except yourself.

My fears, my insecurities, my scares, my joys, my tears, only I know what happened, only I know what I felt, only me.

I just want things to get better, I discovered that I have dreams after seeing them slip through my fingers, I would like to make them come true.

Do I deserve this? I wish I didn't feel disposable, I wish I wasn't affected by the doubts of the person I wanted to be sure of. I didn't want to feel like I was going to be left again at any moment, I wanted to feel safe. I wish I didn't feel like I was in the middle of a battle, I just want peace. I want to feel that he loves me again..and that everything will be fine. I don't want to keep thinking this.. I don't want to keep feeling like I'm unlucky.