Ad Astra Per Aspera

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

Lmfao

This post honestly keeps getting better

my family has called this playing under cover monster :3

the sequel we never heard about but desperately needed

i hope they get where theyre going safely…theyre really small i hope theyre o.k….imagine if steps were that big for you…scary…

currently obsessed with how vanessa stockard draws black cats. i've never seen anyone capture their ability to transform into a vaguely cat-shaped void with so much accuracy

he’s got BONES in there

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

FRIEND

They guard against SADNESS