S Dot Zwane

“You ever hurt a girl in your life, you are going to sleep with Bobby” Bobby being the stray, flea infested dog from our street. My late grandmother said these words that live with me forever.

“You are not a man and will never be the superhero you want to be if you hit girls” my mother said this immediately after my gran’s spine chilling words.

I was scared.

These words were said to me when I was 5, after an incident at daycare when I smacked one girl for talking sideways to me. Growing up, I had the notion that women are NOT to be hurt. In any way.

I’ve taken bats to bodies for my mother, I’ve pummeled old men for disrespecting my grandmother, I even was once acquitted of a suspension for fighting a bully at school that harassed my little sister. I’ve always been protective of the women in my life whether family or we got acquainted differently. I love women.

Growing up, I realized that women were just as capable as men. I had a back and forth for the number 1 student with a girl in primary. The more I got A’s, her report card looked like a sigh, AAAAAH (our teacher’s name was coincidentally Helen, so she signed H)

In my life, it has always been women making me want to be better. My girlfriend in high school was a woman who taught me about different sexualities and neither one of them deserves judgement or discrimination. My therapist helped me understand & deal with my mental condition and depression when I took it as fatigue and sporadic rage. My friends teach me how to treat a woman with respect and what they find intrusive.

I’m learning about women from women. I’m learning how to treat women from women.

This day, we have (or rather always have but didn’t name it) a movement called feminism. The issue of feminism is met by dismal from many men. Ironically, feminism fights for women to be heard.

I personally believe men can’t be feminist. Pro the movement, yes. I say that because as men we come from a position of privilege. We come from a position of being the perpetrators of abuse to women. Whether we like it or not, accept or deny; having a dick is privilege.

Above that, we should hear women out and not overtake them. They are Beyoncé, we as men are the Les Twins.

There are myths about feminism I’ve come across. As a man debunking them, I hope it will maybe clear the air that feminism is not a planned holocaust on all with a dick.

They are Beyoncé, we as men are the Les Twins.

Feminists hate men

No they don’t. They hate the privilege that has been bestowed on men by mere genitals. The privilege that has been a cloak for many men since Adam lost a rib. They hate that instead of men acknowledging they been unfairly put forward, they instead push women even more backwards. It’s the mindset ingrained in men that feminists hate. Not men.

Feminists are undersexed, so it’s that pent up anger

Lol! This is not true. Being aware of self don’t make her vagina undesirable. In fact, the opposite. By knowing that sex is not only for men, she is more aware of her pleasures and reciprocation is inevitable (read:infinite nasty levels) to a man or woman who understands this.

Men who are pro-feminism are gay

LMAO! The question of sexuality is an outdated insult that bears no fruit. Wanting fairness and equality has no bearing to who sexually pleases you. Instead, feminism is pro all in LGBTIQ community.

I wrote this because I felt I had to. We drink and joke as boys, we even talk about women’s asses but we never talk about women’s issues. We don’t talk much about how as men we can have women feel safe and comfortable. We don’t talk how we can protect women.